Why do I always blog right before dinner?
So I had another bizarro dream last night, and I know how much y'all like my dreams, or at least the opportunity to describe your own:
So at some point, there was a vampire, but it was a modern blue jeans kind of vampire, and he may have looked like Brad Pitt occasionally, but this is probably because Brad Pitt is in 73.8% of all my dreams (and yet I am never making out with him, which must have been one of the Long-Term Sad-Making Options the White Witch considered before she settled on "always winter and never Christmas"). I had some kind of female friend who staggered out into a very Spanish-moss-draped kind of country-plantation road, and she collapsed and was bleeding from the throat, o noz, and clearly she had been done in by the vampire. So then I went to a tiny little cracker box of an airport and I found the vampire sitting on the floor in a lounge area and we considered dating. He may have also been wearing a plaid shirt by that time. I don't know. But then I had to catch a space shuttle to the moon, but it was very important that he seek medical help for my friend, who I think was still collapsed under the Spanish moss, but he may have escaped instead. This part of the dream is particularly fuzzy, as I was very concerned about getting to the moon with all these college kids, where we set up a large hospital-colored tent. (It just... was, okay?) I was concerned as to whether the air was breathable, but surprisingly, it was. Immediately a couple of guys started fighting over some girl, and then one of them was knocked down and killed (at which point we figured out that gravity was, unfortunately, in effect). This tragedy was promptly forgotten as we got back to the Serious Business of Doing Things in a Tent on the Moon, and I think the guy may have even shown up again later. Eventually, after a great deal of fuss and bother we got back down to earth (I am sure the Serious Business was interesting, but I can't remember it now, except that the tent began to look like one of those "play structures" with tubey openings, and we were very concerned that the openings were getting smaller and we would never get back inside the Tent of Many Hospital Colors), and hundreds of people were waiting in bleachers to watch us land because apparently the whole country had been afraid we wouldn't make it, and I found my maternal grandparents and hugged them but then I couldn't find my mother. I kept finding my father's family but not my mother, and we kept calling each other back and forth on our cell phones, which is probably the most boring thing that has ever happened to me in a dream, ever. So then I went back to the dorm that I haven't seen in six years because I, you know, graduated and was trying to convince Brett the Vet that I'd had a thrilling and dangerous time on the moon, and I was gone for months and months, don't you remember?, and the Lovely Emily was like, "Didn't we just go to a movie, like, three weeks ago?" So we got on his computer and we were Googling for news articles (" '[My real name]' + moon"), and we found some! See! It really happened! I was on the moon, and it was dangerous, and we slept in cartoon-character sleeping bags and ate crackers, I told you so, and Brett the Vet was like, "No, I'm pretty sure we went to a movie last weekend, too." STOP HARSHING MY LUNAR BUZZ, SERIOUSLY. So I went to an aquarium to look up proof in the stacks (what? You don't have a library aquarium?) that I had been on the moon, but all I kept finding were these weird books, and one of them was diseased ("Uh, I think you need to take a look at this book? Maybe fix it? I think it's diseased"), and the pages kept sticking together, because they were made of oozing tissue and viscera. And then I woke up. Now I want to upgrade Crash Club to a B and give this dream a C - , because at least Crash Club was interesting.
From megalion: Help catch a criminal. Writes actress Pauley Perrette of NCIS, "This Saturday, Sept. 8th, 9pm on FOX is the show following me and America's Most Wanted all around in an attempt to help solve the two horrible murders of Raven Jeffries in Detroit and Shannon Paulk in Pratville, Alabama. It started when I put up reward money in these two cases, and has ended up being a life changing venture.... Please let as many people as possible know about the airing this Saturday night. Copy and paste this e-mail, talk about it in your blogs, carrier pigeon, smoke signals, tin cans on a string, whatever it takes. That's when the show works, the more people that watch, the better chance we have of getting the tip that could change everything."
Superstar tenor Pavarotti dies at 71.
Oscar winner Miyoshi Umeki dies at 78.
Author Norman Mailer hospitalized.
Myanmar Monks Said to Take Hostages.
Apple responds to iRate customers; Early iPhone buyers get $100 credit. They're still out another $100, though. Suckahhhs.
Trout restoration used wrong fish. Genius.
Facebook allows limited public searches. Which means that you need to take down the pictures of you getting hammered at a party and drawing funny faces on your ass before the bossman looks you up.
The Bob Dylan Message Generator.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the Mediocre Walloons.
Daniel Radcliffe as Doctor Who what?
More Golden Age pics at the Costumers Guide!
Images: Shoot 'Em Up, Across the Universe, Prince Caspian (mostly production art, no real stills), The Mist.
Ralph Fiennes to play Duke of Devonshire in Keira Knightley's Georgiana biopic.
Phillippe, Cornish and Bean in Viking Epic.
Sweeney Todd excerpt plays in Venice, and apparently Johnny Depp really can sing.
Cate Blanchett really is the best thing about I'm Not There.
Jodie Foster States Obvious, Blames Dina Lohan For Lindsay's Troubles. Also: Jodie Foster through the years.
Who's Creating the Wolfman?
Gael Garcia Bernal is 'Mammoth.'
Almodóvar Eyes Cruz for New Film.
Universal Calls Upon Jeff the Immortal.
Summit Acquires Penelope.
'Bad Lieutenant' Is Getting a Rewrite. But... why?
Indiana Jones Returns! If It’s Got A Press Kit, It Must Be Real.
