Hardcore Academic Under-achievment Disorder
I've always thought that I had a lot to say, but now that I'm faced with this giant blank space, I'm filled with a bit of foreboding. I swore some time ago that I would never indulge in creating a blog. My reasons were varied and numerous. Now that it comes to it, I'm not sure I can call too many of them to mind. It makes me think of The Neverending Story (the second movie, if I'm not mistaken). The poor protagonist, if my ancient film-viewing memories serve, slowly had his memories taken, much to his loss and the loss of his friends. I'm certain that at least a number of my uncertainties revolved around the notion that keeping up an online journal would be a waste of time. I am spending time writing here when perhaps I should not be, but does that constitute a loss? Another of my concerns involved the underlying motivation for creating such a log. (I guess I haven't forgotten my misgivings afterall. Damn.) I think that most people create blogs for the sake of self-esteem. They want to be noticed, to give vent to internal frustrations, which for some reason are partially alleviated through their being projected across the web. People want comments, want others to take notice of their personal, daily minutiae. There are other reasons, but I'm tired of harping.
The question stands: Why am I creating a blog? (Why am I asking why I'm writing? [Why ask why? Drink Bud dry...]) I think, in short, it's because I give in. Does that make sense? Is that right? A good number of my friends have blogs. Maybe I got bored. Maybe I'm just procrastinating because I have a 10-page philosophy paper which I have very little desire (in fact, an extreme aversion) to writing. I want to vent my creative angst. I would like it to entertain. I really do have a desire to share. I feel like I've been cooped up. It strikes me now that perhaps nobody will ever read this. It also strikes me that perhaps I'm failing to entertain my audience. I better hurry up and shut up, or put in some cute kitten pictures or something to that effect.
I think everyone wants to hear that they're a valid, valuable, interesting human being. Perhaps I was averse to starting a blog because I didn't want to feel like I needed someone else's approval for me to feel validated. Perhaps I was afraid that I would get an answer in the negative. Okay, without further ado, a fuzzy kitten:
I'm not sure what else to write at the present moment. We'll drop this one down the well first and see if it goes splash.