Now That I've Survived My Teaching Demo...
[
mood
|
accomplished
]
[
music
|
brazilian girls - don't stop (project runway mix)
]
Yes.... I can hardly believe it myself. >_<
Hahahaha who would have thought the day would come... Tasha teaching mothers for my group's idiotic intervention program. XD
But seriously though... no other acad thing is remotely as hard as the teaching demo. Getting the comic strip and all the other visuals was just half the torture... speaking in tagalog. Ugh! That cursed language. Let's just say that despite all the efforts I placed in the visuals I still bombed the report. There is no audience tougher than a bunch of disgruntled blockmates and an astronomically demanding Doctor Querubin.
Haaay.... another situation in which I proved to myself that I CANNOT speak in tagalog to save my life. Ah... I can't be good at everything I do and since teaching's on my priority list of things to NOT do I refuse to even think of beating myself over badly for my cretinous execution. Oh well at least I'm not goint to have to repeat. Yes, what really matters is what my teacher said about my visual aids and my excellent comic strip! *woot!* Apparently I can still draw. But the best part about finishing my teaching demo is not having to think about it anymore. No more anxiety attacks, no more can I speak tagalog well enough to pull me through, no more emergency national bookstore runs, no more getting pressed for time for consultations, no more trips to the uber out of my way OVCRD. *sigh* I'm so glad that's over.
I can now move on to the other less stressful but equally harassing situations. *woot!* No deadline or exam free day save for Sunday til the 31st. Of course April won't be friendly either. Ugh! 3 deadlines on the first 4 days of April but after the teaching demo in tagalog I'm pretty sure getting through everything else is possible.
-----
Because the Tasha will ALWAYS love to complain:
I would like to personally wring your neck and drown you in a pool of acid. OK so that's taking it a bit too far considering that we're the only group that was able to pass our Diabetes Exercise on time. But really when everyone hasn't had sleep and is equally pressed for time, no one is in the position to make complains about the workload. Ngyark! I sound like a certain crazy chinese robot. The world must have frozen over. But seriously though I despise deadweight groupmates and absolutely abhor groupmates who aside from being useless still cannot comply to greatly adjusted work divisions that are quite obviously suited to his wanting capabilities. Had we distributed the work between only three members, we might have submitted the report even earlier. Really all the compaining and drama gets sickening and as for mediocrity... I'd really rather not tolerate.
Egads! NOW i REALLY sound like the crazy chinese robot. It's genetic. Hahahaha after all she is something like my adopted achie. :p
-----
Now that my teaching demo's behind me I realized that my acads have helped me immensely in screen so many unwanted thoughts and even discard all the horribly familiar emotions that I've grown to fear. Honestly, I'm feeling a bit crummy... *sigh* I should all people should know that the sin of omission is just as grave as any. I've known for a while now... and while I'd like to say that my apathy was borne purely of an obsession to get through finals season.... it'd be lying and I've done too much of that.
In the light recent events... I will admit to it being deliberate. I know no amount of good intentions can make up for that sorry fact. Being caught in between doing what's best and being a good friend is not at all easy and deathly confusing.
But for now whatever it is you're going through... I'll be here to share the burden... no matter what. Please always remember that despite it all knowing that you still trust me with your life.... well... it's cathartic. Even when I know I don't deserve it. :)
-----
I never really thought about it much when I made the note for Cathy but now that I've had time to sort out I finally understand why what I thought was a very mundane action got interpreted as an act of wondrous kindness and eternal forgiveness. Fact of the matter is I did it for Cathy ALONE. I'm happy for her and her forthcoming graduation. Handing it to you doesn't mean I approve of you. And if it has turn into something reminiscent of what has come to pass... remember that I've done this twice and though it might get too old if it happens a third time, I will not be any less ruthless.
Geeez! Sometimes I really don't know what's worse insecure idiots putting whatever f*ck*d up meanings to my actions or other equally braindead idiots who never seem to get the picture and apparently see me as some sort of angel of mercy.
-----
On a higher note... I think the recent reduction of things to worry about has merely ushered into a corresponding flooding of screened and muted emotions. It's never easy to process the events of a few weeks past during the first few hours or even days of the deluge. It surprises me how unfeeling I was for the past few weeks... I don't particularly like being mechanical but I guess sometimes it's something that has to happen to actually get work done. You simply have to deny you are tired, deny you are bothered by certain things, deny that you want nothing more than to do anything else.... but I guess what I learned from all this is that despite making a person frighteningly efficient denial isn't always a good thing. It's so easy to get lost in all the lies you feed yourself.... and sometimes certain situations have played out to show me one glaring truth I am my biggest victim. So as Meredith puts it... "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean." Really how do you NOT drown?
But as for some true things... there really is no denying. It's just nice to know that some things will NEVER be lost to you no matter what. I guess that's something that will always applicable to all things that are true. I attribute surviving this crazy week to that thought alone and despite all the acad hell that I've been through and the many more hellish things I have to face I still cannot believe how good life is. :)
Yes, life is still unbelievably good and despite always being a little rough around the edges it's still hard to believe that I can be this happy. :)
[EDIT]: I just realized... someone just marched today. Hahaha wish i....
"I've got a black and blue hangover. Darling for you, darling I do..."