Remember - Chapter Seven
Chapter Seven
Featuring "I Could Get Used To This" by The Veronicas
I blink a few times and watch Grant with a dumb founded look. "What?"
"Can we talk?" he repeats. I take a deep breath and nod.
He tries to walk in and I step in front of him, blocking his entrance. We're so close i can feel the heat radiating off his body and I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I look down and take a deep breath. When I have my thoughts back to the situation at hand and not last nights events, I look up at him. He's watching me with half closed eyes. He licks his lips and I'm at a loss for words again. I can feel my heart starting to speed up and warning signs are flashing in my mind. I step back a bit and hug myself. I can feel his eyes on me and i look down, suddenly very interested in the carpet.
"If...if this is about last night lets talk somewhere else. Kris might hear." I say, still not looking at him.
"Okay."
I take a deep breath and turn to grab my phone from the night stand and I wonder why Kris woke me up so early. Did she know Grant was coming over? I push the thought from my mind and knock on the bathroom door.
"Going for a walk!" I say and leave, not waiting for an answer.
Me and Grant walk down the hall, avoiding the elevator and take the stairs. We don't talk until we're out of the hotel. We end up walking towards the park. Since its still early its still a bit cold out and there’s a bit of fog. The trees still have morning mist on them and for some reason the peacefulness of it calms me a bit until I remember who I'm walking with. I hug myself and look every where but at him.
"I'm sorry about last night, Grant. I was drunk and it was stupid of me to even show up at your room. You have a wife and kids back home. And you're my father's best friend. I didn't mean to screw anything up for you." I say, not waiting for him to start.
"You didn't screw anything up, Matti. And to be completely honest, I'm glad you showed up. Surprised, but glad." he says from my side.
We walk through a wall of fog and a chill runs through me. He doesn't seem to feel it, being in black jeans, a TAPS shirt and his heavy canvas jacket. Me on the other hand, I'm still wearing my short-shorts and tank top, along with a pair of converse, I feel every bit of cold air.
"How did I not screw anything up?"
He must have felt me shiver beside him because he takes his jacket off and stops me as he drapes it over my shoulders. He zips it up a bit, my arms still hugged around myself. "You didn't screw anything up. Me and Reanna aren't even together anymore. We're getting divorced."
I look up at this. He doesn't seem sad. No tears. No frown. Nothing. "What? Since when?" I ask, not caring that his hands are resting on my hips, beneath my shirt.
Grant took a deep breath and sighed. "We don't love each other anymore. Haven't for a long time. I suppose we stayed together so long because of the kids."
I don't know what to say to this so I say nothing. I just watch him with sad eyes. He cocks his head to one side and throws me a crooked smile. "It isn't because of you. I wouldn't get divorced because of one stupid night. Besides, it isn't like she hasn't had her share of drunken one night stand herself." he says. “And what we did just happened, her and I have been separated for a while.”
Stupid night? Drunken one night stand? Is that all it was to him. Of course it was. What am I thinking? We were both drinking. Therefore we were both drunk. So yes, it was a stupid night. It was a drunken ONE night. Never again. That's what he said. But he just said he was glad I showed up. I'm so confused and my head is starting to hurt, along with my heart. I don't understand why. It really was just a drunken night. It didn't mean anything....right?
I start walking again and he follows me until we're walking side by side again. We walk for a few minutes before I say something. "Is that why you were glad I showed up last night?"
"What?"
"You said you were glad I showed up last night. Is it because you wanted to get back at her for having her own one night stands?" I ask, for some reason dreading the answer.
"No, Matti I didn't mean it that way." he says, stopping me.
"Then how did you mean it?" I say, getting a bit angry now.
"I don't know. But I didn't mean it like that." He says.
I watch him for a moment then start walking again. I don't know why, but i believe him. He's never lied to me before. Why would he lie about this? Its better not to lie. We talk about everything that happened. We discuss why we could continue on with what ever is between us and why we can't. By the time we get back to the hotel I'm still not sure on what is going on between me and Grant and I'm more confused than ever. We stop in front of my room and awkwardly stand there. Was this a date? No, just two friends talking. I think. I don't know. I have no clue what the hell is going on. Handing him his jacket back, I smile my thanks and open my door.
"Get some sleep, alright? We‘re supposed to investigate tonight." he says. I nod and go to close my door when he stops me. "I am sorry, Matti." Is he breaking up with me? No, he can't be. We aren't even dating. So what is he sorry for? "I just don't want you getting into any shit with your dad, okay?"
So we're not going to continue. Nice to finally know. “I know.”
