Sooooo what
this all comes to you live after a night of way too much guitar and poison's "every rose has its thorns." I really like that song, it completely describes how i feel right now and let me tell you all, i am a complete mess. I am having nightmares, well not really nightmares like im being stabbed or chased by a guy with a chainsaw but like scenes from my life that i know can happen. Like these are real things that i know i can't take. One was that my grandmother died and i woke up shaking and trembling like a epileptic. I feel like i know what is going on. There is so much in my life going on that i just dont like, stuff that i just can't do and im trying to hide all of these feelings with alcohol. But i dont want to anymore. Because they are surfacing stronger than ever.
Stephanie yelled at me last week becuase she said that i was talking about heather too much. I know she was just trying to help in her own way. It just pisses me off because everyone thinks that it should be soooo fucking easy for me to get over this girl, but the problem is that i can never get any distance from her. She is always fucking there and it makes it so hard. And come on we all fucking know how i obsess about things that i can't have. I begin to idolize every single part of whatever it is but when i get it i find it a let down. I dunno, its just so crazy to know that someone tears you up every single time you see them and they feel nothing, they just are rock solid. They are fine, they have completely moved on. I dunno its just wierd to know that i guess. I guess im easy to forget, i dunno just something to think about. again poison "every rose has its thorn."
i wish i had faith like other people. I dunno, i just can't latch on to a god who lets all this bad stuff happen to good people.
Sorry achilles that i nixed the binge drinking entry
Stephanie yelled at me last week becuase she said that i was talking about heather too much. I know she was just trying to help in her own way. It just pisses me off because everyone thinks that it should be soooo fucking easy for me to get over this girl, but the problem is that i can never get any distance from her. She is always fucking there and it makes it so hard. And come on we all fucking know how i obsess about things that i can't have. I begin to idolize every single part of whatever it is but when i get it i find it a let down. I dunno, its just so crazy to know that someone tears you up every single time you see them and they feel nothing, they just are rock solid. They are fine, they have completely moved on. I dunno its just wierd to know that i guess. I guess im easy to forget, i dunno just something to think about. again poison "every rose has its thorn."
i wish i had faith like other people. I dunno, i just can't latch on to a god who lets all this bad stuff happen to good people.
Sorry achilles that i nixed the binge drinking entry