Fanning Raises Jolly Roger For ‘True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle.’
So at some point, there was a vampire, but it was a modern blue jeans kind of vampire, and he may have looked like Brad Pitt occasionally, but this is probably because Brad Pitt is in 73.8% of all my dreams (and yet I am never making out with him, which must have been one of the Long-Term Sad-Making Options the White Witch considered before she settled on "always winter and never Christmas"). I had some kind of female friend who staggered out into a very Spanish-moss-draped kind of country-plantation road, and she collapsed and was bleeding from the throat, o noz, and clearly she had been done in by the vampire. So then I went to a tiny little cracker box of an airport and I found the vampire sitting on the floor in a lounge area and we considered dating. He may have also been wearing a plaid shirt by that time. I don't know. But then I had to catch a space shuttle to the moon, but it was very important that he seek medical help for my friend, who I think was still collapsed under the Spanish moss, but he may have escaped instead. This part of the dream is particularly fuzzy, as I was very concerned about getting to the moon with all these college kids, where we set up a large hospital-colored tent. (It just... was, okay?) I was concerned as to whether the air was breathable, but surprisingly, it was. Immediately a couple of guys started fighting over some girl, and then one of them was knocked down and killed (at which point we figured out that gravity was, unfortunately, in effect). This tragedy was promptly forgotten as we got back to the Serious Business of Doing Things in a Tent on the Moon, and I think the guy may have even shown up again later. Eventually, after a great deal of fuss and bother we got back down to earth (I am sure the Serious Business was interesting, but I can't remember it now, except that the tent began to look like one of those "play structures" with tubey openings, and we were very concerned that the openings were getting smaller and we would never get back inside the Tent of Many Hospital Colors), and hundreds of people were waiting in bleachers to watch us land because apparently the whole country had been afraid we wouldn't make it, and I found my maternal grandparents and hugged them but then I couldn't find my mother. I kept finding my father's family but not my mother, and we kept calling each other back and forth on our cell phones, which is probably the most boring thing that has ever happened to me in a dream, ever. So then I went back to the dorm that I haven't seen in six years because I, you know, graduated and was trying to convince Brett the Vet that I'd had a thrilling and dangerous time on the moon, and I was gone for months and months, don't you remember?, and the Lovely Emily was like, "Didn't we just go to a movie, like, three weeks ago?" So we got on his computer and we were Googling for news articles (" '[My real name]' + moon"), and we found some! See! It really happened! I was on the moon, and it was dangerous, and we slept in cartoon-character sleeping bags and ate crackers, I told you so, and Brett the Vet was like, "No, I'm pretty sure we went to a movie last weekend, too." STOP HARSHING MY LUNAR BUZZ, SERIOUSLY. So I went to an aquarium to look up proof in the stacks (what? You don't have a library aquarium?) that I had been on the moon, but all I kept finding were these weird books, and one of them was diseased ("Uh, I think you need to take a look at this book? Maybe fix it? I think it's diseased"), and the pages kept sticking together, because they were made of oozing tissue and viscera. And then I woke up. Now I want to upgrade Crash Club to a B and give this dream a C - , because at least Crash Club was interesting.
From megalion: Help catch a criminal. Writes actress Pauley Perrette of NCIS, "This Saturday, Sept. 8th, 9pm on FOX is the show following me and America's Most Wanted all around in an attempt to help solve the two horrible murders of Raven Jeffries in Detroit and Shannon Paulk in Pratville, Alabama. It started when I put up reward money in these two cases, and has ended up being a life changing venture.... Please let as many people as possible know about the airing this Saturday night. Copy and paste this e-mail, talk about it in your blogs, carrier pigeon, smoke signals, tin cans on a string, whatever it takes. That's when the show works, the more people that watch, the better chance we have of getting the tip that could change everything."
Superstar tenor Pavarotti dies at 71.
Oscar winner Miyoshi Umeki dies at 78.
Author Norman Mailer hospitalized.
Myanmar Monks Said to Take Hostages.
Apple responds to iRate customers; Early iPhone buyers get $100 credit. They're still out another $100, though. Suckahhhs.
Trout restoration used wrong fish. Genius.
Facebook allows limited public searches. Which means that you need to take down the pictures of you getting hammered at a party and drawing funny faces on your ass before the bossman looks you up.
The Bob Dylan Message Generator.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the Mediocre Walloons.
Daniel Radcliffe as Doctor Who what?
More Golden Age pics at the Costumers Guide!
Images: Shoot 'Em Up, Across the Universe, Prince Caspian (mostly production art, no real stills), The Mist.
Ralph Fiennes to play Duke of Devonshire in Keira Knightley's Georgiana biopic.
Phillippe, Cornish and Bean in Viking Epic.
Sweeney Todd excerpt plays in Venice, and apparently Johnny Depp really can sing.
Cate Blanchett really is the best thing about I'm Not There.
Jodie Foster States Obvious, Blames Dina Lohan For Lindsay's Troubles. Also: Jodie Foster through the years.
Who's Creating the Wolfman?
Gael Garcia Bernal is 'Mammoth.'
Almodóvar Eyes Cruz for New Film.
Universal Calls Upon Jeff the Immortal.
Summit Acquires Penelope.
'Bad Lieutenant' Is Getting a Rewrite. But... why?
Indiana Jones Returns! If It’s Got A Press Kit, It Must Be Real.
Fanning Raises Jolly Roger For ‘True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle.’