(no subject)
so after that rather happy last post
an uninviting name pops up on my screen ...... ian
i dont suppose i am any less happy due to the conversation but my urge for him to see me and fall madly in love with me so i can make him feel the pain that i have been and still am feeling is so greatly hightened!
i hate that i know where he is going to be tonight and now that is all i shall think about how i could accidently on purpose bu,p in to him and nothing would change except for i might get a little less crazy and he might actually be out of my mind for a while
i hate that forced closure is what i need!
because yes you dumped me in a text message and i ahve not seen you since
and all i want is to see you
and i know then you will not fall in love with me but atleast i know you have to look me in the eye after treating me like shit and maybe that might have some effect on you even just the slightest inkling in the back of your mind to make you think wow " i actually am an ass" just for a split second.
and even if it dosn't atleast i can think it will
and maybe get on with my life
and stop searching for you
and start searching for me
god damn closure
an uninviting name pops up on my screen ...... ian
i dont suppose i am any less happy due to the conversation but my urge for him to see me and fall madly in love with me so i can make him feel the pain that i have been and still am feeling is so greatly hightened!
i hate that i know where he is going to be tonight and now that is all i shall think about how i could accidently on purpose bu,p in to him and nothing would change except for i might get a little less crazy and he might actually be out of my mind for a while
i hate that forced closure is what i need!
because yes you dumped me in a text message and i ahve not seen you since
and all i want is to see you
and i know then you will not fall in love with me but atleast i know you have to look me in the eye after treating me like shit and maybe that might have some effect on you even just the slightest inkling in the back of your mind to make you think wow " i actually am an ass" just for a split second.
and even if it dosn't atleast i can think it will
and maybe get on with my life
and stop searching for you
and start searching for me
god damn closure