Grace
Last week a woman came into the Habitat for Humanity office, where I work, to pick up a video class we offer on financial planning. She is a Habitat homeowner and her family attends the same church as my family, so I’m well acquainted with her. Her husband has been battling leukemia for a while now. He received a bone marrow transplant a few months back and I asked how everything was going. Obviously, this was a heavy conversation.
We spoke about their devastated finances, the reason she was picking up the video series. She shared that she’d also taken a business class, hoping for some insight on how to financially get through this event and that she listened to the financial complaints of others in the class thinking, “You don’t have money trouble. You don’t even really understand money trouble.”
We touched on the struggles they’ve had raising their 14-year-old son. The parents spent a month up in Portland for the transplant and their son stayed with friends but by the time Mom got home, son was causing some trouble. As she was telling me this I thought, “Really can you blame him? He is a freshman in high school whose father is in the fight of his life and he’s expected to live with friends and carry on.” I know you can’t accept delinquent behavior, but there are circumstances you can understand it. I’m guessing the woman has even had times she would like to act out in anger and frustration but she’s supposed to have the maturity to deal. A 14-year-old boy? Not as likely.
She explained exhaustion and frustration and fear. Oh my goodness, did she explain fear. She told me how before her husband went in for the transplant, they made sure his life was ready to end. All paperwork was done; wills, deeds, photos taken, and letters written. All bills other than the extreme medical bills were paid. And she and their son said their final goodbyes to the man they knew as husband and father because there was a distinct possibility he would not survive the procedure.
Then she explained how her husband wakes up with a smile everyday because he didn’t expect to get this day. When people ask him if he is mad that he has this disease he says he is thankful because he has never been so close to his Lord. He says to truly walk with the Lord you must understand suffering. That statement shook my very core.
This beautiful woman told me of all this struggle and difficulty in a quiet, calm voice. Tears streamed down our cheeks as we held this deep, touching conversation. Co-workers and volunteers walked past and allowed us our time to complete our talk. As we wrapped up, she said, almost in passing, they do sometimes ask themselves, ‘Why them? Why are they burdened?’ It was a rhetorical question. It wasn’t meant to solicit sympathy, she was just being honest that they do occasionally question why. I told her though I don’t know why they’ve been given such trials, her never-failing grace, her beauty and elegance, and her unshakable faith have touched me deeply in a way that has changed me. I hope that helps her in some small way when she is experiencing one of those darker moments.
When faced with horrendous circumstances, when faced with death, many people do rise to the challenge and crawl through the mire. But there are the occasional people who under intense pressure are made into diamonds. Their incredible strength shines and sparkles and is a beauty to admire. This woman is a diamond. This woman is grace.