(no subject)
it has been 4 days short of a year since i last updated this thing. i miss livejournal and am pissed that facebook and twitter are taking over and distracting everyone with pictures and statuses and walls and all that other shit that is so incredibly little and exhausting. it depresses me sometimes but then i have to think that it's all about the world we live in and adjusting to it no matter what happens.
i'm almost positive i will be going to prague for all of next semester. it's kind of scary to think about even though i've wanted to go abroad ever since i got to college. the scariest thing is having to fill out the gigantic 15 page visa application all in czech amidst screenplays and dumbass assignments and all of the heavy partying i've been doing. my life has changed so much in the past five years and it all goes way too fast sometimes. five years ago i had friends who i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with (as dumb as that sounds) but now i don't talk to any of them. in fact, i'm actually not really on speaking terms with anyone anymore except for people at USC. i really, really, really miss my old friends back at home... and actually my "old life" but everyone seems to be starting new lives now so i always end up feeling like a pathetic sap every time i think about calling them and catching up.
i don't know if i'll ever be happy if i just keep moving to different places and starting new lives. nothing is ever fluid or consistent. it's like one giant clusterfuck that keeps getting more weird and different with each year that passes and i've come to live by the theory of "well, i might as well do something crazy because my life can't get any crazier than it is now." this is why i hate screenwriting... it trains us to think that conflict will resolve itself when in reality, there are no third acts. there might be breaks from first to second but nothing ever comes full circle and resolves itself. karma or whatever the fuck they call it doesn't exist. there are just really random, fucked up changes that happen every now and then but no neat little bows to wrap everything together in the end.
blah blah blah.
i'm almost positive i will be going to prague for all of next semester. it's kind of scary to think about even though i've wanted to go abroad ever since i got to college. the scariest thing is having to fill out the gigantic 15 page visa application all in czech amidst screenplays and dumbass assignments and all of the heavy partying i've been doing. my life has changed so much in the past five years and it all goes way too fast sometimes. five years ago i had friends who i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with (as dumb as that sounds) but now i don't talk to any of them. in fact, i'm actually not really on speaking terms with anyone anymore except for people at USC. i really, really, really miss my old friends back at home... and actually my "old life" but everyone seems to be starting new lives now so i always end up feeling like a pathetic sap every time i think about calling them and catching up.
i don't know if i'll ever be happy if i just keep moving to different places and starting new lives. nothing is ever fluid or consistent. it's like one giant clusterfuck that keeps getting more weird and different with each year that passes and i've come to live by the theory of "well, i might as well do something crazy because my life can't get any crazier than it is now." this is why i hate screenwriting... it trains us to think that conflict will resolve itself when in reality, there are no third acts. there might be breaks from first to second but nothing ever comes full circle and resolves itself. karma or whatever the fuck they call it doesn't exist. there are just really random, fucked up changes that happen every now and then but no neat little bows to wrap everything together in the end.
blah blah blah.