The human is late for breakfast
I checked comment notification emails in the middle of the night (what? I get up for a drink of water a lot) and saw this: "I just needed to tell somebody-- I live down the block from a movie theatre...and I can hear them screaming from my house...they just keep screaming!"
THIS is the sparkling? I refuse to believe it. People who actually reviewed the movie have described it variously as "a human disco ball" and "like he's sweating glitter" and "like he's covered in blond fur" (wait, what?). At this size and resolution, it's just a weaksauce glow. It cannot be contained by a mere .wmv file or screencaps thereof. ("BELLA, I AM SUCH A MONSTER. LOOK AT MY ETHEREAL SHINE." "What? Edward, I dropped $60 at Sephora trying to get a glow like that!") You'll just have to laugh your ass off at the rest of the scene, I guess.
So my mother's shouting up the stairs, as she usually does right before she leaves work, you know, anything she feels the need to tell me before she leaves ("THE PLUMBER GUY SAYS HE WILL BE HERE BETWEEN EIGHT AND FIVE, OH, AND SCOUT'S THROWING UP AGAIN"), so today she shouts, "THEY JUST HAD SOMETHING ABOUT TWILIGHT ON FOX AND FRIENDS." Hey! I thought we agreed you weren't going to watch Fox News anymore! "THE GUY? THE GUY EVERYONE'S GOING CRAZY OVER?" I should stop here and say that last night she saw him on Access Hollywood last night and blurted out, "He looks like a greaser! What a waste!" (If she calls you a "greaser," just go on home. There's nothing more she's going to have to do with you. Also, apparently it's the '50s.) But this morning, she has had a change of heart: "HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE JOHNNY DEPP." What? "YOU KNOW, WITH THE NOT WASHING." Snerk. "THE WAY PEOPLE ARE GOING CRAZY OVER HIM, IT'S KIND OF LIKE HARRISON FORD AS INDIANA JONES OR JOHNNY DEPP AS JACK SPARROW. IT'S NOT HIM, IT'S THE CHARACTER." Well-spotted! Except... oh God, she just related Robert Pattinson and/or Edward to the two movie characters she is obsessed with. "I KINDA... WANT TO SEE IT NOW." This is the beginning of the end, y'all.
No review links, because I've already given you a couple of resources for those. On with the Twi-spam:
Kristen Stewart Blunder or David Letterman Stupidity?; Twilight Star's Letterman Disaster: Funniest Moments; full clip. I can't believe I'm saying this, but they really need to leave future talk-show appearances to Robert Pattinson. Who will be on Ellen sometime today, I believe. And had his long-awaited meeting with Tyra Banks, apparently (Vampire, Vamp Think Something Is Bloody Good Fun [Snap Judgment]).
Kristen Stewart Will Read Next 'Twilight' Book as Soon as the Check Clears [Adventures In Apathy]; Kristen Stewart’s (Big) Apple Adventures (man, those jeans are cute); Interview: 'Twilight' Star Kristen Stewart; Twihards are, predictably, total bitches to Kristen Stewart:They also haven't been afraid of letting Kristen Stewart, who plays Bella Swan in the film based on Stephenie Meyer's series of books, know about their feelings for "Twilight" -- and Edward. Some have been downright disdainful, Stewart told CNN at the Los Angeles interviews for the film. "Very communicative looks," Stewart said. "Like, 'I'm just letting you know with this look that you're nothing special. ... I'm here for Edward, and I hope you don't ruin the movie.' It's really crazy."
Peter Facinelli promoting Twilight on Bonnie Hunt Show. Apparently he's given his ~*Cullen Family Crest*~ ring to charity, which is sweet.
Robert Pattinson is a Velvet Goldmine (apparently he and the Paramore chick did an event together); 'Twilight' vampire Pattinson considers stakes of fame, or, Secrets of The Hair ("People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that"); Pattinson Voted Hottest Male Movie Vampire (I'm sure there was no ballot-stuffing by the Twihards at all); Robert Pattinson, One Sexy Hufflepuff; Hunky vampire becomes breakout star; Stewart Reveals Secret Of Pattinson's Appeal; Pattinson Has Co-Star To Thank For Twilight Role.
Fuglight ("It's the hair. The unruly, slightly oily Edward hair that's damp with the sweat of restraint and clammy lust. They won't let me cut it, and it OWNS me. Is your dress made of sweatshirts?"); Fug the Cover: Kristen Stewart.
'Twilight' scene-stealer Anna Kendrick to costar opposite George Clooney.
Jacob and the Bad Vamps sing Miley Cyrus; 'Twilight' Co-Stars Edi Gathegi, Taylor Lautner And Rachelle Lefevre Talk 'Vampire Camp,' Potential Sequels; 'Twilight': Team Taylor briefs?
Twilight Cast Rocks Paramore’s “Lost Show.”
Attention Twilighters: Get Your Webcams Ready And Send Us Your ‘Twilight’ Movie Reactions! STOP THAT!
'Twilight' trivia challenge!
Vampires Ate Your Hair [Sci Fashion] ("Edward comes from a long line of ugly-haired Euro-American vampires in cinema, and we've got a rogues gallery of the worst vampire hair imaginable for you").
Will 'Twilight' Make Studio Turnaround Fashionable at Last? [Trade Secrets]
First 'Twilight' Reviews Confirm Appeal Among Girls, Cheesy FX Fans [Critics]; Entertainment Weekly Box Office Preview: 'Twilight' to suck up buckets of blood...and big bucks.
Place your bets, place your final bets:
Poll
ETA: Warning, there may be spoilers discussed in the comments.
