i should know better.....
it's never a good idea to update when Im so emotional, yet I sit at my keyboard and continue to type....
yesterday was my birthday. It was the most unbelievable day of my life. I feel so loved, like nothing ever before. The day was planned around me, we went to breakfast, napped around a bit, then went and got a wonderful and relaxing message... next we drank some beringer then went to see dukes of hazzard. now here's the kicker: we went and got ready (all fancy dressed and stuff.....) then we had a reservation at 8 for St. Johns Restraunt. For those who don't know or may not be from the area.... It is a very expensive restraunt in downtown. The food is all so delicious. they serve 3 course meals and the most amazing chocolate martini. Our bill was well over $100 and anyway.... to say the least I felt pampered all day long.
on the other hand.... tonight was matts last night at chilis.... i took him a cake and stuff and it was all very touching. I can't believe the time has actually come... I've known Matt for a year and have known all along that he was going to knoxville. it's been in the future and now that fate is not so far. he cried tonight. (i have been for a few days) I try so hard to be strong for him, but I'm not. I'm weak, so weak. He says it'll be ok and that we love each other, so thats why it we're gonna work through it. The most precious things we have, the ones we hold so dear to our hearts, are the ones we have to work for. The harder something is to attain, the tighter you'll hold on once you have it in your grasps.
I can't dwell on this anymore tonight.... I'll have plenty of time for that after he leaves...
"Breathing is a foreign task and thinkings just too much to ask, and youre measuring your minutes by a clock thats blinking 8's" - Dashboard