And So It Begins.
There’s always this loss of words when it comes to me and introducing myself to someone else. It is probably due to the fact that I’m a bonafide geek to the core. It will never matter how many records I sell, how many people read my book, or the amount of appearances I make. I still always feel most centered and myself within a group of children instead of adults. People continuously tell me that will change as I get older, while I continue to them that I want to find it both ways. I could list my accomplishments, but to some people it may not be many and to others it might be an amazing amount. To me, it’s enough for the time beginning but there’s a lot more life to lead and a lot longer list to tackle. The things I have done, the milestones reached do not define me however they do shape me. There’s so much to learn and love in life and I tackle each day wanting to gain more of both.
The first time I ever attempted at writing anything concrete concerning my life that wasn't for school or found in lyrics, it ended up becoming my memoirs at age twenty five. I don’t really know anyone who has memoirs at that age but somehow I filled a book of memories, ideas, and thoughts and it became another part of me. I didn’t write it unassisted, instead having a co-author who was simply amazing to work with, because I’m by no means a writer. I talked and wrote and she listened and wrote and then we pulled it together to make it what it was. When it was all said and done, there was my life amongst pages that would be flipped and turned in a person’s house, office or any number of other places. It’s a surreal feeling wondering if it’s something someone will not want to put down or if someone else will end up reading at leisure over the course of weeks. It didn’t matter to me if it became a bestseller or if it ended up collecting dust in bookstores four years later and forgotten. It was for me and if it inspired someone else than so be it. If it got people thinking more about children or religion or even just life, then I succeeded. People come up to me and say that I helped change their life. That is both flattering and nerve wrecking for me. I don’t change people’s lives. I don’t have that kind of power. My mother always said I had a gift though. A gift to be the instrument for the music I sing that unlocks something in someone that they didn’t know was there. She always said to be careful with it because it can hold a lot of power if not used correctly.
I listen to my mother when she talks. I listen when she isn’t even actually talking to me and instead becomes a voice in my head. The more I dislike something she expresses, the more she ends up being right about it. When I was younger, I refused to believe it and did everything under the sun to prove her wrong. These days, I simply grumble in my head and readily realize it's truth. She’s my idol, yes. And it completely makes me a mama’s boy and I know it. I wear that badge proudly because of who she is and the strength she has instilled in me over the years. Family has always been important to me, every member making up some part of me, but my mom shadows all the parts because she’s made it her place in my life to do as such. She’s been the constant, the rock, and has helped lead me down the paths to get me here where I am.
Raleigh, North Carolina is home to me, although LA is where I live primarily. LA and I collide in the worst way. It’s too much glitz and too much glam for me and it can suck you in, chew you up, and spit you out if you’re not careful. I’ve taken great care to stay true to myself and to not let corporate music politics completely distort my work. It doesn’t always happen how I’d like it and I’ve lost some fights in my decision making process, but I’ve also won. I pick and choose what’s worth the stand and so far things have worked out well. I try not to dwell back on past things so much although I find myself more in a shell than not from my elementary and middle school days of children being cruel. Those memories seem to keep hold without me even realizing at times. I’ve heard it all before - dumbo, four eyes, howdy doody. Those days are long over but sometimes I still feel like that awkward kid who stands out in the most obvious of ways.
In present day, however, I’m currently in Africa on a tour of the Internally Displaced Peoples' Camps, night commuter shelters and reception centers for formerly abducted children concerning my work with UNICEF all of this week and then I’ll be back in LA for an undetermined amount of time. I’m working on a third album right now and set to start touring in July.
This entire entry consists of mainly rambling but I did say that I’m not a writer, remember? I really could have just said, Hi, I’m Clayton Aiken, also known as just Clay. I’m best known as that second runner up kid with the unruly red hair, bad fashion sense, and glasses in the second season of American Idol.
Things have changed quite a bit since then though. Funny how these days, second place feels so much more like first. Here’s to becoming acquainted to new people and new experiences. Don’t be afraid to say hello, I’m shy so this is a bit overwhelming but I do my best to get along with everyone.
AIM: ActingAiken.
The first time I ever attempted at writing anything concrete concerning my life that wasn't for school or found in lyrics, it ended up becoming my memoirs at age twenty five. I don’t really know anyone who has memoirs at that age but somehow I filled a book of memories, ideas, and thoughts and it became another part of me. I didn’t write it unassisted, instead having a co-author who was simply amazing to work with, because I’m by no means a writer. I talked and wrote and she listened and wrote and then we pulled it together to make it what it was. When it was all said and done, there was my life amongst pages that would be flipped and turned in a person’s house, office or any number of other places. It’s a surreal feeling wondering if it’s something someone will not want to put down or if someone else will end up reading at leisure over the course of weeks. It didn’t matter to me if it became a bestseller or if it ended up collecting dust in bookstores four years later and forgotten. It was for me and if it inspired someone else than so be it. If it got people thinking more about children or religion or even just life, then I succeeded. People come up to me and say that I helped change their life. That is both flattering and nerve wrecking for me. I don’t change people’s lives. I don’t have that kind of power. My mother always said I had a gift though. A gift to be the instrument for the music I sing that unlocks something in someone that they didn’t know was there. She always said to be careful with it because it can hold a lot of power if not used correctly.
I listen to my mother when she talks. I listen when she isn’t even actually talking to me and instead becomes a voice in my head. The more I dislike something she expresses, the more she ends up being right about it. When I was younger, I refused to believe it and did everything under the sun to prove her wrong. These days, I simply grumble in my head and readily realize it's truth. She’s my idol, yes. And it completely makes me a mama’s boy and I know it. I wear that badge proudly because of who she is and the strength she has instilled in me over the years. Family has always been important to me, every member making up some part of me, but my mom shadows all the parts because she’s made it her place in my life to do as such. She’s been the constant, the rock, and has helped lead me down the paths to get me here where I am.
Raleigh, North Carolina is home to me, although LA is where I live primarily. LA and I collide in the worst way. It’s too much glitz and too much glam for me and it can suck you in, chew you up, and spit you out if you’re not careful. I’ve taken great care to stay true to myself and to not let corporate music politics completely distort my work. It doesn’t always happen how I’d like it and I’ve lost some fights in my decision making process, but I’ve also won. I pick and choose what’s worth the stand and so far things have worked out well. I try not to dwell back on past things so much although I find myself more in a shell than not from my elementary and middle school days of children being cruel. Those memories seem to keep hold without me even realizing at times. I’ve heard it all before - dumbo, four eyes, howdy doody. Those days are long over but sometimes I still feel like that awkward kid who stands out in the most obvious of ways.
In present day, however, I’m currently in Africa on a tour of the Internally Displaced Peoples' Camps, night commuter shelters and reception centers for formerly abducted children concerning my work with UNICEF all of this week and then I’ll be back in LA for an undetermined amount of time. I’m working on a third album right now and set to start touring in July.
This entire entry consists of mainly rambling but I did say that I’m not a writer, remember? I really could have just said, Hi, I’m Clayton Aiken, also known as just Clay. I’m best known as that second runner up kid with the unruly red hair, bad fashion sense, and glasses in the second season of American Idol.
Things have changed quite a bit since then though. Funny how these days, second place feels so much more like first. Here’s to becoming acquainted to new people and new experiences. Don’t be afraid to say hello, I’m shy so this is a bit overwhelming but I do my best to get along with everyone.
AIM: ActingAiken.