Stained Glass Memories part 1

[cliodhna_z]

Title:  Stained Glass Memories part 1/?
Author Name:  Clio
Author Email:  igobyclio@gmail.com
Rating: Solid R
Notes:  It's been a while since I've written anything, so I'm stuck in the past trying to clear up some old ideas from Season 3. 
Disclaimer: They are so not mine. Cowlip and the good folks over at Showtime own them. No dishonor intended

Comments

My babblement

[anonymous]

I'm not going in to which character you prefer because it doesn't matter in your case anyway. You are one of rare authors who are objective to both of them without any problems.

For example, some authors, especially post 513, really like to present Justin as a greedy man.

*** Every time I walk by that one spot I can see him there. When he finally pulled himself up he looked ... lifeless. I'd broken him completely, beaten him harder with his rules than I ever could using my hands. And while 'happy' isn't the word I'd use to describe how I felt, I was satisfied with the outcome. Wasn't I the tough guy? It haunts me, just fucking haunts me. I can be a cruel person ... cruel to him, to Mikey and Lindz, to everyone, but that ... that ... was the pinnacle of cruelty. I inherited that brand of viciousness from Jack. It sickened me, but at the same time I was truly amazed. When did I make that kind of pain a sport? When did I become my father at his worst? ***

This paragraph reminds me of Myrna's If You Needed Me - part I'd Swim The Seas - the similar observation, thought. Then it was very subversive idea. I think it still is for some hard - core fans.

*** Yeah, I wanted to own him, but I didn't want to love him. ***

Very brave thought again, indeed.

I'm sorry I can't tell you more or at least more coherent, my English is not so rich as yours.

And, of course, I'm waiting for the next chapter (and another "rebel yell"!!!).

Eli

Re: My babblement

[cliodhna_z]

Eli,
Your comment was insightful and very coherent! And don't you worry, hon, your English is just fine. I haven't read any post 5-13 fanfic for exactly the reason you mentioned. Did I want them to go riding off into the sunset and live happily everafter? Of course I did, but the fact that they didn't really did present a truly honest portrayal of them. I don't think Justin's greedy and I find it appalling that writers will portray him in such a light.

I think Brian has a hard time loving. I think he's always waiting for someone to try to hurt him, he's been hurt so much in his life. I do think he wanted Justin there (post 2-19) but wasn't prepared to love him, couldn't face that thought, couldn't leave himself open for more pain. It was easier to "own" Justin in the sexual sense and let that act speak what his mouth couldn't. I don't think I'm making much sense now!

For the record, I'm a huge Brian fan, I love just love him ... bad judgment and all. He tries so hard to be a prick but so often he fails miserably. He loves his friends and considers them his family.

I'm working on the next part and will post to my journal and BJFic journal when it's ready.

Thank you so much, Eli. I loved your comment!