(no subject)
From an e-mail i sent a few days ago to the people with whom i went on the Mission of Peace to Nicaragua.
Hello all you little rays of light,
its been a long time sense i have made contact with you all. I love reading the e-mails sent by everyone, and i thought that now would be a very good time to finally share with you what i have been experiencing in my life sense i saw you last.
Right now i live in Asheville North Carolina. right in the heart of the blueridge mountains. It is so beautiful here, especially as we are going into leaf season. I am constantly surrrounded by nature and it feeds my soul daily. I am going to the North Carolina School of Natural Healing to become a massage therapist, but more, a healer. It is a spirit-based education that resonates very deeply with me.
why i am choosing now as the time to reconnect with all of you is that i had a very profound spiritual experience this week that really brought me back into the heart God, and i don't think that i have felt this way sense our experience together in (love of my heart) Nicaragua.
i have always been on a spiritual journey, but sense our time together i went through a very important stage of that journey.
The breaking away.
or at least what i thought to be the breaking away. I am not sure how it came to be or what triggered it, i suppose it was the sum total of what was going on in my life. But i think that it is/was a very important stage of my journey. I remember that after i got back from Nicaragua, I would sit in church and not feel anything. that joyous bounty of love that i had known and experienced so many times in my life wasn't there anymore. when i would go, i felt hollow and empty. There wasnt that devine bursting within me anymore. And slowly at first, and then very rapidly, i broke away from the church. i cut myself off from what i percieved as god. none of it really touched me anymore. I moved to Boston and spent a good portion of my time there under the influence of alcohol. living in a daze of smoke rings and jack and cokes. i had a great time and met very interesting people who, as i realize now, began to foster a change in my way of looking at. well. everything. i started to develop the awarness of energy. i dabbled in readings of Buddhism and exestential philosophy. transcendentalism. mystic shamanism. (but i did not associate them with what i had previously known of as God.) And there began to be this resonance with my soul again. if i thought of everything in terms of energy and karma then i felt that wholeness and love that i had felt with God. A phrase finally surfaced in my awarness that "put it all together" for me-- ALL ONE. i am everything and everything is me. there is no seperation. Scientifically, Nothing can eaither be created or destroyed. in rumi's words, "how can wetness leave water?". i thought about this (am still thinking about this) and things began to be very clear to me. At that point in my external life i was leaving boston after a hard breakup with someone who i had really loved, who was a main facilitator of my experiences with energy. i knew that i wanted to be a healer and that there was something about that phrase, All One, that stregnthened it. I was reading many books and excerpts from books that all seemed to be pointing me in this direction. All the people i met as well. the weather. EVERYTHING. I moved here to Asheville and all those coincidences kept getting stronger and stronger untill i finally started school. The culmination of all of that reading and feeling and energy finally came to a point. a concentrated potent form of it all. Everything that i had been reading and feeling all there in one room. but in my mind, even with that phrase ALL ONE constantly repeating in my consciousness, i didn't associate it with "God".
And then this week something amazing happened.
(i'm starting to cry)
In my energy studies class my teacher Tasha was doing a demonstration of a face massage incorporating affermations that she would normally say in her heart/head outloud. We had been working on positive thinking and affermations like "i am at peace with myself and with the world", "i am a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, i have a right to be here", so on and so fourth.
and so as she was demonstrating this face massage she was saying these things outloud to the kaitlin, who she was massaging. and what ended up comming out of Tasha was "you are a child of God", "you are a beautiful child of god". And all of a sudden i FELT IT! I felt that beautiful devine bursting withing myself that was GOD!!! I couldn't believe that it had been that long sense i had felt it. After the massage was over our entire class (of 12) was so emotional. we were all a crying beautiful mess. And tasha told us a story about an irish woman once telling her as she was giving a face massage, "T'is the face of God you hold, T'is the face of God you hold in your hands."....and of course as shes telling me this i'm just a crying wreck.
EVERYTHING MADE SENSE
I didn't have to seperate what i had previously known of God from energy or from myself. And the phrase ALL ONE finally made true sense! God is all those things that i had been reading and feeling. God isn't seperate from myself. Everything really is ALL ONE.
AND WE ARE ALL GOD.
ohhhhhhhhh, and that loving calming powerful, moving God is finally back in my life.
AND I AM SO HAPPY!
Amen.
thankyou for reading this, it really means a lot to be sharing it with all of you sense this feeling was so poerful with all of you in our heartland Nicaragua. It feels so good to be back in the heart of God with all of you.
I feel like the sunshine after a long winter saying "I'MMMMM BAAAAACK!!!".
I am sending you all my love and energy, and can't wait to here from you all again.
Enjoy The autum in its beautiful sun-dance of color!
