poetry - bear with me here

[clockwork_deity]

no title... i need to get some feelings out...

Why does this always happen
Everytime ive got things working
New events reveal their true intentions
Destroying everything already in motion
You were never more than a good dream, were you?

try to put yourself in my shoes
in my skin
cant be too hard
with all the holes ive left in
here in and henceforth
ill never follow a dream again
never fall to this dreadful end
on a path to fleeting happiness
ive gotten lost again
im alone without my mask
a fool chasing an illusion
too monumental a task, but i took it
so stupid
so illusive, but im almost there
ive almost caught up
confidence built up
armor like achilles'
just one last little chink in the fence
but now youre through it.
through with it all
through with the chase
youre done with me.
rightunder the radar
right into my heart
armed with sorrys
apologies and the lot
is this getting let down easy
or a knife in the back
a difference i just cant see
but youd have been miserable with me
so have fun
i dont care
youre not here
youre there
youre with him
not with me
it probably wasnt meant to be
i knew that the whole time
but everyone said keep going
youre doing fine
look where it got me
see where i am now
see where im not
see what im not
im not too happy
and im not where i want to be
thats about the most personal thing
you'll ever get from me
again.