what I'm feeling
Yeh I did it again. My first real test sucked. I always takes me a while to figure out "OK this is not just something you do Clay, School is job". But wait, I already have a job, but it seems I always have to have some form of laziness creep in somewhere. I wasn't 100% lazy, but I was a little lazy and tired. Studying stresses me out. Why? Hmmm. Because I can't surf the internet. Because my mind wanders. Because I'm thinking about other people. I'll figure it out like I always do, and that's to start studying earlier for my tests, but it still cost me an A in Marketing. So dumb of me. Especially if that's a field or grad school degree I want to consider and I'm already NOT in that major because it sucks here. Boy, I felt like I was really at the wrong college. I wonder if I was challenged in the right way, where would I be? What would I be doing? I still sorta think Photojournalism. At least then, I could take beautiful pictures and meet people and write about that. Then, also, I wouldn't expect to form friendships with those people there because it's just an interview.
I tend to think of everyone as a potential hang out friend. If I was just had a roommate to tell everything to, a wife, a dog. I'll keep saying what if. It's wrong because God will supply all of that. It's just so much easier to have someone around whenever I needed them. 99% of the people I meet do not become friends.
I wonder if I had a 'best friend/roommate' if I would get sick of them, or if I would enjoy every minute, or if we would get to know each other tooooo well. I honestly dont know many people who have best friends. Also, not that many people label their friends "best friend" anyway. Not even me! It's all stupid because that kind of talk is a fantasy world.
What would make me feel better? I honestly think if I did what other countries do...and have coffee/tea/beer/wine at a cafe/bar/patio after work every day with the same group I would feel much better.
That way, you know you have someone to tell it all to, to listen to (I really do just like to listen) and relax with. That's not American (anymore) though. So perhaps the drinking guys down the street that put couches in a perfectly good garage and drink a few beers every night REALLY DO have a better time. Lots of people think they are lazy or just masking their emotional problems. I always thought they were having a good time, drunk or not. Maybe part of it isn't so bad.
I really need to work on my vision/goals. In class we talked about how if you are not having fun, then leave this Uni or do something that you will have fun.
What would an ideal job look like: Just hanging out with people under no time crunch and using some creativity. But making enough money to survive and not have to shop at Dollar General.
Someone please tell me there is a job like that out there. It's GOT to get better than this.
By the way, I think I would slow down more if I had a camera and was looking for shots. I want a pocketish size to carry around everywhere but only closer to when I go to Europe, and then eventually a nice big $600 camera. I've never had $600.
My roommate says he sings and whistles even when he's gone, but I Know he does it louder when I'm here so I can hear him. Kinda funny. haha.
I've got to swim tonight. I feel like I've come out of my shell to go to class and work and locked myself up otherwise lately..and I really haven't been doing it on purpose.
I tend to think of everyone as a potential hang out friend. If I was just had a roommate to tell everything to, a wife, a dog. I'll keep saying what if. It's wrong because God will supply all of that. It's just so much easier to have someone around whenever I needed them. 99% of the people I meet do not become friends.
I wonder if I had a 'best friend/roommate' if I would get sick of them, or if I would enjoy every minute, or if we would get to know each other tooooo well. I honestly dont know many people who have best friends. Also, not that many people label their friends "best friend" anyway. Not even me! It's all stupid because that kind of talk is a fantasy world.
What would make me feel better? I honestly think if I did what other countries do...and have coffee/tea/beer/wine at a cafe/bar/patio after work every day with the same group I would feel much better.
That way, you know you have someone to tell it all to, to listen to (I really do just like to listen) and relax with. That's not American (anymore) though. So perhaps the drinking guys down the street that put couches in a perfectly good garage and drink a few beers every night REALLY DO have a better time. Lots of people think they are lazy or just masking their emotional problems. I always thought they were having a good time, drunk or not. Maybe part of it isn't so bad.
I really need to work on my vision/goals. In class we talked about how if you are not having fun, then leave this Uni or do something that you will have fun.
What would an ideal job look like: Just hanging out with people under no time crunch and using some creativity. But making enough money to survive and not have to shop at Dollar General.
Someone please tell me there is a job like that out there. It's GOT to get better than this.
By the way, I think I would slow down more if I had a camera and was looking for shots. I want a pocketish size to carry around everywhere but only closer to when I go to Europe, and then eventually a nice big $600 camera. I've never had $600.
My roommate says he sings and whistles even when he's gone, but I Know he does it louder when I'm here so I can hear him. Kinda funny. haha.
I've got to swim tonight. I feel like I've come out of my shell to go to class and work and locked myself up otherwise lately..and I really haven't been doing it on purpose.