Dios te Bendiga!
my heart,
Anne Cottrill
Hello all you little rays of light,
its been a long time sense i have made contact with you all. I love reading the e-mails sent by everyone, and i thought that now would be a very good time to finally share with you what i have been experiencing in my life sense i saw you last.
Right now i live in Asheville North Carolina. right in the heart of the blueridge mountains. It is so beautiful here, especially as we are going into leaf season. I am constantly surrrounded by nature and it feeds my soul daily. I am going to the North Carolina School of Natural Healing to become a massage therapist, but more, a healer. It is a spirit-based education that resonates very deeply with me.
why i am choosing now as the time to reconnect with all of you is that i had a very profound spiritual experience this week that really brought me back into the heart God, and i don't think that i have felt this way sense our experience together in (love of my heart) Nicaragua.
i have always been on a spiritual journey, but sense our time together i went through a very important stage of that journey.
The breaking away.
or at least what i thought to be the breaking away. I am not sure how it came to be or what triggered it, i suppose it was the sum total of what was going on in my life. But i think that it is/was a very important stage of my journey. I remember that after i got back from Nicaragua, I would sit in church and not feel anything. that joyous bounty of love that i had known and experienced so many times in my life wasn't there anymore. when i would go, i felt hollow and empty. There wasnt that devine bursting within me anymore. And slowly at first, and then very rapidly, i broke away from the church. i cut myself off from what i percieved as god. none of it really touched me anymore. I moved to Boston and spent a good portion of my time there under the influence of alcohol. living in a daze of smoke rings and jack and cokes. i had a great time and met very interesting people who, as i realize now, began to foster a change in my way of looking at. well. everything. i started to develop the awarness of energy. i dabbled in readings of Buddhism and exestential philosophy. transcendentalism. mystic shamanism. (but i did not associate them with what i had previously known of as God.) And there began to be this resonance with my soul again. if i thought of everything in terms of energy and karma then i felt that wholeness and love that i had felt with God. A phrase finally surfaced in my awarness that "put it all together" for me-- ALL ONE. i am everything and everything is me. there is no seperation. Scientifically, Nothing can eaither be created or destroyed. in rumi's words, "how can wetness leave water?". i thought about this (am still thinking about this) and things began to be very clear to me. At that point in my external life i was leaving boston after a hard breakup with someone who i had really loved, who was a main facilitator of my experiences with energy. i knew that i wanted to be a healer and that there was something about that phrase, All One, that stregnthened it. I was reading many books and excerpts from books that all seemed to be pointing me in this direction. All the people i met as well. the weather. EVERYTHING. I moved here to Asheville and all those coincidences kept getting stronger and stronger untill i finally started school. The culmination of all of that reading and feeling and energy finally came to a point. a concentrated potent form of it all. Everything that i had been reading and feeling all there in one room. but in my mind, even with that phrase ALL ONE constantly repeating in my consciousness, i didn't associate it with "God".
And then this week something amazing happened.
(i'm starting to cry)
In my energy studies class my teacher Tasha was doing a demonstration of a face massage incorporating affermations that she would normally say in her heart/head outloud. We had been working on positive thinking and affermations like "i am at peace with myself and with the world", "i am a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, i have a right to be here", so on and so fourth.
and so as she was demonstrating this face massage she was saying these things outloud to the kaitlin, who she was massaging. and what ended up comming out of Tasha was "you are a child of God", "you are a beautiful child of god". And all of a sudden i FELT IT! I felt that beautiful devine bursting withing myself that was GOD!!! I couldn't believe that it had been that long sense i had felt it. After the massage was over our entire class (of 12) was so emotional. we were all a crying beautiful mess. And tasha told us a story about an irish woman once telling her as she was giving a face massage, "T'is the face of God you hold, T'is the face of God you hold in your hands."....and of course as shes telling me this i'm just a crying wreck.
EVERYTHING MADE SENSE
I didn't have to seperate what i had previously known of God from energy or from myself. And the phrase ALL ONE finally made true sense! God is all those things that i had been reading and feeling. God isn't seperate from myself. Everything really is ALL ONE.
AND WE ARE ALL GOD.
ohhhhhhhhh, and that loving calming powerful, moving God is finally back in my life.
AND I AM SO HAPPY!
Amen.
thankyou for reading this, it really means a lot to be sharing it with all of you sense this feeling was so poerful with all of you in our heartland Nicaragua. It feels so good to be back in the heart of God with all of you.
I feel like the sunshine after a long winter saying "I'MMMMM BAAAAACK!!!".
I am sending you all my love and energy, and can't wait to here from you all again.
Enjoy The autum in its beautiful sun-dance of color!
Dios te Bendiga!
my heart,
Anne Cottrill