You don't know a thing about me...
I spent a few hours last night reading old LJ entries (circa 2006) for inspiration for a play I'm writing. It's about what happens backstage during a play, and what "types" of actors are commonly found.
But oh, those old entries. I am so glad I wrote them, but getting back in that headspace is depressing. And what's worse is that I often feel that way- still. Like I'm just outside of the circle I want to be in. But they're doing everything to keep me out ("they" being those people I'm writing about in my play). It's so frustrating because I see the stuff I want to do. I COULD do it. But I have so many limitations. I am not part of a group. It's just me. I don't have connections, because nobody wants to give me the time of day. Not even to spend an hour to come see my show! And what can I do about that? Nothing. I can't force people to support me.
I just wish I knew WHY. That's what I can't wrap my head around. What is it about me?
I want to write plays so bad. I want to see them performed.
I need to get out this mood.