I can't explain, you would not understand; this is not who I am
I volunteered at the Horse Protection League today, and had a blast! I drive by it every day, but going there alone with no knowledge of their organizaion seemed too daunting, even after I learned that Saturdays at 9 am they have 'volunteer days' for the community...
But, the past couple of weeks I've begun to feel like a real person again. It began with noticing that I can look around and walk in a decently straight line at the same time. I don't know when this happened, but I do know that I spent at least four years being unable to walk without glancing straight ahead occasionally while always watching my feet. Anyone who's walked next to me can attest that I walk into people ALL THE TIME, or, did! Combined with my new glasses, I can actually see the world all around me, and it's AMAZING. It's almost more amazing than the day I regained feeling in my hands (and spent the entire day caressing a lemon...)! I haven't felt like a victim of my accident so much lately (someday maybe I won't feel that way at all, I hope so!) which has given me a lot more courage to talk to other people. I guess I felt like the accident was my life, and since no one could really relate, I stopped trying. But now I've made new friends! My God! People I don't know in classes actually start conversations with me, and I have things to say, questions to ask, and shared bits to laugh about! It's AWESOME! I keep telling Mike I feel like I'm 5 years old and I have to learn all my social skills and study skills from the ground up, but that my peers are all college students with their own intricate system(s). But everyone's amazingly nice, and it's given me more and more confidence- being able to talk and walk with people between classes, having people offer their numbers to hang out and ask for mine, and no one seems to think I'm weird or slow or anything :-)
Anyway, I feel like a person again, so I went to the horse rescue! And everyone was amazing, and the horses had those amazing stories that I always read and then cry about, and the combination was so lovely. So, I'm going to get trained as a feeder, and as an 'excersisor'- which has two stages of certification- lunging, and riding. In March they apparently assign willing volunteers to specific horses, so that, hopefully, each horse has a consistant person in addition to all the people who are constantly helping out. Emie, the barn manager, suggested that I get all my training done before then so that I can help w/ Slim, a big Thoroughbred who's one of the only horses that needs riding, and also one of the most nervous on the ground. They think he might have been a dressage or a jumper, and apparently most of the other riders are western style, so they'd like someone who knows some English to be his primary rider. That would be exciting!
So, life is good! :-) And it's getting very busy, and it feels good to be able to be busy! I'm excited about homework- something MUST be wrong with me!
But, the past couple of weeks I've begun to feel like a real person again. It began with noticing that I can look around and walk in a decently straight line at the same time. I don't know when this happened, but I do know that I spent at least four years being unable to walk without glancing straight ahead occasionally while always watching my feet. Anyone who's walked next to me can attest that I walk into people ALL THE TIME, or, did! Combined with my new glasses, I can actually see the world all around me, and it's AMAZING. It's almost more amazing than the day I regained feeling in my hands (and spent the entire day caressing a lemon...)! I haven't felt like a victim of my accident so much lately (someday maybe I won't feel that way at all, I hope so!) which has given me a lot more courage to talk to other people. I guess I felt like the accident was my life, and since no one could really relate, I stopped trying. But now I've made new friends! My God! People I don't know in classes actually start conversations with me, and I have things to say, questions to ask, and shared bits to laugh about! It's AWESOME! I keep telling Mike I feel like I'm 5 years old and I have to learn all my social skills and study skills from the ground up, but that my peers are all college students with their own intricate system(s). But everyone's amazingly nice, and it's given me more and more confidence- being able to talk and walk with people between classes, having people offer their numbers to hang out and ask for mine, and no one seems to think I'm weird or slow or anything :-)
Anyway, I feel like a person again, so I went to the horse rescue! And everyone was amazing, and the horses had those amazing stories that I always read and then cry about, and the combination was so lovely. So, I'm going to get trained as a feeder, and as an 'excersisor'- which has two stages of certification- lunging, and riding. In March they apparently assign willing volunteers to specific horses, so that, hopefully, each horse has a consistant person in addition to all the people who are constantly helping out. Emie, the barn manager, suggested that I get all my training done before then so that I can help w/ Slim, a big Thoroughbred who's one of the only horses that needs riding, and also one of the most nervous on the ground. They think he might have been a dressage or a jumper, and apparently most of the other riders are western style, so they'd like someone who knows some English to be his primary rider. That would be exciting!
So, life is good! :-) And it's getting very busy, and it feels good to be able to be busy! I'm excited about homework- something MUST be wrong with me!