Funeral
So yesterday was the wierdest day ever. It was the day of my grandfather's funeral which was sooo hard. I sang "Be Not Afraid", "Here I am Lord", "On Eagle's Wings", and "Amazing Grace"....Amazing Grace was really something...we were in St. John's in Peabody and the acoustics were amazing and I had a mic and was in the choir loft behind every1 so my whole family said it was like an angel singing because it was dead silent in the church except me singing. I felt it too...powerful stuff when you know every1 is finally succumbing to the emotions theyve been bottling up inside since they lost a loved one because you're giving them an outlet for it. I wouldnt have been able to get through it if they were all in front of me because I love my family sooo much and they were hurting and it just tears me apart. But I was behind them and Im glad I did it because I felt like I did what i needed to for my grandfather and my grandmother...like I did the best thing i could do that wasnt just sitting and crying alongside every1.
Only problem is, when i went down from the loft to walk out to the procession with my family and they started to wheel the casket out i fell to pieces. It was like reliving my grandmother's death too and seeing every1 crying around me...i couldnt hold that in. So i was basically a wreck for the rest of the afternoon. At the cemetary I was a mess and they played taps and gave the flag to my grandmother (my grandfather served during Vietnam) and that was really really hard to bear...we were all a mess. Then we lay roses on the casket and from just the way we were standing, after my grandma put her rose on, my uncle and mom did and hten i did and the grandkids had orange roses and mine was the first to be lain and that symbolism meant a lot to me because I had the deepest, and longest, connection with my grandfather cuz by birth im the oldest. So yeah killer morning...
But it meant a lot because Becky came. As soon as she heard that I needed sum1 she was there to take care of me for the entire morning and sat by me while i sang and came to the cemetary. I needed her and she was there and I cant say how much that meant.
Only problem is, when i went down from the loft to walk out to the procession with my family and they started to wheel the casket out i fell to pieces. It was like reliving my grandmother's death too and seeing every1 crying around me...i couldnt hold that in. So i was basically a wreck for the rest of the afternoon. At the cemetary I was a mess and they played taps and gave the flag to my grandmother (my grandfather served during Vietnam) and that was really really hard to bear...we were all a mess. Then we lay roses on the casket and from just the way we were standing, after my grandma put her rose on, my uncle and mom did and hten i did and the grandkids had orange roses and mine was the first to be lain and that symbolism meant a lot to me because I had the deepest, and longest, connection with my grandfather cuz by birth im the oldest. So yeah killer morning...
But it meant a lot because Becky came. As soon as she heard that I needed sum1 she was there to take care of me for the entire morning and sat by me while i sang and came to the cemetary. I needed her and she was there and I cant say how much that meant.