By the time my sister was in grade school, we were at the point where some schools were phasing out merit-based awards because kids' feelings might be hurt. You know what? Fuck you. Sorry, but this really burns my toast, because in a world where no one values merit, neither is anyone given any incentive to surpass the status quo. I mean, why bother? Everyone's got the God-given right to receive the same dinky trophy, no more and no less, so why put forth any extra effort? Besides, you shouldn't have to--the awards should just come to you, because you're special. And I'm telling you, I instantly realized what fruit this policy had borne when I started watching American Idol in its first season and saw all those talentless, self-entitled, back-talking kids in the cattle-call auditions--kids who had just emerged from that wonderful cocoon of encouraged mediocrity. GAH.
I agree with everything here. It has always, always pissed me off that there's this special unique snowflake and you just tried so that was wonderful, now go have a cookie attitude. Fuck that. I started seeing the consequences of that when kids at my high school no longer felt shame for doing things wrong. Not breaking the rules, no, just having the wrong answer. Where did the shame go? I thought when you were called upon to answer a question and you didn't know, you were supposed to feel guilty, not own it and be all "Yeah, I'm ignorant. Jellus?"
And don't even get me started on this "red pen is harmful" crap. Teachers grade in purple because red pen hurts children's feelings. Boo-hoo. They made a mistake on a paper or a test. That is bad. It should sting so they have motivation to get better.
As an example, Twenge cited a song commonly sung to the tune of "Frere Jacques" in preschool: "I am special, I am special. Look at me."
Back in the day (4 years ago), there were requirements to get placed in a higher level science course in 8th grade. A year or two ago they got rid of that, because it hurt the feelings of the kids who didn't meet the requirements to get in. So now all these kids who really don't belong in honors level classes are in them, because no parents wanted to face the fact that their child isn't the next Nobel Prize winner.
Little league sports no longer keep score during games, and even some high school sports coaches are required to play every member of their team equally, no matter how awful the player is.
As they say in The Incredibles, "Saying everyone is special is just another way of saying no one is."
As an example, Twenge cited a song commonly sung to the tune of "Frere Jacques" in preschool: "I am special, I am special. Look at me."
O.O Jesus Christ...
I HATE this new beautiful, unique snowflake crap. If you tell your kid they deserve whatever they want just because they were born, you raise bratty, demanding, self-entitled monsters. There's nothing special about that.
Hahaha. In Communist-era schools, everything was always marked with red pen, and teachers were VERY strict. They had good prizes for winning contests or being exceptional students though - at least at my old school in Moscow, we got books as prizes :) I remember writing a hard exam in grade 4, to get into advanced class in grade 5. The Russian school system was excellent.
Last I heard though, they're starting to downgrade it to the North-American crap system, aaargh. :(
This is EXCELLENT. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Even in my own family, where I am the oldest and my youngest sibling is 8 years younger than me, we had a totally different educational experience due to these very practices. I worked hard, excelled and was rewarded, and there was healthy academic competition. Shame and guilt are great motivators. In my sister's class, it seemed that everyone was in Gifted and Talented; when I was in school, I was one of TWO in my school (my academic competitor.)
As they say in The Incredibles, "Saying everyone is special is just another way of saying no one is." Definitely on to something there. "No Child Left Behind" is all well and good, but how about cultivating the truly talented students in the public school system?
As an example, Twenge cited a song commonly sung to the tune of "Frere Jacques" in preschool: "I am special, I am special. Look at me." AUGH. This explains MySpace.
Okay, sanity check: Pre. School.
Despite agreeing with the general sentiment of the comments, I think the article itself is... not so well reported. I didn't really find the few presumably true/false questions they listed all that damning, honestly. "I can live my life any way I want to"? ONOEZ WHAT A TWISTED MINDSET D:
I mean, I'm sure there is evidence for the conclusion that kids are getting an inflated sense of their own abilities and what the world owes them. I just don't think this is it.
I think it's one thing to reward effort, in the sense that you should be able to earn an A in PE for showing up on time, dressed and ready to go and actually trying rather than saying "fuck this" and sitting on the sidelines. I'm not super athletic, but my teachers all appreciated my attitude and my effort, which was sometimes even better than that of the varsity athletes. And the same held true in orchestra, band, choir, that sort of thing- it wasn't necessarily your ability that mattered, it was more your attitude and the effort that you put into it. And I think that's valid, especially since what those classes are trying to teach can be learned even if you're not excellent at it. But you shouldn't earn an "A" just for showing up to AP English. When I was in elementary school, we had graduation from 6th grade (before moving up to Jr. High) and there were awards at the graduation. And you know what, those made me feel good about myself. And especially when those awards are academic- many kids who are good at their schoolwork aren't very popular, and awarding their effort in school helps them feel better about that. When I got to Jr. High and High School, not everyone got an award, but the awards were given out at special ceremonies, where everyone in attendance was receiving something. Some got more than others, and some received more significant awards. And actually, it was that way in college too, at "Honors Convocation." I think this works- it saves time at the graduation ceremony and makes it so that the deserving are honored, but the mediocre don't have it rubbed in their faces. It also does kids a disservice to make them believe they're good at something when they're not. Ok, no, you don't say "I'm sorry Johnny, but actually, your singing makes my feel like my ears are bleeding", but you can say "maybe your talents lie elsewhere..."
