Random Shithead-edness!
I'm going straight to hell....does it bother anyone that I know this yet I really don't care? I swear I got the biggest laugh last night at the expense of another. Let me expand the horizons of those who don't know "Cliff's random evil hatred".
I'm at Papa John's working. Well, sort of...it was really slow and and there was nothing really to do and I had already had a shitty day. So there's this messed up order on the heat racks and people are eating it. Like vultures. Vultures to a dead fucking carcass. Anyway, moving right along. I have actually found THE most annoying thing to do to people. It's something so simple, yet so dastardly, that people literally lose control of all thought and proceed to spontaniously combust....or worse. Have you been minding your own business, you know fiddling with something (no Matt, not that...jeez) or reading something, maybe even writing something, when out of nowhere.....here comes Cliff to the rescue! BAM! Whatever you were just holding, a pen, a book, or whatever boring thing you just had, not anything expensive mind you..or anything that could break, now rests at your feet. And you just feel so utterly...VIOLATED, that someone has done this to your precious...thing. BOOM! You explode into a whirlwind of hatred for me, for taking that control that you THOUGHT you had over such a simple object, and molesting it.....I'm sorry. I'm rambling.
Anyway, so there's this girl....eating a slice of this pizza. This FREE pizza that, you know, doesn't cost anything to replace. When all of a sudden,...SLAP! Out of her control, and onto the floor. Followed by the hideous hyena-laugh coming out of a pizza filled mouth...mine.
I've never seen anyone cry because of this random bafoonery. I pleasured me so. The laugh became a hellish mix hilarity and taunting. Then this girl started to claim that the pizza sauce had burned her arm. BURNED HER ARM. THE PIZZA SHE WAS JUST CRAMMING INTO HER LITTLE MOUTH NOW IS NOW SO SCORCHING HOT....that it burned her arm. Her tears of sorrow and "pain" have now transformed into my tears of joy and laughter. It is now uncontrollable river of happiness coming from my horrid face. I couldn't stand any longer. I actually fell to the floor holding my gut, my pizza-filled, jolly stomach, while she RUNS home crying. Yes she actually ran home.
I'm going straight to Hell. But I'll be laughing all the way there....
I'm at Papa John's working. Well, sort of...it was really slow and and there was nothing really to do and I had already had a shitty day. So there's this messed up order on the heat racks and people are eating it. Like vultures. Vultures to a dead fucking carcass. Anyway, moving right along. I have actually found THE most annoying thing to do to people. It's something so simple, yet so dastardly, that people literally lose control of all thought and proceed to spontaniously combust....or worse. Have you been minding your own business, you know fiddling with something (no Matt, not that...jeez) or reading something, maybe even writing something, when out of nowhere.....here comes Cliff to the rescue! BAM! Whatever you were just holding, a pen, a book, or whatever boring thing you just had, not anything expensive mind you..or anything that could break, now rests at your feet. And you just feel so utterly...VIOLATED, that someone has done this to your precious...thing. BOOM! You explode into a whirlwind of hatred for me, for taking that control that you THOUGHT you had over such a simple object, and molesting it.....I'm sorry. I'm rambling.
Anyway, so there's this girl....eating a slice of this pizza. This FREE pizza that, you know, doesn't cost anything to replace. When all of a sudden,...SLAP! Out of her control, and onto the floor. Followed by the hideous hyena-laugh coming out of a pizza filled mouth...mine.
I've never seen anyone cry because of this random bafoonery. I pleasured me so. The laugh became a hellish mix hilarity and taunting. Then this girl started to claim that the pizza sauce had burned her arm. BURNED HER ARM. THE PIZZA SHE WAS JUST CRAMMING INTO HER LITTLE MOUTH NOW IS NOW SO SCORCHING HOT....that it burned her arm. Her tears of sorrow and "pain" have now transformed into my tears of joy and laughter. It is now uncontrollable river of happiness coming from my horrid face. I couldn't stand any longer. I actually fell to the floor holding my gut, my pizza-filled, jolly stomach, while she RUNS home crying. Yes she actually ran home.
I'm going straight to Hell. But I'll be laughing all the way there....