Victerracouverfax revisited.
OH HAI LIVEJOURNAL. Apparently I only write in you when I am having life crisis times? Yes, apparently so.
New crisis, about which many of you have probably already heard in bits or pieces: I am maybe-probably-yes.i.am going to be moving back to Victoria at the end of February. Gasps! It's weird...the idea only sort of hit me last Thursday, when I walked out of my massage appointment to find my bike stolen (thus negating positive effects of massage? Probably). My gut instinctat that point was "FUCK THIS. I'M DONE." After I'd calmed down a bit I knew that was silly - I don't want to bail on Vancouver just because it's been giving me a hard time... Yes, I've had a string of bad luck since I've arrived here, but bad luck can happen anywhere and it really isn't Vancouver's fault that I've developed a repetitive strain injury, been hit by a car, and had my bike stolen since September. It isn't really this city's fault that I've been to visit medical professionals more often in five months here than I did in five YEARS in Victoria. It's circumstantial (although, okay, maybe the circumstance is Vancouver). But I mean, all of that is lame, but it isn't a good reason to pack up my toys and leave the sandbox, if you see what I mean.
But then again...once the idea seed was planted, it gained a life of it's own and blossomed pretty incredibly. Even discounting Vancouver being mean to me, it makes SENSE for me to move back to Victoria. What am I doing here? My move to Vancouver was a movement AWAY from my previous life rather than TOWARD anything specific. I'm glad I came here - I've learned a lot, I've had valuable experiences, and I would have been miserable and regretful if I'd stayed in Victoria in the fall. But now? I'm barely making enough money to live on; I've got a mediocre job; I'm singing SECOND ALTO in a choir in RICHMOND. Mostly though, my boy is in Victoria. Now, that was an accident. It wasn't supposed to happen. But it HAS happened, and I feel just so frustrated and redundant to have Tyler be there and me be here, especially when there is nothing really keeping me here. You know? We spent 2 and a half YEARS in a long distance relationship before, and I just can't do it again. I want to be in a real live adult relationship, or not be in it at all. And I *do* think it's worth pursuing, and so I think I need to be in Victoria to do it.
Does that make sense? Blaugh. And moving sucks, but I don't think uprooting myself will be that hard. Tyler has relatives with trucks, and I have enough money to move myself. I should be able to find a job in Victoria at least as good as this one, I can rejoin Prima, I can rockclimb with L and S, and I can live with Tyler or with Jenni (Jenni - jury's still out on this one... I will let you know by the end of this month one way or t'other!). Vancouver puts me on edge, and I know it's lame, but I miss my comfort zone. ESPECIALLY since come September I will definitely be moving far away and starting off from scratch in a whole new environment. It would be really nice to enter into that prospect fresh from some time in a place I know, rather than having struggled to make ends meet in Vancouver for a year, feeling as though the city were my adversary all the while. That isn't any fun, y'know?
There are things I will miss about this place. I have enjoyed living on my own. I like my coworkers. I love the seawall. I love Cayley and Tyra and Anne, and I will definitely miss doing Greek and watching strange British tv shows with Tristan. There aren't cheap Persian restaurants in Victoria. And moving sucks, and job hunting sucks. But all in all, the more I think about it the more I really think that the pros of this plan outweigh the cons by a considerable margin.
I miss my boy. I miss my people I miss my place. I want to come home.
New crisis, about which many of you have probably already heard in bits or pieces: I am maybe-probably-yes.i.am going to be moving back to Victoria at the end of February. Gasps! It's weird...the idea only sort of hit me last Thursday, when I walked out of my massage appointment to find my bike stolen (thus negating positive effects of massage? Probably). My gut instinctat that point was "FUCK THIS. I'M DONE." After I'd calmed down a bit I knew that was silly - I don't want to bail on Vancouver just because it's been giving me a hard time... Yes, I've had a string of bad luck since I've arrived here, but bad luck can happen anywhere and it really isn't Vancouver's fault that I've developed a repetitive strain injury, been hit by a car, and had my bike stolen since September. It isn't really this city's fault that I've been to visit medical professionals more often in five months here than I did in five YEARS in Victoria. It's circumstantial (although, okay, maybe the circumstance is Vancouver). But I mean, all of that is lame, but it isn't a good reason to pack up my toys and leave the sandbox, if you see what I mean.
But then again...once the idea seed was planted, it gained a life of it's own and blossomed pretty incredibly. Even discounting Vancouver being mean to me, it makes SENSE for me to move back to Victoria. What am I doing here? My move to Vancouver was a movement AWAY from my previous life rather than TOWARD anything specific. I'm glad I came here - I've learned a lot, I've had valuable experiences, and I would have been miserable and regretful if I'd stayed in Victoria in the fall. But now? I'm barely making enough money to live on; I've got a mediocre job; I'm singing SECOND ALTO in a choir in RICHMOND. Mostly though, my boy is in Victoria. Now, that was an accident. It wasn't supposed to happen. But it HAS happened, and I feel just so frustrated and redundant to have Tyler be there and me be here, especially when there is nothing really keeping me here. You know? We spent 2 and a half YEARS in a long distance relationship before, and I just can't do it again. I want to be in a real live adult relationship, or not be in it at all. And I *do* think it's worth pursuing, and so I think I need to be in Victoria to do it.
Does that make sense? Blaugh. And moving sucks, but I don't think uprooting myself will be that hard. Tyler has relatives with trucks, and I have enough money to move myself. I should be able to find a job in Victoria at least as good as this one, I can rejoin Prima, I can rockclimb with L and S, and I can live with Tyler or with Jenni (Jenni - jury's still out on this one... I will let you know by the end of this month one way or t'other!). Vancouver puts me on edge, and I know it's lame, but I miss my comfort zone. ESPECIALLY since come September I will definitely be moving far away and starting off from scratch in a whole new environment. It would be really nice to enter into that prospect fresh from some time in a place I know, rather than having struggled to make ends meet in Vancouver for a year, feeling as though the city were my adversary all the while. That isn't any fun, y'know?
There are things I will miss about this place. I have enjoyed living on my own. I like my coworkers. I love the seawall. I love Cayley and Tyra and Anne, and I will definitely miss doing Greek and watching strange British tv shows with Tristan. There aren't cheap Persian restaurants in Victoria. And moving sucks, and job hunting sucks. But all in all, the more I think about it the more I really think that the pros of this plan outweigh the cons by a considerable margin.
I miss my boy. I miss my people I miss my place. I want to come home.