"The day has been eventful"

[cleolinda]

@cleolinda: Anxious about doctor visit. Have to go, don't want to go.

@cleolinda: I'll talk about it more elsewhere, rather than inflict the details on everyone. It's a pro-active effort, not serious illness

Comments

[scornedsaint]

Oh my goodness, this hurt to read but thank you for posting it. And thank you for reiterating that it is okay to question your doctor if you don't like what's happening. I think it's hard for a lot of people because it's like "Well...they went to school for this, so they must know more than me" (this is also the problem I have when interacting with hairstylists.) I only recently got up the courage to tell my doctor about how painful pap smears are for me -- not due to vaginismus, just things are apparently more narrowly-set down there than average -- so they used the pediatric speculum instead and the doctor said he was glad I told him because they didn't want me to be uncomfortable. And I think a good doctor would want to know that shit, because every body is different and there are some reactions they can't anticipate. ...But you obviously had a horrifically bad one, good god. I'm morbidly curious to know if she's still practicing

[editornia]

OMG, something called a 'pediatric speculum' exists? I *so* have to ask my doctor for that next time! Thank you for mentioning it!!

[scornedsaint]

They do! The practice I go to isn't in associated with a family/pediatric one, so presumably it must be something that all offices have around even if they don't see pediatric patients.

(Honestly, speculums were always terrifying to me, but ESPECIALLY after that part in Tina Fey's memoirs where she describes it as looking like a milkshake machine.)

[litlover12]

Yeah, I had the pediatric one too. My gyno this time said, "I'm going to use the smallest one I have" and then she saw me having MAJOR PAIN and was like ". . . You know what, there's one even smaller" and whipped out the pediatric one. Thank heaven for it!!

[cleolinda]

Thanks--I was afraid it might be upsetting for people to read, yeah. Particularly if they'd had problems of their own before, or related triggers. I teared up a few times while writing it, honestly. But I also feel good about having written it?

I honestly don't know if she's practicing still, but I know she's not at that particular clinic. I found it odd that EVERY SINGLE PERSON I spoke to--who asked who I'd seen before, I did not go out of my way to mention her--said "That WAS a long time ago." Considering everything else, it was... strange.

(Seriously, the mammogram tech COULD NOT GET OVER what I told her.)

[fiveforsilver]

After my last pap, they suggested I should ask them to use the extra-long speculum because that might make things less painful for me. I didn't even realize there were options in sizing.

I need to find a new gyn, though, because the nurse practitioner I was seeing retired, and then the next one I started seeing moved to a different practice, and the actual gyn there is awful. Not as awful as Cleo's story (holy crap, what a nightmare! I'm so sorry you went through all that!) but she tried to upsell me to a different IUD while I was sitting on the table in the hospital gown waiting for her to put it in. I had done my research, too, so I knew the stuff she was telling me about the one I chose was not true. Some people, I can't even...

[rufinia]

I once had one that took one look, poked gently and went "yeah, you need long and skinny" and it was the least uncomfortable one I've ever had.

[foresthouse]

Yeah, I know at least the first time I went they used a small one and it still hurt. But the good doctors want to know that!

On a weird fiction-related note, has anyone read The Godfather? The chapter about Lucy and the doctor is weirdly relevant, and reading it at a fairly young age actually helped me be aware early on that we're all built differently and sometimes things go wrong and its better to know than just be ashamed of it. (Yet another reason to read the original books on which movies are based, lol). Thanks, Mario Puzo? Heh.

Re: The Godfather

[vermouth1991]

*raises hand*

I have! (Although I'm a bloke) And yeah, that extended (as compared with the film version) subplot of Lucy and Sonny's affair and how she coped with his death was a really interesting read. I wouldn't know if there's any medical accuracy to her "condition" and the treatment thereof, but the emotional journey she went through was really great. I'm glad to see that she found happiness in the end.

Oh, and book!Carlo was an even bigger DV creep than he was in the film. In the film it was made that he "strayed" after Connie was pregnant, but the novel tells us that he struck her on the first night, just to get to the bridal purse.