ETA 2: From dramaturgca: San Francisco riot survivor wins The Vampire Volvo on Tyra after a pie-eating contest while Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner watch in disbelief. I just keep sitting here reading this over and over going, "What? What?"
THIS is the sparkling? I refuse to believe it. People who actually reviewed the movie have described it variously as "a human disco ball" and "like he's sweating glitter" and "like he's covered in blond fur" (wait, what?). At this size and resolution, it's just a weaksauce glow. It cannot be contained by a mere .wmv file or screencaps thereof. ("BELLA, I AM SUCH A MONSTER. LOOK AT MY ETHEREAL SHINE." "What? Edward, I dropped $60 at Sephora trying to get a glow like that!") You'll just have to laugh your ass off at the rest of the scene, I guess.
So my mother's shouting up the stairs, as she usually does right before she leaves work, you know, anything she feels the need to tell me before she leaves ("THE PLUMBER GUY SAYS HE WILL BE HERE BETWEEN EIGHT AND FIVE, OH, AND SCOUT'S THROWING UP AGAIN"), so today she shouts, "THEY JUST HAD SOMETHING ABOUT TWILIGHT ON FOX AND FRIENDS." Hey! I thought we agreed you weren't going to watch Fox News anymore! "THE GUY? THE GUY EVERYONE'S GOING CRAZY OVER?" I should stop here and say that last night she saw him on Access Hollywood last night and blurted out, "He looks like a greaser! What a waste!" (If she calls you a "greaser," just go on home. There's nothing more she's going to have to do with you. Also, apparently it's the '50s.) But this morning, she has had a change of heart: "HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE JOHNNY DEPP." What? "YOU KNOW, WITH THE NOT WASHING." Snerk. "THE WAY PEOPLE ARE GOING CRAZY OVER HIM, IT'S KIND OF LIKE HARRISON FORD AS INDIANA JONES OR JOHNNY DEPP AS JACK SPARROW. IT'S NOT HIM, IT'S THE CHARACTER." Well-spotted! Except... oh God, she just related Robert Pattinson and/or Edward to the two movie characters she is obsessed with. "I KINDA... WANT TO SEE IT NOW." This is the beginning of the end, y'all.
No review links, because I've already given you a couple of resources for those. On with the Twi-spam:
Kristen Stewart Blunder or David Letterman Stupidity?; Twilight Star's Letterman Disaster: Funniest Moments; full clip. I can't believe I'm saying this, but they really need to leave future talk-show appearances to Robert Pattinson. Who will be on Ellen sometime today, I believe. And had his long-awaited meeting with Tyra Banks, apparently (Vampire, Vamp Think Something Is Bloody Good Fun [Snap Judgment]).
Kristen Stewart Will Read Next 'Twilight' Book as Soon as the Check Clears [Adventures In Apathy]; Kristen Stewart’s (Big) Apple Adventures (man, those jeans are cute); Interview: 'Twilight' Star Kristen Stewart; Twihards are, predictably, total bitches to Kristen Stewart:They also haven't been afraid of letting Kristen Stewart, who plays Bella Swan in the film based on Stephenie Meyer's series of books, know about their feelings for "Twilight" -- and Edward. Some have been downright disdainful, Stewart told CNN at the Los Angeles interviews for the film. "Very communicative looks," Stewart said. "Like, 'I'm just letting you know with this look that you're nothing special. ... I'm here for Edward, and I hope you don't ruin the movie.' It's really crazy."
Peter Facinelli promoting Twilight on Bonnie Hunt Show. Apparently he's given his ~*Cullen Family Crest*~ ring to charity, which is sweet.
Robert Pattinson is a Velvet Goldmine (apparently he and the Paramore chick did an event together); 'Twilight' vampire Pattinson considers stakes of fame, or, Secrets of The Hair ("People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that"); Pattinson Voted Hottest Male Movie Vampire (I'm sure there was no ballot-stuffing by the Twihards at all); Robert Pattinson, One Sexy Hufflepuff; Hunky vampire becomes breakout star; Stewart Reveals Secret Of Pattinson's Appeal; Pattinson Has Co-Star To Thank For Twilight Role.
Fuglight ("It's the hair. The unruly, slightly oily Edward hair that's damp with the sweat of restraint and clammy lust. They won't let me cut it, and it OWNS me. Is your dress made of sweatshirts?"); Fug the Cover: Kristen Stewart.
'Twilight' scene-stealer Anna Kendrick to costar opposite George Clooney.
Jacob and the Bad Vamps sing Miley Cyrus; 'Twilight' Co-Stars Edi Gathegi, Taylor Lautner And Rachelle Lefevre Talk 'Vampire Camp,' Potential Sequels; 'Twilight': Team Taylor briefs?
Twilight Cast Rocks Paramore’s “Lost Show.”
Attention Twilighters: Get Your Webcams Ready And Send Us Your ‘Twilight’ Movie Reactions! STOP THAT!
'Twilight' trivia challenge!
Vampires Ate Your Hair [Sci Fashion] ("Edward comes from a long line of ugly-haired Euro-American vampires in cinema, and we've got a rogues gallery of the worst vampire hair imaginable for you").
Will 'Twilight' Make Studio Turnaround Fashionable at Last? [Trade Secrets]
First 'Twilight' Reviews Confirm Appeal Among Girls, Cheesy FX Fans [Critics]; Entertainment Weekly Box Office Preview: 'Twilight' to suck up buckets of blood...and big bucks.
Place your bets, place your final bets:
Poll
ETA: Warning, there may be spoilers discussed in the comments.
ETA 2: From dramaturgca: San Francisco riot survivor wins The Vampire Volvo on Tyra after a pie-eating contest while Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner watch in disbelief. I just keep sitting here reading this over and over going, "What? What?"