why am i acting like this

[clleeanwash]

i am an extremely unhappy camper... ive been at bergen since 10:30 and have only one, not so impressive print to show for it. i had been sitting on the floor of C3 for about 30 minutes, then decided to wander up to the computer lab and check it out for the first time. this is not making me happy right now... and its not the fact that i procrastinated- because im not worried about time, im just not liking this at the moment- and "this" is much more than bergen. i need caffeine that wont make my head ache. i need those contact sheets of childhood memories that were never shot. i need someone to talk to. i need some human contact other than the occasional and accidental brush against a strangers arm. if it were possible to comfortably hug oneself, id be doing it right now. i said that i didnt need distraction today, but that is exactly what i need at this moment. if the light is on, dont even bother knocking- im just sitting on the floor unsuccessfully dissecting my tired brain.
...and i need some music that will strengthen my legs, and words to soften the pain in my jaw. dont wake me up when im sleeping in. its fucking cold in here. im rambling and mumbling and i need some hot chai tea.