Confession and the pears of life...
This has been such a strange week. Constantly varying states of neutrality and happiness (notice I didn't say unhappiness or discontentment) has been hard to keep up with. The weather has much to do with that. Ohio has been unusually warm and sunny for January, but when it reverts back to normal weather my brain and my interior go AHHHHH stop playing with me. If I haven't already told you - I am moving someplace tropical when I am done with school :). ANYwho. My philosophy classes have been challenging me in ways I never anticipated being challenged. If I kept going to a more secular university or a state school like originally planned - yeah I would've ended up defending my beliefs or philosophical ideas in much more hostile however very diverse environment than I am in right now, but I wouldn't be able to experience the growth in virtue that keeps coming my way. Yesterday, my friend Chris at school who really likes to dance and likes dance music I offered to burn him some tunes that I thought he would really like. He looks at me with a look of gentleness and sincerity and kindly says that he doesn't do burned CD's. He believes that it is stealing and that it is wrong. I simply oblige him and tell him that I understand. What is strange about this I am still soaking in. Anyone who knows me knows about the computer geekness that is me. I have like 600 GB of harddrive space in just one of my computers. That is stemming from like 4-5 years ago when hard drives were not so cheap. I love to pirate. Being an Internet junkie for quite a few years left me with the communistic view of the Internet and what it has to offer and how it should be shared. So something outrageous like Napster being taken down by musicians who already have hundreds of millions of dollars (Metallica - who I used to be the biggest fan of and actually owned ALL of their CD's), just disappointed me down to the core of my being. Buying music after that point really seemed so fruitless because if that was going to be the reaction of any well established band whom I really respected (this is way pre-convert days) then I don't want to give them any money of mine. I was such a metal head in high school and Metallica were like my heroes so I was tragically let down by what seemed like opportunistic selfishness all so they can gain attention from the media. My faith in the virtue of the music industry plummeted from this point on. Granted I realize that not every musician is like this and most musicians probably barely make enough to sustain themselves, but I was distraught by this action that I have taken it out on every other musician for it. The only exception might be those artists who put their stuff out there and endorse it being downloaded and shared. Otherwise there has been a perverse will operating here. One sin perpetuating another. Enjoying about 40,000 Mp3's (about 150 GB I am guessing) from pre-napster days until now, I have sought revenge and have encouraged others to do the same inadverdently by feeling so righteous and passionately about the issue. I have come up with fascinating and remarkable arguments for justifying legally and morally the piracy of music and movies for that matter , but now here comes the kicker...
Augustine is my patron and confirmation saint. I found out last semester that you dont really choose your saints they choose you. This semester thus far I have read a ton of Augustine. One of his dialogues he has with his son Adeodatus reminds me of EXACTLY the same stuff I thought of to the letter. Very weird. All kinds of stuff have happened like that to me while reading his work (and these works are different) none from the same books and from entirely different classes. So today my history of medieval philosophy professor tells us of a part in Confessions where he and some friends go to steal some pears. Even though he has no need of them, and he could eat better things at home he decides to do it anyway. Now as he examines his motives for doing so (rather exhaustively I might mention) he concludes that he has knowingly and willingly rejected the highest good for a lesser one and then attempted to elevate it as a virtue. He also admits that it is his pride that is the core of his reason for doing an act like that. One might be inclined to say that it was intellectual error that made him do it, but it is about setting yourself above the law of stealing that is thrilling and this is found in pride. This came up again in my texts of von Hildebrand class like an hour later. Both classes for some reason I was ready to fall asleep in, but after that example came up twice in both classes however randomly I woke up. Especially after that experience with my friend Chris yesterday God has been trying to tell me something. You guys can see where this is going. The pears and music for me are one in the same. Augustine has chosen me for we have so many of the same struggles. Realizing all of this really sucks because it is hard, but it also means that I am called to a higher morality. I can no longer download music without every intention of purchasing it after listening to it. Ted will find this to be very interesting to read.
Today has been philosophically exhausting.
Augustine is my patron and confirmation saint. I found out last semester that you dont really choose your saints they choose you. This semester thus far I have read a ton of Augustine. One of his dialogues he has with his son Adeodatus reminds me of EXACTLY the same stuff I thought of to the letter. Very weird. All kinds of stuff have happened like that to me while reading his work (and these works are different) none from the same books and from entirely different classes. So today my history of medieval philosophy professor tells us of a part in Confessions where he and some friends go to steal some pears. Even though he has no need of them, and he could eat better things at home he decides to do it anyway. Now as he examines his motives for doing so (rather exhaustively I might mention) he concludes that he has knowingly and willingly rejected the highest good for a lesser one and then attempted to elevate it as a virtue. He also admits that it is his pride that is the core of his reason for doing an act like that. One might be inclined to say that it was intellectual error that made him do it, but it is about setting yourself above the law of stealing that is thrilling and this is found in pride. This came up again in my texts of von Hildebrand class like an hour later. Both classes for some reason I was ready to fall asleep in, but after that example came up twice in both classes however randomly I woke up. Especially after that experience with my friend Chris yesterday God has been trying to tell me something. You guys can see where this is going. The pears and music for me are one in the same. Augustine has chosen me for we have so many of the same struggles. Realizing all of this really sucks because it is hard, but it also means that I am called to a higher morality. I can no longer download music without every intention of purchasing it after listening to it. Ted will find this to be very interesting to read.
Today has been philosophically exhausting.