“And Matti?” He takes one of my hands in his and cups the side of my face with his other hand, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. “What you told me last night, I’m glad you can trust me with it, but you need to talk about it. You can’t let it ruin who you are. You’re an amazing gir…” he stops himself from calling me a girl and smiles sadly, “You‘re an amazing woman. You didn’t deserve any of that.”
My bottom lip trembles and my eyes brim with tears. I nod and quickly hug him before entering the hotel room and closing the door behind me. I lean against the door and close my eyes, willing the tears away. Taking a deep breath, I walk over to my bed and sit down. I drop my phone on the night stand and pick up a note from Kris. She's gone out with Tango and my dad. I smile, happy to have the room to myself. For some reason I feel lonely but I don't want anyone around. I just want to sleep. I kick off my converse shoes and fall backwards onto the bed, lost in my thoughts. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel anymore.
There's a knock on my door and I'm snapped out of my thoughts. I answer my door and find myself smiling. "Hey"
"Hungover?" Steve asks.
"A little." I say. "Come on in."
"Thanks. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You look like you're going to cry." he says and brushes some hair out of my face.
"Just a bit depressed. Don't ask why. I have no idea." i say before he can say anything else.
"Well I'm gonna cheer you up." he says. He walks over to the DVD player and pulls a CD case from his hoodie pocket. Opening the case, he pops the CD in and waits for it to start.
I sit on the edge of my bed, curiously waiting, a smile sitting on my face. When familiar music starts playing my smile turns in a grin and he grins back and holds his hand out, waiting for me to take it. I place my smaller hand in his larger one and he pulls me against him as the music fills the room. I smile and look up at him.
"How did you get this?"
"You forget I go to see you play all the time?" he smiles down at me as my recorded voice fills the room. He spins me and I laugh, remembering that he's the reason I wrote the song playing now.
Click to viewYou make me breakfast in bed when I'm mixed up in my head. You wake me with a kiss, I could get used to this. You think I look the best when my hair is a mess. I can't believe you exist, I could get used to this. Because I know you're too good to be true. I must have done something good to meet you.
I frown. I wrote this for Steve. I know how he feels about me and I feel the same, but now Grant is in the picture. I'm confused again. I don't know what to do. But with one twirl, its thrown from my head as me and Steve continue to dance.
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand. When I freak you understand. There is not a thing you miss and I could get used to this. I'm feeling it comin' over me. With you it all comes naturally. I lost the reflex to resist and I could get used to this. You love the songs I write. You like the movies I like. There must be some kind of twist but I could get used to this. Because you listen to me when I'm depressed. It doesn't seem to make you like me less.
I listen to the music as we dance. He twirls and spins me and dips me, making me feel dizzy. This is what I love about Steve. He makes me feel alive. Like I don't have to pretend. I can just be myself. My face is starting to hurt from smiling so much but I don't care. I'm having too much fun.
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand. When I freak you understand. There is not a thing you miss and I could get used to this. I'm feeling it comin' over me. With you it all comes naturally. I lost the reflex to resist and I could get used to this. If there's a dark side to you I haven't seen it. Every good thing you do feels like you mean it...'Cause you wrote my name across your hand. When I freak you understand. There is not a thing you miss and I could get used to this. I'm feeling it comin' over me. With you it all comes naturally. I lost the reflex to resist and I could get used to this.
Maybe I should be with Steve. We're basically the same person. We're both into the same things and I'm constantly thinking about him. Of course I feel the same way about Grant. Only thing is, he's old enough to be my father. AND he's my father's best friend. Would I be able to get past that?
Cause you wrote my name across your hand. When I freak you understand. There is not a thing you miss and I could get used to this. I'm feeling it comin' over me. With you it all comes naturally. I lost the reflex to resist and I could get used to this.
We stop dancing as the song starts to finish and I can feel him watching me. I look up at him, his smile reaching his eyes. I smile back at him, my thoughts forgotten. I bite my lower lip when he licks his lips. Leaning down he brushes his lips against mine.
"Told you I could cheer you up." He smiles, resting his forehead against mine.
I giggle and move closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He tightens his arms around my waist and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his torso and he spins us for a bit. I lean down and kiss him, a smile still formed on both our lips.
You make me breakfast in bed when I'm mixed up in my head. You wake me with a kiss and I could get used to this...
Everything I was confused about before is gone. And it feels as if the world was just ripped off my shoulders. It's Steve. There's no way around it. And just as I think everything is figured out, everything comes crashing back down on me as I look towards the door. My eyes widen in shock and I don't know what to say except...
"Hi Kris..."