99
Back in 2011, I wrote,
"Sometimes you got to smile and walk away, hold your tears in, and pretend you’re okay."
And today, this still resonates with me. How long more do I have to hold it back, how long more do I have to pretend that I am okay, and how long more do I have to keep smiling when that is not how I truly feel?
I am not sure if it's the external pressure that I am facing, or the pressure that I am giving myself. People don't go from 0 to 100 straightaway. They have been holding on with their damn life at 99 for the longest time and when they finally snap, people are nothing but surprised.
I'm at 99 for as long as I can remember. I am trying bloody hard to keep calm and stay positive. And it feels like I'm trying to turn a pail of black paint into white.
I can't hold out much longer.
"Sometimes you got to smile and walk away, hold your tears in, and pretend you’re okay."
And today, this still resonates with me. How long more do I have to hold it back, how long more do I have to pretend that I am okay, and how long more do I have to keep smiling when that is not how I truly feel?
I am not sure if it's the external pressure that I am facing, or the pressure that I am giving myself. People don't go from 0 to 100 straightaway. They have been holding on with their damn life at 99 for the longest time and when they finally snap, people are nothing but surprised.
I'm at 99 for as long as I can remember. I am trying bloody hard to keep calm and stay positive. And it feels like I'm trying to turn a pail of black paint into white.
I can't hold out much longer.