Happy Bastille Day
One of my scariest moments in life was on Bastille Day. My mom had sent me to France for the summer. I stayed with a family that I didn’t know. I was a very shy 13 years old. The family I stayed with tried to make me feel at home. They included me in everything. They were very solicitous. It wasn’t their fault that I was painfully shy. For those of you out there who are or have been shy, you’ll know what I mean by “painfully shy.” I could never quite narrow down the source of the pain. Was it in my head or my heart? Maybe it was both. All I knew was shyness and traveling abroad and staying with people you didn’t know HURT!
So imagine my surprise and relief when we traveled to the coast and visited Europe’s largest natural sand dune. Arcachon was a delightful town with adorable shops, happy tourists and topless sunbathers. I really can’t tell you specifically what I liked about Arcachon, but I was charmed immediately. After hoofing 107 meters to the top of the dune, we went shopping. I headed off with the father, Guy, the 19 yr old daughter, Sophie, and the 13 yr old daughter, Isabelle. The mother, Mama (I seriously don’t think I ever knew her name), and the 16 yr old daughter, Laurence, went elsewhere. Sophie wanted a new bikini so we ducked into a quaint little boutique where the sales girl grabbed dozens of suits from the displays for Sophie to try on. Most of them were see-through and Guy would turn red and bluster every time his daughter came out to model one. I bought a pair of cream colored, peak-toed, linen sling backs. Very grown up! And an adorable lavender colored straw purse (that I still have and my daughter has borrowed, btw). The purse was made by a company called, Printemps. Sophie told me printemps meant spring. For some 13-year-old reason, that made me very happy. I was buying grown up things, in France, I knew their French names, and I was finally happy to be there.
We visited Arcachon on Bastille Day. The city of Arcachon threw a huge block party to celebrate their country’s independence. The family reunited and we made our way to (what I remember as) the town square to enjoy live bands and to dance. We weaved through the crush of people and then we snaked through the crowd to get elsewhere. Because of the language barrier, I didn’t know why we were weaving and snaking I just followed, until the moment when the crowd closed in between the rest of the family and me. I stepped around the people who’d cut me off, but I’d already lost site of the few people I knew. I’m only 5’2” so not only do I disappear in a crowd quickly, I get claustrophobic because it feels like my air is cut off by those towering over me. Such was the case in Arcachon on Bastille Day. I am very, very proud of the fact that I did not freak out, scream, cry or generally panic…on the outside. But, let me assure you, I was doing all of that inside. I just kept walking. In the general direction the others had disappeared in.
It was late enough in the evening that plenty of people were drunk. My panicky self saw men leering at me. I might have spotted a werewolf or a lecher in the crowd, not that I knew what a lecher was, but I knew it was not something mothers wanted their little girls to spot in crowds. I didn’t speak French so I couldn’t ask anyone what to do, plus I knew walking up to someone and saying “I’ve been separated from my group” would compromise my already tenuous safety. I made my way out of the crowd to stand at a corner of a building so that I could see people coming and going around me. I began to imagine myself lost forever in that charming-turned-nightmarish city. Then all at once the family found me and I pretended like it wasn’t a big deal and I fought the urge to burst into tears and clutch Laurence’s hand, because she was the most sympathetic of the family.
I don’t remember anything else about that day, but I think that’s enough. For some semi-masochistic reason, I still remember Arcachon and Bastille Day fondly. I guess in some small way, I found a bit of my own independence that day. Vive La France!