Do you act/Will you be Discreet?
Recently my mother and father met my boyfriend of a year and a half for the second time. The first time they met was just past our first year anniversary, my family, my boyfriend and I met in a restaurant so we could eat dinner and flee if it became too uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable, but we got through it. Next meeting. After being
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Between the two, I personally would go and introduce "my boyfriend." :)
If your parents want "almost you" to come visit, that means they don't want the real you. Having come from another version of a religiously uncompromising background, I finally learned that maintaining the illusion of "almost me" did no one any good -- especially me. It just meant that I was helping perpetrate a lie.
Take it from me -- if you keep enabling the lie of "almost you," there will not be progress, not in a few years or ever. Your family's trying to set the terms of your relationship, and if you agree to them now, it'll be that much harder to change them in the future.
You're *not* an embarrassment, but if you introduce your boyfriend as your boyfriend, it sounds like your family will be embarrassed. But only because they seem determined to be. Just have some plan for dealing with the aftermath of refusing to hide the real you. My approach has always been not to treat it as some big deal, but to seem very willing to talk about it and answer any questions that come up. There's nothing like a homo willing to talk about his life that's as effective at making narrow-minded folks shut their mouths.
And if people get *really* upset, leave. At least that's what I would do. So no, I wouldn't be "discreet." :)
Good luck!
Mike B.
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