Brief Update on Sharon from the Chinstab Defuglacy
I heard from a reliable poll that you want more apoc. I deliver. (sorta) This is for all you people that wonder what happened to Sharon after my failed defuglacy.
I open up with the sexiest mechanic in the universe.
In the most... amazing house in the universe.
Also the safest house in Hollowbottom. In exception for the Blister Legacy family tree house.
(+portrait of ex)
Townie: (does not realise how lucky he is)
AND SO, Sharon decides to defug the townies. It's all a part of the defuglacy spirit.
Time to call the adoption centre so she can adopt her spawnage back.
BITCH, THAT WASN'T HER FAULT KDJSLFKJSDKLFJSDLKFJSLKDFJLSDKFJSL
She wants her kids back, dammit. FUCK YOU, F'HIDEOUS.
Sharon: (pouts)
Sharon: Hey... Aren't you Acanthus, the founder of the Blister heir line?
Acanthus: Why, yes! I am!
Sharon: I need to make babies. Do you have any advice?
Acanthus: I can offer some counsel. Are you a founder as well?
Sharon: Something like that, but all of my children were taken away when my ex-husband died in the bathtub.
Acanthus: Oh... I see. The bathtub.
Sharon: Yes. The bathtub.
Acanthus: Uh... I don't believe you. At all.
Sharon: DAMN YOU, F'HIDEOUS! WHO THE HELL DIES IN A BATH TUB?!
Acanthus: You seem... enraged. O_O
Sharon: IMMA MAD BLACK WOMAN KPLZTHNX. Almost as hot as Madea herself!
I think marrying F'hideous lowered your standards.
Well... maybe...
Or maybe not.
Hey, it pays to talk to ugly people!
Or maybe not.
Scientist who's name I didn't check: I have lots of cash.
Sharon: That's not enough for me-- are you good on bench?
Scientist: lolwut?
Well, it is an apocalypse. Beds are a commodity.
You look like Spock. That makes you Sharon's new husband by default. Congratulations.
WHAT KIND OF ASS HOLE TURNS DOWN SHARON?
Sharon: I have decided you may date me now that I have given you a makeover, random townie that I brought home from Musée d'Acanthus.
Well, that worked out well.
Sharon: I want to have lots of babies with you.
Happy couple?
And she ALMOST loves her husband!
Scot: I'm so sly!
Sharon: BABYTIMEPLZ +love
Give the man a break. You would miss work for this.
Sharon: BIIIIRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Scot: FML
Sharon: I HAS BABY.
Cheating? No. Never.
Scot: WTF? How can I be pregnant?
Sharon: I got tired after having five babies. It's your turn now.
And they lived sort of happily ever after.