I actually was one of the smart kids who was earning all the "wow you're smart and special" praise before it was given out to everyone.
But do you know what else?
Being praised for that has only taught me to be lazy, because I honestly never had to put forth any effort. Granted, I was already good enough to score big on the tests without needing to expend any effort, but if I had had to work for it, I would have learned how to work for stuff, because my God am I suffering for not having learned that now.
I keep on thinking of a tale from Annie Dillard's "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" (which actually was also used on an episode of LOST once) where Dillard recalls one day in grade school, she found a moth struggling to squeeze out of a cocoon. Thinking she was helping, she cut the cocoon so the moth could get out. She watched and waited for its wings to unfold and dry out, but they never unfolded; they dried out as two shrivled humps on the moth's back, and were thus useless.
She realized, too late, that the reason that the moth actually should have squeezed out through the tiny hole in the cocoon was that that was what was supposed to have ironed the wings out; in helping it with that initial struggle, she had actually crippled it for life. The struggle was what made it strong and helped it grow.
Here from Metaquotes, with a slightly opposite tale (and hoping I don't sound too narcissistic here): My brother and I? We're smart. Not quite like Simon and River Tam, but we're up there. I was writing fairly sophisticated stories in third and fourth grade, and making all A's straight through my senior year at high school. He was starting to play around with algebra in fourth grade and calculus in seventh. We're smart kids here (he more so than I, clearly). But both of us are currently suffering from apathy towards school. I hit the "everyone is special" mentality in junior high, while he had to deal with it all through elementary. Now, I haven't had the benefit of a long conversation with him on this subject, but our thinking seems to be that no matter what we do, no matter how good we are, everyone else always gets awards too. We're never praised for good work. I got A's, the teachers sort of patted me on the head and then started praising the kid who got D's. He had it worse: he solved fifth-grade papers with algebra, and got bitched out by the teacher for doing work ahead of his class. I seriously wish I was kidding. Now, that last example may be a worst-case scenario, and certainly is more of a problem with the teacher than with an education system. I still know that neither of us really care anymore about doing our best. There isn't much of a point to it, because we'll get the same awards and applause as everyone else anyway. Granted, college is a vastly different enviroment and I'm recovering from this attitude with frequent beatings careful attention from my advisor. The problem is still affecting my brother a lot, though.
In second grade, I finished the story in reading group, and started in on the next one. The teacher noticed this, and asked me if I thought I was special or something. My mom reports that when I told her the story, I looked up then and said, "But I _am_ special!"
I agree with everything here. It has always, always pissed me off that there's this special unique snowflake and you just tried so that was wonderful, now go have a cookie attitude. Fuck that. I started seeing the consequences of that when kids at my high school no longer felt shame for doing things wrong. Not breaking the rules, no, just having the wrong answer. Where did the shame go? I thought when you were called upon to answer a question and you didn't know, you were supposed to feel guilty, not own it and be all "Yeah, I'm ignorant. Jellus?"
And don't even get me started on this "red pen is harmful" crap. Teachers grade in purple because red pen hurts children's feelings. Boo-hoo. They made a mistake on a paper or a test. That is bad. It should sting so they have motivation to get better.
As an example, Twenge cited a song commonly sung to the tune of "Frere Jacques" in preschool: "I am special, I am special. Look at me."
AUGH. This explains MySpace.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Back in the day (4 years ago), there were requirements to get placed in a higher level science course in 8th grade. A year or two ago they got rid of that, because it hurt the feelings of the kids who didn't meet the requirements to get in. So now all these kids who really don't belong in honors level classes are in them, because no parents wanted to face the fact that their child isn't the next Nobel Prize winner.
Little league sports no longer keep score during games, and even some high school sports coaches are required to play every member of their team equally, no matter how awful the player is.
As they say in The Incredibles, "Saying everyone is special is just another way of saying no one is."
Reply
Ahahahaha...you win at the Intarwebs.
I'd like to metaquote, with your permission.
Reply
Reply
http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/5890868.html
Reply
O.O Jesus Christ...
