May 24, 2006 01:18
I'm not entirely sure how real this entry will actually be, per se. I feel that it's been awhile since I've posted anything besides mundane surveys and poorly written poetry, and I have nothing better to do, so I figured that I may as well take the time to create an update in this "journal" that nearly anybody who chooses to can read, and I've definately had people stumble across this before (parents, girlfriend's parents, friends, teachers, etc.).
Well, I guess I'll start with announcing that I graduated from college about two and a half weeks ago...god, has it been that long? I feel pretty safe in saying that life is going to go a lot quicker from now on. I'm glad that I finally graduated (five years is too long for an undergraduate degree, that's for certain), but I can't help but feel that I could have done so much better if I had used my time differently, possibly not joining the fraternity, or even had gone to an entirely different school altogether. I know that I shouldn't think like that if for no other reason than there is absolutely nothing I can do about what happened over the past five years, and that I shouldn't dwell upon such futile thoughts. In addition to that, I would never have met many great friends, and even more not so great friends, and if for nothing else, EIU really blessed me with giving me the opportunity to do so. Plus it truly was a fun place to be, most of the time.
I'm currently (and once again) working for the Park District as night maintainence - a job that I had vowed to never do again, simply because it was, well, below me. After ignoring phone calls from Capital One for overdue credit card bills for about a month and a half, though, I figured that I had to swallow my pride and take the job that can truly drive a man insane (particularly thirteen hour days). I did manage to pay my credit card bill off enough to actually have them stop calling me today, though, so I can once again ignore the financial hardships that I'm currently facing.
I don't get paid enough for the job I do. While it may be easy enough most of the time, a college graduate should not have to be a garbage man for the park district and get paid pennies for it. I personally feel like it's relatively demeaning.
I turn 23 on Saturday. I suppose that I'll make it another year; shocking, I know.
Things have changed so much over the years. I look back to my senior year of high school and all the people I hung out with, and while my closest friends and I are still close, regardless of living across the country, many people that I used to consider good friends have all but vanished from my life, leaving only facebook to get a vague impression of what they're doing after they finished college a year before I did. I think about those people a lot, sometimes even Jodi. Strange, I know, but I'm genuinely curious as to how they're doing and what they've been up to. I do take comfort in the fact that I still have that group of friends that I still keep in regular contact with, though, simply because it gives me hope for leaving college. I've accepted the fact that I'm probably not going to see people from college again (especially those that weren't in my fraternity), but I know that there will be a select few that I will forever keep in contact with. In fact, the two groups of close friends have started to merge slightly, and they all seem to get along well enough. I'm sure that 15 friends from High School and college will never all hang out at the same time, but if I want to hang out w/ Bix and Moses along with Coz and Maloy, I'm sure that there would be no problem with that. I guess that's growing up: holding onto a select few that really made a difference in your life. Hell, who knows, maybe five years from now I'll have an entirely new set of friends and never see anybody from either high school or college again, but I have my doubts with that, especially because AIM is so abundantly used in our current generation.
I'm still living with my parents, which has both its benefits and pitfalls, but the price is right, and food is always available, so I'm content to stay here for awhile, and by awhile, I mean until I can get a job that will pay enough for me to actually live on my own, whether it be in Oak Park (I plan to never live in Oak Park again after May 2007, that's a guarantee), Tinley Park, or Schaumberg. Until that day, though, my only goal is to have enough money to pay all my bills with enough for crazy nights out on my days off and be able to occasionally visit friends living South of here. I guess I really can't complain about life, however trivial it seems to be right now (wake up, workout, work, bed, repeat). I could be doing so much worse right now, and I truly am blessed. I'm (almost) 23, I have a college degree, I am going to get a real job and until then I can still afford to pay my bills, I have a loving family, my friends are more than any guy could ask for, I never go hungry, I'm working out every day so I'm no longer a fat mess. I truly am blessed.
Then why am I not happy?
reflections