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May 21, 2006 22:44


Okay, I have seen The Da Vinci Code, which has already grossed more money worldwide on its opening weekend than Revenge of the Sith did. It was... less boring than I expected. Actually, since we're talking about Star Wars already, I spent a good deal of the Obi-Wan Fights a Coughing Sith Droid While Riding a Chinese Dragon sequence hoping for death, since sleep was impossible at that noise level. It just seemed to go on and on and on, lightsaber fight after lightsaber fight and where are we, again? Why are we here? Why do I care? Well, The Da Vinci Code did not make me pray for death. I stayed awake the whole time. I liked the score, because I have a weakness for Hans Zimmer (and it reminded me of the score he did for Hannibal, actually, although with less lovelorn cannibal opera). The movie is, however, talky as all hell; pack a lunch for the scene where Ian McKellen goes to town on The Last Supper. I guess I'd heard so much about it that I was expecting it to be far, far worse. I would be perfectly happy never seeing it again (as opposed to MI3, where I actually did want to see it again, particularly on a big screen), but I don't feel like I wasted my money. You could wait for this one on DVD and not miss much. Spoilers, in case you want to satisfy your curiosity: McKellen/Teabing is the Teacher. He collaborated with "the enemy," Opus Dei, which was trying to kill off the guardians of the Grail secret--members of the Priory of Sion--so that no one would ever find out that Mary Magdalene was Jesus's babymama. Except that Teabing does want everyone to find out so that the world will be freed from the oppression of the Catholic church. So he was using Opus Dei to get his hands on the cryptex which reveals where the tomb of Mary Magdalene (aka "the Grail") is, which would provide "empirical proof" of who her descendants are. Now, how they're going to prove they're Jesus's descendants, I don't know. The solution to the cryptex is APPLE--I think I heard that in the book it was actually SOFIA--because Sir Isaac Newton member of the Priory of Sion lots of orbs apple fall on his head blah blah blee. Langdon tricks Teabing into thinking he (Langdon) guessed the wrong combination--therefore destroying the parchment inside the cryptex--but removes it first, and he and Sophie go to the church of Ros[e]lin[e] to discover that... the tomb ain't there, but Sophie's the last descendant of Christ, and Langdon's all like, "Well, shit, I can't tap that now," and he suddenly realizes apropos of nothing in particular ("I cut myself shaving! Blood line! Rose line! I know! THE LOUVRE!") that Mary Magdalene's tomb is hidden under the Louvre pyramids, where... pretty much no one will ever get to it. Woe.

"Idol" sends "Lost" to new ratings low. Well, shit, people! Look, Taylor's going to win. And I'm not just saying that because we're both from Birmingham; I can't even figure out how he got this far. But we all know he's going to win!  This is not a big surprise! Tivo Idol and watch Lost, for God's sake! Our favorite Scirishman will be back! Also, there will be robot pirate ninjas. Well, I don't actually know that there will be, but of the two shows, which one do you think would be able to deliver on that promise?

Elizabeth: The Golden Age. These are on-set shots from--Thursday, I think? I am stupid excited about this. Also, please notice what has got to be Clive Owen (playing Walter Raleigh) laying down his cloak for Her Cateness. Also, Geoffrey Rush appears to be back as Barbossingham Walsingham as well.

Question: I know that the ruffly-pleaty thing around her neckline is called a ruff. But what do you call the transparent veily thing on the giant heart-shaped frame behind her?

Excellent V/15M text  icons from madamtorsion.

Dreamgirls clips set Cannes on fire.

And then they made him their chief: more POTC2 stills.

More stills: Miami Vice, Superman Returns, Lady in the Water (plus a poster).

And now I'm off to write up my notes, of which there are many, because it was a long damn movie.








spoilers, icons, movie discussion, movies, pirates of the caribbean, the golden age

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