fresh start
i broke up with him today. it was the hardest thing i've ever done...because it was my decision. i know it's for the best. for both of us...
i just can't seem to stop crying.
and i know i did the right thing...honest. i want him to be happy and i want to be happy...i just can't get past what he said to me. i was right. i was so right. he knew so much of me and i knew so little of him. he just wouldn't let me in. i know that there is someone out there that is so much better for him than i ever could be...and i know that there is someone out there for me who is so much better for me than he ever could be. we just went through so much together...and i sacrificed so much for him...for me to feel like i was never really completely loved. i know i broke up with him, but my whole being hurts. for the longest time i thought he was it for me...we talked about getting married and we talked about everything. if it's the right thing, then why does it hurt so bad?
it's only been 3 and 1/2 hours....
and i miss him...he doesn't even care. i feel so unloved...he was so mean...
he's never been that mean.
god, i've just read what i've written. i broke up with him damnit...i had my own damn reasons. he doesn't get it. he doesn't really know me. he thought he did and i thought he did, but he didn't. sure he knew the basics, color, flower, shape, holiday, food, etc...but he didn't really know me. we didn't have anything in common....it's just...gone. it's just all gone. he and i are two people who are so completely different....this was for the best. if he's mad at me, so be it. i can't be mad at him. i just can't. i don't really have any anger towards anyone...i just want to be alone. for a long long time. now i can go to school and concentrate on that and making new friends and having my old ones come up to visit.
*raises glass* to a fresh start.
i just can't seem to stop crying.
and i know i did the right thing...honest. i want him to be happy and i want to be happy...i just can't get past what he said to me. i was right. i was so right. he knew so much of me and i knew so little of him. he just wouldn't let me in. i know that there is someone out there that is so much better for him than i ever could be...and i know that there is someone out there for me who is so much better for me than he ever could be. we just went through so much together...and i sacrificed so much for him...for me to feel like i was never really completely loved. i know i broke up with him, but my whole being hurts. for the longest time i thought he was it for me...we talked about getting married and we talked about everything. if it's the right thing, then why does it hurt so bad?
it's only been 3 and 1/2 hours....
and i miss him...he doesn't even care. i feel so unloved...he was so mean...
he's never been that mean.
god, i've just read what i've written. i broke up with him damnit...i had my own damn reasons. he doesn't get it. he doesn't really know me. he thought he did and i thought he did, but he didn't. sure he knew the basics, color, flower, shape, holiday, food, etc...but he didn't really know me. we didn't have anything in common....it's just...gone. it's just all gone. he and i are two people who are so completely different....this was for the best. if he's mad at me, so be it. i can't be mad at him. i just can't. i don't really have any anger towards anyone...i just want to be alone. for a long long time. now i can go to school and concentrate on that and making new friends and having my old ones come up to visit.
*raises glass* to a fresh start.