The Surge Advisory System
It's lunchtime here at The Surge. I have the office next door to the lunch room so every time the microwave is used, delicious smells waft in and sometimes not so delicious smells. Valerie's all time least favorite is re-cooked fish. It gets so troublesome to her that one day she almost prints out and hangs up a picture of a fish with a big line through it. She tries to get fish banned from the kitchen. Her motion is overruled.
As I run a chart to recovery today, I notice this very fishy stench down the hallway and even further down the other hallway towards the recovery room. 'Wow,' I think to myself, 'that's some powerful fish one of the nurses just cooked.'
After returning from my errand downstairs, I settle into work as The Debtser comes back from faxing a document in The Bog's room.
The Bog. I've mentioned her before but I don't think I gave the full effect of The Bog.
The Bog is short for The Bog of Eternal Stench, a name given to her by Steve and Amy during our routine lunchtime calls when both were still at Genesis. Once I describe her, they knight her, and feel sorry for me for having to deal with it.
With what you ask? Let me explain further... and you may never eat a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwich ever again.
The Bog gets hired by the Surge and I have been warned by many that she's not very nice. I'm willing to give her a shot since I never worked with her before. Despite the fact she's vindictive and evil and hides my charts, I'm able to deal with her. Until the day I enter the bathroom 30 minutes after she graced the bowl.
I flip on the bathroom light, lock the door, do my water bug scan, then place the toilet paper over the seat just in case I touch. As I'm peeing I do my usual "clean nose pick" (picking one's nose with a tissue), I inhale afterwards and I stop mid stream. I sniff again. Oh my God! I'm horrified! How did I not notice this this morning?! I quickly finish then wipe myself, scrutinizing the paper. Everything looks fine. I chance a sniff. Smells like urine. I stick my head as far between my legs as it can go (mat pilates trained) and move the air to my nose with my hand. No I'm good. Then why does the air smell like someone on the staff has a pretty bad yeast infection?
I come out and pretend this never happens although later on in the week, it happens again. At this point, I'm perturbed. Being a woman, wait no, let me rephrase that, being a human I am very aware of my bodily odors. I get offended when people neglect them seeing as how I don't. Even when I sweat during running I'm aware I smell and rectify the situation after with a shower or deodorant if I'm still playing some kind of sport. I feel someone needs to find this person with the yeast infection and tell them of the stench they're leaving behind in the bathroom. I figure this will be easy because this someone must not have a nose at all.
The Debster at this point makes a comment about The Bog sitting in someone else's chair and that it will smell and should she tell them she sat there? And then it clicks. Oh, that's the source! I tell The Debster about my discovery in the bathroom this week and she stares at me in disbelief, "You didn't know? She was like that before when she worked here YEARS ago." So that's when I learn the shocking truth of The Bog and we all decide to be the warning committee for anyone who attempts to go into the bathroom up to 45 minutes after she does depending on the level of her stink.
But today, is like the orange alert of stink according to The Debster. She tells me the room is awful and I correct her, "No no no," I say. "Someone cooked fish because I can smell it all the way to recovery."
"Recovery?!"
"Yeah, it's cooked fish. It couldn't possibly by anything else."
The Debster's not so sure but she has hope. She sticks her head into the lunchroom. "Who cooked fish in here?"
There's absolute quiet from every nurse.
As I run a chart to recovery today, I notice this very fishy stench down the hallway and even further down the other hallway towards the recovery room. 'Wow,' I think to myself, 'that's some powerful fish one of the nurses just cooked.'
After returning from my errand downstairs, I settle into work as The Debtser comes back from faxing a document in The Bog's room.
The Bog. I've mentioned her before but I don't think I gave the full effect of The Bog.
The Bog is short for The Bog of Eternal Stench, a name given to her by Steve and Amy during our routine lunchtime calls when both were still at Genesis. Once I describe her, they knight her, and feel sorry for me for having to deal with it.
With what you ask? Let me explain further... and you may never eat a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwich ever again.
The Bog gets hired by the Surge and I have been warned by many that she's not very nice. I'm willing to give her a shot since I never worked with her before. Despite the fact she's vindictive and evil and hides my charts, I'm able to deal with her. Until the day I enter the bathroom 30 minutes after she graced the bowl.
I flip on the bathroom light, lock the door, do my water bug scan, then place the toilet paper over the seat just in case I touch. As I'm peeing I do my usual "clean nose pick" (picking one's nose with a tissue), I inhale afterwards and I stop mid stream. I sniff again. Oh my God! I'm horrified! How did I not notice this this morning?! I quickly finish then wipe myself, scrutinizing the paper. Everything looks fine. I chance a sniff. Smells like urine. I stick my head as far between my legs as it can go (mat pilates trained) and move the air to my nose with my hand. No I'm good. Then why does the air smell like someone on the staff has a pretty bad yeast infection?
I come out and pretend this never happens although later on in the week, it happens again. At this point, I'm perturbed. Being a woman, wait no, let me rephrase that, being a human I am very aware of my bodily odors. I get offended when people neglect them seeing as how I don't. Even when I sweat during running I'm aware I smell and rectify the situation after with a shower or deodorant if I'm still playing some kind of sport. I feel someone needs to find this person with the yeast infection and tell them of the stench they're leaving behind in the bathroom. I figure this will be easy because this someone must not have a nose at all.
The Debster at this point makes a comment about The Bog sitting in someone else's chair and that it will smell and should she tell them she sat there? And then it clicks. Oh, that's the source! I tell The Debster about my discovery in the bathroom this week and she stares at me in disbelief, "You didn't know? She was like that before when she worked here YEARS ago." So that's when I learn the shocking truth of The Bog and we all decide to be the warning committee for anyone who attempts to go into the bathroom up to 45 minutes after she does depending on the level of her stink.
But today, is like the orange alert of stink according to The Debster. She tells me the room is awful and I correct her, "No no no," I say. "Someone cooked fish because I can smell it all the way to recovery."
"Recovery?!"
"Yeah, it's cooked fish. It couldn't possibly by anything else."
The Debster's not so sure but she has hope. She sticks her head into the lunchroom. "Who cooked fish in here?"
There's absolute quiet from every nurse.