(no subject)

[clio]

i have been sleeping in a room with no windows for the past two months. i think it is doing something strange to my psyche. i've been having the most vivd dreams. some are frighteningly real--and most are just down right frightening. i had a dream last week about justin and i going skydiving and i was so scared on the plane, and he kept saying 'you're going to be fine, everythings going to be fine', so i was strapped to someone but he was jumping alone. we fell through the sky for what seemed like hours, and all of a sudden i was jolted back up into the air by my parachutte deploying and watched justin keep falling and falling untill he became so small i couldn't see him anymore. i knew that he had fallen to his death. when we finally reached the ground i saw that where justin had fallen had created these fissures in the earth all around him and lava was bubbling and spurting out of them...it was like he was on this little island of land in a molten sea, and i couldn't get to him. just as the lava started to cover his body the pheonix on his belly came to life and looked straight at me and then flew away just as the lava took him over. i had this strange sense of peace. and then it ended. i woke up and realized that it was 11 am---that i had gotten 11 hours of sleep. 
i'm telling you that sleeping in this room is doing strange things to me. and my body's rhythm is all outa-whack too! i started bleeding a week and a half early, and i haven't had cramps this bad in a long time. I NEED MOONLIGHT in my life! its going to be the exact opposit durring camp--i'll be outside all the time, plenty of sunlight, plenty of moonlight, plenty of exercise. it will be so good for me.

its nice to write in here again.