moment of clarity
"i don't bite my tongue as often as i swallow my laugh"
i don't always feel like i have much to say these days. yet it seems like the stream of things that runs through my mind is even more rampant, even more continuous, even more infinite than it has been in the past. i run into things and i smell deja vu. i feel like i've had snibbets of conversations with people but can't remember when. the right combination of a person and/or a place and/or an event and/or a thing and/or etc is just what you need to create a certain sense - i get that a lot lately - i've been here before, this is what i've felt before, but can't quite say how or why. not in a general sense. specific, like K&F w/josh and gina, or beach-house alcohol. it's weird. maybe that's what "growing up" is; establishing a group of core feelings through your experiences and then getting ready to process the rest of your life with them. maybe that's why love catches some people so off-guard. maybe that's why people who have done a greater variety of things with their lives in a shorter amount of time appear more wise, mature, or knowledgable than those who've done less with the same time. maybe that's why old people sit on their rockers without a frown or smile - since they've seen it all before, they just keep watching for entertainment.
not to say i'm an old man. i mean, i am, in a dry wit sort of sense, but with regards to life experiences, i'm still "down in it." I dig what's going on, what I'm doing, and the fact that all my closest peeps are home from college/out of school, and that adds to the adventures. lots to do, I just think a lot.
i don't feel very surprised. this usually means it's coming for me soon, or my life is over and it's time to find the rocking chair.
i don't always feel like i have much to say these days. yet it seems like the stream of things that runs through my mind is even more rampant, even more continuous, even more infinite than it has been in the past. i run into things and i smell deja vu. i feel like i've had snibbets of conversations with people but can't remember when. the right combination of a person and/or a place and/or an event and/or a thing and/or etc is just what you need to create a certain sense - i get that a lot lately - i've been here before, this is what i've felt before, but can't quite say how or why. not in a general sense. specific, like K&F w/josh and gina, or beach-house alcohol. it's weird. maybe that's what "growing up" is; establishing a group of core feelings through your experiences and then getting ready to process the rest of your life with them. maybe that's why love catches some people so off-guard. maybe that's why people who have done a greater variety of things with their lives in a shorter amount of time appear more wise, mature, or knowledgable than those who've done less with the same time. maybe that's why old people sit on their rockers without a frown or smile - since they've seen it all before, they just keep watching for entertainment.
not to say i'm an old man. i mean, i am, in a dry wit sort of sense, but with regards to life experiences, i'm still "down in it." I dig what's going on, what I'm doing, and the fact that all my closest peeps are home from college/out of school, and that adds to the adventures. lots to do, I just think a lot.
i don't feel very surprised. this usually means it's coming for me soon, or my life is over and it's time to find the rocking chair.