The little orange submarine has come to take me away...
I finally feel like I am taking the necessary steps towards fixing myself.
My drive to do well in school is returning and I am trying to hold on to it for dear life. I feel like I am at a make or break point collegiately and I really don't want to break. I have been playing this college game for nearly 4 years now and for the most part I don't have much to show for it. Granted, the past year or so of my life has been filled with more turmoil than bliss, but certain events that have occurred in the past couple months have given me a bit of a boost and I tend to ride that out as long as possible.
My house is depressing as all hell. Almost everyday I come home to fights, arguments, and (moreso than anything else) the nearly unanswerable questions of "What are you doing with your life?" "Where do you plan on going from here?" "How do you plan on paying for your education?" and the all to familiar statement, "We are sick and tired of throwing away money on classes you end up dropping." - The sad thing is that most of the time (nearly always) I don't know how to respond to these inquiries.
I want to do well, and I want to be out on my own, and more than anything I want to get the hell out of Lakeland and move on to a University and get a degree and start living real life... Financially though, these goals are much easier dreamed/spoken about than put into action.
I want to claim myself as an independent in order to get better student loans, but the paranoia my Mother has been drilling into my brain about health insurance and so on and so forth has definitely taken it's toll, and sank in much farther than it ever should have. I feel like risking two years with no health care to come out with a bachelor's degree seems like a much better idea than letting them hold over my head the fact that I can't handle the real world on my own.
I am 22 years old, and I know I have faults, but I know that I can make it all work out if I was given the chance.
On a lighter note, a certain female has sauntered her way into my life and, in all honesty, has made me feel so much better about myself than I can remember. It's nice to finally find someone who appreciates me for who I am and not what I could be.... And I can't thank her enough for that.
Change is coming fast. Good change.
My drive to do well in school is returning and I am trying to hold on to it for dear life. I feel like I am at a make or break point collegiately and I really don't want to break. I have been playing this college game for nearly 4 years now and for the most part I don't have much to show for it. Granted, the past year or so of my life has been filled with more turmoil than bliss, but certain events that have occurred in the past couple months have given me a bit of a boost and I tend to ride that out as long as possible.
My house is depressing as all hell. Almost everyday I come home to fights, arguments, and (moreso than anything else) the nearly unanswerable questions of "What are you doing with your life?" "Where do you plan on going from here?" "How do you plan on paying for your education?" and the all to familiar statement, "We are sick and tired of throwing away money on classes you end up dropping." - The sad thing is that most of the time (nearly always) I don't know how to respond to these inquiries.
I want to do well, and I want to be out on my own, and more than anything I want to get the hell out of Lakeland and move on to a University and get a degree and start living real life... Financially though, these goals are much easier dreamed/spoken about than put into action.
I want to claim myself as an independent in order to get better student loans, but the paranoia my Mother has been drilling into my brain about health insurance and so on and so forth has definitely taken it's toll, and sank in much farther than it ever should have. I feel like risking two years with no health care to come out with a bachelor's degree seems like a much better idea than letting them hold over my head the fact that I can't handle the real world on my own.
I am 22 years old, and I know I have faults, but I know that I can make it all work out if I was given the chance.
On a lighter note, a certain female has sauntered her way into my life and, in all honesty, has made me feel so much better about myself than I can remember. It's nice to finally find someone who appreciates me for who I am and not what I could be.... And I can't thank her enough for that.
Change is coming fast. Good change.