(no subject)
I'm very ... very..... not in a good mood today.
Things are so different than they were a year ago..now that I think about it. I've been confusing myself with petty things lately.. Last year at this time I was too fucked up all the time to think. I did cocaine on christmas at 12:01 over the phone with a good friend. I just don't understand how my mind worked last year, how I was so infatuated with someone and wanted to, for lack of better terms, 'be them'. I look now and see that what I want to do with my life is much greater than ecstasy and other things..and that although there are some things that appeal to me...it's not even worth it.
The thing that brought on this realization from the beginning...Is the person I love, I hate, I want to destroy, I want to push up against a wall, I want to marry.
So...uh...I'm really confused right now..this is all very pointless ramble..
oh and I have to go to work.
*** JESSE MEADOWS!! I'm sorry I was not at my computer last night but we'll talk asap.
Things are so different than they were a year ago..now that I think about it. I've been confusing myself with petty things lately.. Last year at this time I was too fucked up all the time to think. I did cocaine on christmas at 12:01 over the phone with a good friend. I just don't understand how my mind worked last year, how I was so infatuated with someone and wanted to, for lack of better terms, 'be them'. I look now and see that what I want to do with my life is much greater than ecstasy and other things..and that although there are some things that appeal to me...it's not even worth it.
The thing that brought on this realization from the beginning...Is the person I love, I hate, I want to destroy, I want to push up against a wall, I want to marry.
So...uh...I'm really confused right now..this is all very pointless ramble..
oh and I have to go to work.
*** JESSE MEADOWS!! I'm sorry I was not at my computer last night but we'll talk asap.