What dreams become...
There was a time in my life where I would rarely dream. I would wake up and it was just blackness. I wouldn’t be able to remember a thing if I did ever dream. Now I dream every night. The problem I have is that my dreams are not only very intricate and vivid, but also very unsettling. I really don’t know what to make of them. I used to post up a description of these dreams because they used to happen only every so often but nowadays it’s every night that I have these crazy dreams. I have no clue what to do about it though. I’m stuck in this position where I’m trying to get more sleep and get into a better sleep schedule but I’m also dreading sleep for the images and concepts that it throws at me.
The other thing that has been bothering me is that I have been a lot more short-fused and easily frustrated lately. The odd thing is that I don’t want to be pissed. I just want to be happy and laugh things off, but I don’t. I will let little things pull me into putting effort towards being angry. This also is making me want to be more anti-social. I really hate being this way. It frustrates me to be angry at people over small stuff, particularly when it is with my friends. I don’t know for sure what is going on, but I have a suspicion that the above two might be related, though no guarantees.
I was really finding it this morning after another really bad dream I woke up and saw that I not only woke up a little late (not too late though) because I had not set my alarm correctly, but that I had missed a call from Sierra last night. When I woke up and checked my phone seeing that I missed a call from Sierra, I threw the phone across the room. I don’t know what happened. It pissed me off so much that I missed her call when I would be able to talk to her today. I’ll be seeing her in a couple days. There wasn’t anything important I wanted to say to her so it shouldn’t be a big deal. What the hell is going on? I’ll have to take some time to reflect on this and figure it out. I’ll also have to actively think about when I’m get angry so that I can ensure that I can concentrate on squashing those thoughts at that moment and not letting them blossom.