"The day has been eventful"

[cleolinda]

@cleolinda: Anxious about doctor visit. Have to go, don't want to go.

@cleolinda: I'll talk about it more elsewhere, rather than inflict the details on everyone. It's a pro-active effort, not serious illness

Comments

[litlover12]

Oh, Cleo. My heart goes out to you. There's something about gynecologists . . . whether you have the right one or the wrong one makes ALL the difference, much more so than with other kinds of doctors.

I had a somewhat similar experience but on a much less horrific level -- went to a bad one (though not as bad as yours), was traumatized, and then put off the next one for many years. And then this summer I had to go again and I found one who was SO nice and good and helpful. The exam still hurt like a son-of-a-gun (celibate 39-year-old here, yeah, that's gonna hurt) but her kindness and patience made such a difference in the experience. I literally would have hugged her out of gratitude, only I didn't want to freak her out -- that's how much of a difference it makes.

All that to say, I understand and sympathize, and I'm so glad you feel a little more hopeful now and that you were treated better. Hoping and praying they can help you deal with this thing.

(I've also had to do the fill-up-your-bladder-really-fast thing. Oh, what fun THAT is. I've literally been reduced to drinking out of the bathroom sink and then scuttling back to the toilet. Good times.)

[cleolinda]

Thanks. It's interesting--there is just something about pelvic exam pain that is upsetting on a completely separate level. And what really took me aback, I think, was that she was fine the first time. It wasn't like, "this is a terrible doctor and you should never go back." I'm just repeating myself at this point, but yeah, it does a number on your head in a way that "going to the walk-in clinic for flesh-eating catbitis" doesn't, even though they cheerfully gave me shit for not coming in sooner and had a younger doctor come in to witness the administration of ~THE CLINDA~ antibiotic. Like, that was just funny, because I didn't feel like my worth as a person or a woman was involved or anything.

[dragonpaws]

Chiming in about pelvic exam pain being psychologically disturbing in a completely unique way. I have vulvar vestibulitis (another fun vulvar pain syndrome, yay!) and basically every exam for it I just lay there and cry. Not intentionally, and it is hideously embarrassing, but something about hurting there while spread out helpless on a table and some stranger is touching me... it really gets to me. And I have been through multiple cycles of IVF treatment with calm and good cheer, even though that is painful and humiliating in its own special way, so it is definitely an effect unique to pelvic pain.

I can also chime in with my own idiot doctor story! When I was first having VVS pain, I stupidly went to my family GP (I was 19?) who very obviously had no clue whatsoever (I mean he had to consult an anatomical atlas before examining me. URGH). Out of the blue during the exam, he suggested that I should get investigated for hirsuitism because I was "so hairy" down there, which... ... ...wasn't what I came in there about? And made me really uncomfortable, because I didn't expect to be getting some strange middle aged man's opinion of my public hair? He then opined that my pain was because of a "deformed urethra" and I would probably need surgery. That really made clear to me why specialists are so useful. In a way, I was lucky he was SO obviously clueless, because otherwise I might have taken him seriously and gotten myself pointlessly mutilated.

[dragonpaws]

*pubic hair, obviously. Though I also find it weird if strange men comment on my hair that is publicly visible.

I appreciate you being so open about this, even though it is hard- It is so important to be reminded that you have to be your own advocate for medical care.

[meleth]

I had to get a colposcopy last year, and it was upsetting. I'm normally pretty chill during a cervical exam, for whatever reason, but the colposcopy involved two doctors, a camera on a weird stand thing, and a TV (so I could see my own cervix, which was pretty cool). If both doctors involved hadn't been amazing and reassuring the whole time, I'm pretty sure I would have cried, and everything would have been painful and traumatizing.