I HATE this new beautiful, unique snowflake crap. If you tell your kid they deserve whatever they want just because they were born, you raise bratty, demanding, self-entitled monsters. There's nothing special about that.
Reply
That's COMMUNISM. Obviously, the end of the Cold War is at fault here.
Reply
The Russian school system was excellent.
Last I heard though, they're starting to downgrade it to the North-American crap system, aaargh. :(
Reply
Even in my own family, where I am the oldest and my youngest sibling is 8 years younger than me, we had a totally different educational experience due to these very practices. I worked hard, excelled and was rewarded, and there was healthy academic competition. Shame and guilt are great motivators. In my sister's class, it seemed that everyone was in Gifted and Talented; when I was in school, I was one of TWO in my school (my academic competitor.)
As they say in The Incredibles, "Saying everyone is special is just another way of saying no one is." Definitely on to something there. "No Child Left Behind" is all well and good, but how about cultivating the truly talented students in the public school system?
Reply
AUGH. This explains MySpace.
Okay, sanity check:
Pre.
School.
Despite agreeing with the general sentiment of the comments, I think the article itself is... not so well reported. I didn't really find the few presumably true/false questions they listed all that damning, honestly. "I can live my life any way I want to"? ONOEZ WHAT A TWISTED MINDSET D:
I mean, I'm sure there is evidence for the conclusion that kids are getting an inflated sense of their own abilities and what the world owes them. I just don't think this is it.
Thread: 1, Source: 0
Reply
When I was in elementary school, we had graduation from 6th grade (before moving up to Jr. High) and there were awards at the graduation. And you know what, those made me feel good about myself. And especially when those awards are academic- many kids who are good at their schoolwork aren't very popular, and awarding their effort in school helps them feel better about that. When I got to Jr. High and High School, not everyone got an award, but the awards were given out at special ceremonies, where everyone in attendance was receiving something. Some got more than others, and some received more significant awards. And actually, it was that way in college too, at "Honors Convocation." I think this works- it saves time at the graduation ceremony and makes it so that the deserving are honored, but the mediocre don't have it rubbed in their faces.
It also does kids a disservice to make them believe they're good at something when they're not. Ok, no, you don't say "I'm sorry Johnny, but actually, your singing makes my feel like my ears are bleeding", but you can say "maybe your talents lie elsewhere..."
Reply
I actually was one of the smart kids who was earning all the "wow you're smart and special" praise before it was given out to everyone.
But do you know what else?
Being praised for that has only taught me to be lazy, because I honestly never had to put forth any effort. Granted, I was already good enough to score big on the tests without needing to expend any effort, but if I had had to work for it, I would have learned how to work for stuff, because my God am I suffering for not having learned that now.
I keep on thinking of a tale from Annie Dillard's "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" (which actually was also used on an episode of LOST once) where Dillard recalls one day in grade school, she found a moth struggling to squeeze out of a cocoon. Thinking she was helping, she cut the cocoon so the moth could get out. She watched and waited for its wings to unfold and dry out, but they never unfolded; they dried out as two shrivled humps on the moth's back, and were thus useless.
She realized, too late, that the reason that the moth actually should have squeezed out through the tiny hole in the cocoon was that that was what was supposed to have ironed the wings out; in helping it with that initial struggle, she had actually crippled it for life. The struggle was what made it strong and helped it grow.
Reply
My brother and I? We're smart. Not quite like Simon and River Tam, but we're up there. I was writing fairly sophisticated stories in third and fourth grade, and making all A's straight through my senior year at high school. He was starting to play around with algebra in fourth grade and calculus in seventh. We're smart kids here (he more so than I, clearly).
But both of us are currently suffering from apathy towards school. I hit the "everyone is special" mentality in junior high, while he had to deal with it all through elementary. Now, I haven't had the benefit of a long conversation with him on this subject, but our thinking seems to be that no matter what we do, no matter how good we are, everyone else always gets awards too. We're never praised for good work. I got A's, the teachers sort of patted me on the head and then started praising the kid who got D's. He had it worse: he solved fifth-grade papers with algebra, and got bitched out by the teacher for doing work ahead of his class. I seriously wish I was kidding.
Now, that last example may be a worst-case scenario, and certainly is more of a problem with the teacher than with an education system. I still know that neither of us really care anymore about doing our best. There isn't much of a point to it, because we'll get the same awards and applause as everyone else anyway.
Granted, college is a vastly different enviroment and I'm recovering from this attitude with frequent beatings careful attention from my advisor. The problem is still affecting my brother a lot, though.
Reply
In second grade, I finished the story in reading group, and started in on the next one. The teacher noticed this, and asked me if I thought I was special or something. My mom reports that when I told her the story, I looked up then and said, "But I _am_ special!"
Reply
Leave a comment