(no subject)
shifting moments
fading memories
leading up to present mistakes
out takes, re takes,
do it all over again
if i had to
feeling memories urge their way up to me
of making love of holding you close
i feel a pain in my heart
not knowing when i will see you gain
impossible i imagine to try and visualize
guess or analyze
no point to it even
but still i try to go there
i think, what will it be like?
like riding home on my bike today
i couldn't wait to get home to my home baked bread
how will we have changed? how many days will have gone by?
new experiences how will we have grown?
how will i grow what will it look like
how will we mesh will i have anything more figured out?
a home i'm building for myself
in my mind at least if i can not
find it on the outside-
moving around, lifting, changing around
constant
uncertainty
what can ever really be known?
a sense of grounded-ness to the earth below me
can guide me on my way
the highways that lead me to you
and where i need to go and see new things
be a new person
become truly myself
growing up and into myself
questioning and meeting new people
healing holistically with those who support me
my choices and my life desires goals aspirations
monetarily limited in a world of possessions
limited transgression in all that we do
choosing to go to a movie get pizza go to a show
have fun while i know you are working hard
all by yourself in the snow and rain wind and sun
the elements give you no mercy while i live under my roof
i don't pay rent for
now how does that work?
it doesn't it's called inequality
racism
i sit here on this computer in a nest
of a room i've built for myself out of timber
the timber of the ashes i've forgotten were burning
from childhood fires
desires, dreams i planted seeds for in the winter
sleeping by wood stoves, cracking fires,
memories so many of them
they need cataloging in a brain
a book of history encyclopedia illustrated
for us to see and look at together
under dark candlelight and moon lit starry nights
kissing under mistletoe and pine branches
there are times like these tonight
where i feel painfully present
aware alive and alert to life's biggest mysteries
time fortune forgiveness love lust loneliness sickness health
to death do you part?
naw. more like we part healthfully and happily and then we
meet again after life
where if we're lucky, we'll become butterflies
or cats
whichever suits you more
flying through space like giant space suit mice
running from the cat and goin for the big cheese
i work tomorrow at 8 30
another early morning for me and
i'm tired writing on this wired
notebook i mean computer screen whatchamacallit
settling in to holes and cozening up with myself
snuggling with snuffy bear
and wondering what questioning my beliefs
and changing my thought patterns really means
the most challenging quest of all
is the only thing worth working on
and humanity has a lot of work to do
fading memories
leading up to present mistakes
out takes, re takes,
do it all over again
if i had to
feeling memories urge their way up to me
of making love of holding you close
i feel a pain in my heart
not knowing when i will see you gain
impossible i imagine to try and visualize
guess or analyze
no point to it even
but still i try to go there
i think, what will it be like?
like riding home on my bike today
i couldn't wait to get home to my home baked bread
how will we have changed? how many days will have gone by?
new experiences how will we have grown?
how will i grow what will it look like
how will we mesh will i have anything more figured out?
a home i'm building for myself
in my mind at least if i can not
find it on the outside-
moving around, lifting, changing around
constant
uncertainty
what can ever really be known?
a sense of grounded-ness to the earth below me
can guide me on my way
the highways that lead me to you
and where i need to go and see new things
be a new person
become truly myself
growing up and into myself
questioning and meeting new people
healing holistically with those who support me
my choices and my life desires goals aspirations
monetarily limited in a world of possessions
limited transgression in all that we do
choosing to go to a movie get pizza go to a show
have fun while i know you are working hard
all by yourself in the snow and rain wind and sun
the elements give you no mercy while i live under my roof
i don't pay rent for
now how does that work?
it doesn't it's called inequality
racism
i sit here on this computer in a nest
of a room i've built for myself out of timber
the timber of the ashes i've forgotten were burning
from childhood fires
desires, dreams i planted seeds for in the winter
sleeping by wood stoves, cracking fires,
memories so many of them
they need cataloging in a brain
a book of history encyclopedia illustrated
for us to see and look at together
under dark candlelight and moon lit starry nights
kissing under mistletoe and pine branches
there are times like these tonight
where i feel painfully present
aware alive and alert to life's biggest mysteries
time fortune forgiveness love lust loneliness sickness health
to death do you part?
naw. more like we part healthfully and happily and then we
meet again after life
where if we're lucky, we'll become butterflies
or cats
whichever suits you more
flying through space like giant space suit mice
running from the cat and goin for the big cheese
i work tomorrow at 8 30
another early morning for me and
i'm tired writing on this wired
notebook i mean computer screen whatchamacallit
settling in to holes and cozening up with myself
snuggling with snuffy bear
and wondering what questioning my beliefs
and changing my thought patterns really means
the most challenging quest of all
is the only thing worth working on
and humanity has a lot of work to do