Party Post 3: My Side....
Well howdy doody guys! I would like to start this latest journal entry by thanking everyone who came to the apartment for the party. That was definately worth all the waiting and planning! Honorable mentions go to Matt, Jen, and Billy Nascar for putting up with, dealing with, hanging out with, drinking with, and entertaining everyone. I appreciate you guys for letting us use your facilities. Other honorable mentions go to Scott and Delilah for actually coming all the way from Pensacola just to say hi and give me one of the best presents I got this weekend! Thanks guys!
If you have read Billy 300.0's post you pretty much know what went down, with some minor adjustments of course...
For all those who aren't in the know, (Billy was one of the people in the dark) the strawberries that Jess, he and I ate...yeah those have been soaking in pure 100% moonshine for the past couple years. Welcome to the South, Billy! Hope you enjoyed it! Okay next order of business is the beer bong Billy took and the prank that started it all. Hey Billy? Did you ever think about why nobody else took a drink outta that beer bong? Well I'll let you in on a secret...Nathan is a plumber by trade and that "beer bong" was a tool that he uses to unclog pipes. He hadn't cleaned it before usage if you get my drift...in other words along with that beer you probably had a shot of Drano, at the very least, with it. Probably had some human fecal matter in there with it from what I'm told. Well that being put aside, I'm glad you're still alive dude! =P For that, yeah you win......pfft!
However Billy, me an' you need to put it through Matt's head what a drinking challenge is supposed to be. You see Matt, you might have "given" me the win, but you see, even though you were a lot more sober than I was, it's all about the ratio. As far as I was concerned, you were out during that first game of California Kings. Sure you drank the cup, but shit dude you sipped on it for at least 15-20 minutes! While you were doing sipping on that cup (which as I recall as soon as you tried to take that first gulp you almost spit it right back out) I was doing Keg Stands and eating infernal Cap'n Crunch Berries from the inner most core of Hell. And after that I wasn't sure what you were drinking, but I assure you it wasn't even close to the amount me and Billy consumed. So you see? It's not about who can stay sober the longest, shit you can just NOT DRINK and win. It's about who can drink the most and live to tell about it, it's about who can drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and then NOT throw up or be poisoned. And then after that if you're still standing, yet refuse to drink anymore...you lose. Billy, you lose. Matt you lost within the first hour of the shin-dig. Who's the winner? I'll tell ya. It's Shawn. YOU RULE!! I swear to God that kid can drink like a fish! Hey nobody said it would be fun, but it is a DRINIKING challenge, not "princess tea party where you drink outta your bitch sippy cup until you feel a little light-headed".And it's definately not a "let's see how much I can drink and then play this game of Fuck You until I lose and then not drink" Dammit Billy, we used to have a friend named Bob that did that once...we killed him and dumped his ass in the toilet. You are his replacement...Yeah you drank the most (by a little. When you left I was still drinking and so was Matt, even though it was a sippy cup filled with something woman-like). But yeah, Shawn wins. So.....party was good. 'Nuff said =P
If you have read Billy 300.0's post you pretty much know what went down, with some minor adjustments of course...
For all those who aren't in the know, (Billy was one of the people in the dark) the strawberries that Jess, he and I ate...yeah those have been soaking in pure 100% moonshine for the past couple years. Welcome to the South, Billy! Hope you enjoyed it! Okay next order of business is the beer bong Billy took and the prank that started it all. Hey Billy? Did you ever think about why nobody else took a drink outta that beer bong? Well I'll let you in on a secret...Nathan is a plumber by trade and that "beer bong" was a tool that he uses to unclog pipes. He hadn't cleaned it before usage if you get my drift...in other words along with that beer you probably had a shot of Drano, at the very least, with it. Probably had some human fecal matter in there with it from what I'm told. Well that being put aside, I'm glad you're still alive dude! =P For that, yeah you win......pfft!
However Billy, me an' you need to put it through Matt's head what a drinking challenge is supposed to be. You see Matt, you might have "given" me the win, but you see, even though you were a lot more sober than I was, it's all about the ratio. As far as I was concerned, you were out during that first game of California Kings. Sure you drank the cup, but shit dude you sipped on it for at least 15-20 minutes! While you were doing sipping on that cup (which as I recall as soon as you tried to take that first gulp you almost spit it right back out) I was doing Keg Stands and eating infernal Cap'n Crunch Berries from the inner most core of Hell. And after that I wasn't sure what you were drinking, but I assure you it wasn't even close to the amount me and Billy consumed. So you see? It's not about who can stay sober the longest, shit you can just NOT DRINK and win. It's about who can drink the most and live to tell about it, it's about who can drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and then NOT throw up or be poisoned. And then after that if you're still standing, yet refuse to drink anymore...you lose. Billy, you lose. Matt you lost within the first hour of the shin-dig. Who's the winner? I'll tell ya. It's Shawn. YOU RULE!! I swear to God that kid can drink like a fish! Hey nobody said it would be fun, but it is a DRINIKING challenge, not "princess tea party where you drink outta your bitch sippy cup until you feel a little light-headed".And it's definately not a "let's see how much I can drink and then play this game of Fuck You until I lose and then not drink" Dammit Billy, we used to have a friend named Bob that did that once...we killed him and dumped his ass in the toilet. You are his replacement...Yeah you drank the most (by a little. When you left I was still drinking and so was Matt, even though it was a sippy cup filled with something woman-like). But yeah, Shawn wins. So.....party was good. 'Nuff said =P