Y is for... What? (1/1)
Y is for... What?
Rating: All Ages
Genre: General, Friendship, Humor, Team
Timeline: Season 07
Warnings: None
Synopsis: Jack Alphabet Soup (or is that Alpha-Bits cereal?) contribution. Stuck in quarantine, Jack is bored and sharing.
Status: Completed October 20, 2008; released October 27, 2008
Y is for... What?
Quarantine sucked. Because SG-1 might possibly have contracted a virus while assisting the refugees from PHR-6C8, the team had been swiftly ushered into an isolation room while Frasier and her minions drew blood, shone penlights in their eyes, and generally made the team feel like a bunch of lab rats.
Five hours into their imprisonment, Jack got tired of counting ceiling tiles, had gotten a new high score on Bejeweled, and was otherwise bored out of his gourd.
"I Spy," he began, "with my little eye, something that begins with 'G'."
"Gurney," supplied Teal'c, not looking up from his attempt at kelnorim. Without Junior, he was just as susceptible to the alleged virus as anyone else on the team.
"Nope."
"Glasses," Daniel guessed, glancing up from his laptop only briefly.
"Closer. Give up?"
"Sam hasn't had her turn yet."
The major in question looked up from her own laptop. "What? My turn at what?"
"We're playing 'I Spy'," Jack sighed, flicking out his yo-yo and catching it again. "I Spy, with my little eye, something that begins with 'G'."
"We have already suggested 'gurney' and 'glasses'," added Teal'c, giving up all pretense of meditation. Inwardly, Jack declared a victory.
"Uh..." Sam looked around the room for a moment. "Gauze?"
Jack grinned. "Wrong again!" he crowed triumphantly. "'Geeks'."
"Haha... very funny." Daniel rolled his eyes, shifted his laptop to a new position on his upraised knees, and went back to whatever it was he was doing.
"Okay, so... since none of you guessed it, I get to go again. I Spy, with my little eye, something that starts with... 'S'."
"Sheets," guessed Teal'c.
"Scrubs," chimed in Daniel, tugging on the shoulder of his scrub top.
"Carter?"
"Sphygmomanometer."
Jack stared at her like she'd lost her mind. "What?"
"Blood pressure cuff," she explained, waving a finger at the one gracing the IV pole next to her bed.
"Why didn't you say so in the first place?" he scowled.
"Because 'blood pressure cuff' doesn't begin with an 's', sir," she smiled sweetly, closing her laptop lid and stretching out her legs.
The colonel let out an exasperated sigh. "Like I would know what a... spy-go... yo-momma-meter is." He didn't miss the conspiratorial grin his "kids" exchanged. "Anyway, the word was 'snoring'."
"None of us is snoring, O'Neill."
"And you can't see snores anyway," Daniel protested.
"No, but the three of you are so depressingly boring, you're about to make me snore."
"I have to agree with Daniel and Teal'c-" Sam began.
"You would."
"-'Snoring' shouldn't count."
Jack threw up his hands. "Maybe I should have said 'sense of humor' instead. Oh, wait... I don't see any of those in this room!"
"I will resume the game," Teal'c interrupted, before the situation could escalate further. "I Spy, with my little eye, something for which the first letter is 'L'."
"Losers," sniped Jack petulantly.
"Sir!" Sam protested.
"What?"
"Linens," Daniel guessed, ignoring the insult.
"That is correct, Daniel Jackson. I believe it is your turn."
Daniel closed his own laptop. "Thank you, Teal'c." He looked around the room briefly. "I Spy, with my little eye, something that begins with 'E'."
"Exit," guessed Teal'c.
"Entrance," Jack countered.
"Emesis bowl," declared Sam triumphantly. "I saw your eyes land on it for a moment."
The linguist nodded. "Yeah, you got me. Your turn."
"I Spy, with my little eye, something..." Her lips quirked. "Something that begins with 'C'."
"Colonel," Jack replied, not liking the way she was looking at him.
"Cowlick," supplied Teal'c.
"Correct!" the major grinned.
"What?!" Frowning, Jack used the darkened screen of his own laptop as a mirror, and scowled when he saw his recent shower had resulted in an interesting hairdo. "Oh, for cryin' out loud!"
While Jack attempted to smooth the errant hairs, Teal'c selected another object in the room. "I Spy, with my little eye, something for which the first letter is... 'C'."
"Ceiling," guessed Daniel, rather unimaginatively.
"Crash cart," Jack added, spotting the defibrillator out of the corner of his eye when he put his laptop down again.
"Correct, O'Neill."
"Ha! My turn again." He rubbed his hands together hissing "excellent" in his best Monty Burns impression. "I Spy, with my little eye, something that begins with 'L'."
"Laptop," Daniel jumped in, even as Sam's mouth opened to say the same.
Jack smirked. "Right... but I'm tempted to say 'life', as in, 'you need to get one'."
"We're in quarantine, Jack... none of us has a life at the moment," Daniel reminded him. "And when we're not in quarantine, we're on a mission, or off saving the planet, or rescuing someone, or..."
Jack rolled his eyes, waving him off. "Yadda. Your turn."
"Okay... I Spy, with my little eye, something that begins with... 'Y'."
"Yo-yo," guessed Sam.
"Hey! I was gonna say that!" Jack protested.
"Daniel beat me to 'laptop', sir."
"I believe Major Carter means 'you snooze, you lose'."
"It's a damn conspiracy, isn't it?"
"Indeed."
Daniel smirked, waggling his interlaced fingers before putting his hands behind his head. "Give up yet?"
"No!" Jack shot back immediately. "I'm... thinking."
"That's what I smelled burning."
"Daniel!"
"Yellow," guessed Teal'c, indicating the lurid stain coloring one wall of the isolation room. No one was quite sure what incident had caused the discoloration, nor were any attempts to remove or paint over the splotch successful.
"That's a color, not an object," Jack protested.
"A yellow stain, then."
Daniel shook his head, lips curved in a self-satisfied smile. "Nope. Jack?"
The colonel cast about for something else which started with the correct letter, but wasn't very successful. "Uh... yummy hospital food?" he guessed, looking questioningly at the remains of their bland supper.
"Wrong!"
"All right then, genius, what was it?"
"Yenta."
Jack spluttered. "That's not even English!"
"What's that mean?" Sam asked, wanting to enjoy the colonel's outrage to its fullest.
Daniel smirked. "It's a term adopted from Yiddish. It's slang for a 'meddlesome person'. Yenta." He picked up his laptop again, pushed his glasses back up his nose, and stared straight at Jack. "And I'm looking at one right now."