on stalking and identity
Two completely separate topics, I swear. But first, let me apologize for not posting lately. Mainly I've been hanging out on Twitter~ So if you haven't added me yet, feel free to do so! And I think part of the issue is that I rarely have anything to say that's worth posting for the masses to see. At least with fangirling you know some people on your flist will want to join in the squealing, let alone bother reading.
But today I come with confessions and things I need to get off my chest. Normally I can have a giant internal monologue and be done with it, but not tonight. I feel the need to type this out.
First confession. When I really like someone, not even necessarily in the romantic sense, I want to know everything there is to know about that person. When we have conversations, I'll remember the littlest details, which I think frighten people at times. Mainly because said detail was only mentioned in passing and they're shocked when I bring it up again. "How did you know that?!" they'd ask and I get kind of embarrassed. Most of the time I can keep myself in check, restrain myself from bothering the person too much. When I think I've talked to the person too much, I'll back off and stay away for a while. But... but that doesn't stop my need to gather information. I don't mean to be creepy, I swear! T^T What I'm trying to say is that I enjoy reading about simple things like what they did on some uneventful day and why they like... pie instead of cake. Does this make sense?
Second confession. For the longest time, all I've ever known about my roots can be traced back to Taiwan. Sure, my dad's parents are both from mainland. My mom's father is from mainland... but I was never fed stories about China because they didn't have any. My mom and grandmother would sing Taiwanese children songs to me when I was little (on top of the Chinese ones), so now I have a soft spot for the language though I don't understand it at all. There was a time when I could sing 阿里山的姑 because it was my grandfather's song and everyone knew how to sing along with him. (Listening to it know makes me want to cry.)
During the latter years of elementary school and carrying over to junior high, especially, I remember being conflicted whenever someone asked what ethnicity I am. "Chinese," I'd say. Then after a pause, I'd clarify with: "My parents are both from Taiwan." Or if I do say "I'm Taiwanese," I'd get someone who asks if I can speak Taiwanese. Ugh. Now that I think about it, I stopped saying that because I hated having to tell them, no, I can't speak Taiwanese. There was always that dreaded awkwardness. What do you do in such a dilemma?
But today I come with confessions and things I need to get off my chest. Normally I can have a giant internal monologue and be done with it, but not tonight. I feel the need to type this out.
First confession. When I really like someone, not even necessarily in the romantic sense, I want to know everything there is to know about that person. When we have conversations, I'll remember the littlest details, which I think frighten people at times. Mainly because said detail was only mentioned in passing and they're shocked when I bring it up again. "How did you know that?!" they'd ask and I get kind of embarrassed. Most of the time I can keep myself in check, restrain myself from bothering the person too much. When I think I've talked to the person too much, I'll back off and stay away for a while. But... but that doesn't stop my need to gather information. I don't mean to be creepy, I swear! T^T What I'm trying to say is that I enjoy reading about simple things like what they did on some uneventful day and why they like... pie instead of cake. Does this make sense?
Second confession. For the longest time, all I've ever known about my roots can be traced back to Taiwan. Sure, my dad's parents are both from mainland. My mom's father is from mainland... but I was never fed stories about China because they didn't have any. My mom and grandmother would sing Taiwanese children songs to me when I was little (on top of the Chinese ones), so now I have a soft spot for the language though I don't understand it at all. There was a time when I could sing 阿里山的姑 because it was my grandfather's song and everyone knew how to sing along with him. (Listening to it know makes me want to cry.)
During the latter years of elementary school and carrying over to junior high, especially, I remember being conflicted whenever someone asked what ethnicity I am. "Chinese," I'd say. Then after a pause, I'd clarify with: "My parents are both from Taiwan." Or if I do say "I'm Taiwanese," I'd get someone who asks if I can speak Taiwanese. Ugh. Now that I think about it, I stopped saying that because I hated having to tell them, no, I can't speak Taiwanese. There was always that dreaded awkwardness. What do you do in such a dilemma?