"The day has been eventful"

[cleolinda]

@cleolinda: Anxious about doctor visit. Have to go, don't want to go.

@cleolinda: I'll talk about it more elsewhere, rather than inflict the details on everyone. It's a pro-active effort, not serious illness

Comments

[apey1013]

Jeez, Cleo, I'm so sorry you've been going through all of this! This is some heavy stuff and I 100% say your health and emotional well-being come before any deadlines always and forever.

I'm crying a little as I type this because while I haven't had your kind of experience, I have been bullied by doctors. Except for needles, I was always pretty okay with doctors as a kid. In my adult years, though, I've had a few incidents which have left me paranoid and distrustful of doctors and always ready to be made to feel awful when I go. You know when you go to the doctor and they put you in the room and it takes AGES for someone to actually come in and see you? Last couple of times I went to the doctor I was near tears and ready to sprint out the door by the time the doctor finally showed. I had a couple of pelvic exams in college (thankfully, the doc at the student center was a nice older lady) but I've never had an actual full gyno check-up and I'm terrified that by the time I actually have a job and health insurance again I won't be able to bring myself to make the appointment.

So, thanks for writing about your experiences. You absolutely didn't have to - you do not owe us anything regarding your health - but I appreciate reading what other women have to say about these sorts of things because our society rarely talks openly about these things.

[cleolinda]

Aw, I'm so sorry you went through that. I've read tons of stories of people getting treated like shit by doctors because of their weight, also, which filled me with extra dread. I was really surprised that they didn't comment on my weight at all yesterday--she advised a low-sugar diet and exercise in the context of pre-diabetes thing, she never once said "because you obviously need to lose weight." It was like she just... trusted my intelligence enough to know that was true, and to prioritize treating the hormonal conditions and let everything else fall into place? I really, really appreciated that.

I appreciate reading what other women have to say about these sorts of things because our society rarely talks openly about these things

I am very, very private about a lot of things--again, as people have noticed--but it was important to me to be like "vaginismus, nbd" here. I really have no idea at what point I stopped being ashamed of it--several years ago, I guess--but it's a feeling I'd like to pay forward.