Quite frankly? Put everything in your car. Everything that can legally fit. Rent a u-haul, & go. your job is shitty, living in your house is shitty, & this town is shitty. Leave. You have money, you jut don't have the drive. If you really wanted to make something happen, it would fucking happen already! No matter what it takes, right?
nobody replaced you, evan. when I had Staci & Laura & Steve at the dorm, you were still the person I'd get super excited to see even if it was just once a week. Pam has been my friend since I was 14, yet you were still in front of her. When Carlos was here, you KNOW we still got in the car & just went. & no, if you're talking about Samantha, no. We don't do anything. we seriously just stay here & watch movies.Just because someone moves in doesn't mean they move in to your spot.
Nobody replaced you. your depression did. Do you know how hard it is to live with someone who's keeping herself depressed? How many times did I tell you I would go with you to the doctor, but you would make up almost any excuse "I work"... what about the days you don't go in until 2:30? "they're just going to look at me & tell me to get the fuck out of their office because I'm not suicidal" Is that how you really think treatment works? When I had problems, that Stebbins whore wanted to hand me out meds like skittles! "I don't have insurance because... etc etc" then you got insurance!
I don't understand! It makes me want to pull out my hair. I love you so much but why the fuck would one person be so detrimental to themselves? I couldn't be around it anymore. I hated seeing you almost gauge your eyes out because your mascara splotched on the side of your beautiful face. It just got to the point where I wanted to stop trying. How many times did I sit on the rug & just LISTEN to you. & try to give you advice just to no avail
YOU CAN DO IT, EVAN YOU CAN LEAVE YOU CAN BE HAPPY
YOU DESERVE IT. you've never done ANYTHING wrong in your entire fucking life besides be awful to yourself. I seriously just want another post card from san diego... like the one you sent me when you were there... except a "wish you were here".
Please, Evan. please just go. Not "get out of my life" but go & start your life. stop keeping yourself here, you have no reason to. As long as you've got some money to eat.... just go.
I want to be the last person to see you off because I think it would be christmas for me to see you drive off, smiling but scared shitless because you'll be paying waaaayy to much for rent, but I know you can do it.
If you died, I wouldn't know what to do with myself, but I know I would have some part of it for giving up after over a year of being around your depression. Yes, I've given up. I was tired of talking & talking & telling you to go but nothing.
I seriously hope some of these words will make the whole California thing seem like next week & not next year.
You're killing yourself. This is an internet-intervention. I'm going to text you right now to read this, copy/paste it & delete the comment.
I love you so much. Please, Evan. be good to yourself for once no one needs this shit, & you seriously have NEVER done anything wrong you're a victim of life, but you're keeping yourself in that role. Go away. the good way.
Love, Your Petey-girl/ STEPH! with arms in the air/ concert lover partner in crime/ old potato rd neighbor.
You don't give up on people. You don't just give up on your best friend. How could you just leave me?
Don't you think if it was easy as all that, as all that you said, I would have taken care of it myself by now? Maybe it's a cry for help when you just can't manage your self anymore.
Put everything in your car. Everything that can legally fit.
Rent a u-haul, & go.
your job is shitty, living in your house is shitty, & this town is shitty.
Leave.
You have money, you jut don't have the drive.
If you really wanted to make something happen, it would fucking happen already! No matter what it takes, right?
nobody replaced you, evan.
when I had Staci & Laura & Steve at the dorm,
you were still the person I'd get super excited to see even if it was just once a week.
Pam has been my friend since I was 14, yet you were still in front of her.
When Carlos was here, you KNOW we still got in the car & just went.
& no, if you're talking about Samantha, no. We don't do anything. we seriously just stay here & watch movies.Just because someone moves in doesn't mean they move in to your spot.
Nobody replaced you.
your depression did.
Do you know how hard it is to live with someone who's keeping herself depressed? How many times did I tell you I would go with you to the doctor,
but you would make up almost any excuse "I work"... what about the days you don't go in until 2:30?
"they're just going to look at me & tell me to get the fuck out of their office because I'm not suicidal" Is that how you really think treatment works? When I had problems, that Stebbins whore wanted to hand me out meds like skittles!
"I don't have insurance because... etc etc" then you got insurance!
I don't understand!
It makes me want to pull out my hair.
I love you so much but why the fuck would one person be so detrimental to themselves?
I couldn't be around it anymore.
I hated seeing you almost gauge your eyes out because your mascara splotched on the side of your beautiful face. It just got to the point where I wanted to stop trying. How many times did I sit on the rug & just LISTEN to you. & try to give you advice just to no avail
YOU CAN DO IT, EVAN
YOU CAN LEAVE
YOU CAN BE HAPPY
YOU DESERVE IT.
you've never done ANYTHING wrong in your entire fucking life besides be awful to yourself. I seriously just want another post card from san diego... like the one you sent me when you were there... except a "wish you were here".
Please, Evan.
please just go.
Not "get out of my life"
but go & start your life.
stop keeping yourself here, you have no reason to.
As long as you've got some money to eat....
just go.
I want to be the last person to see you off because I think it would be christmas for me to see you drive off, smiling but scared shitless because you'll be paying waaaayy to much for rent, but I know you can do it.
If you died, I wouldn't know what to do with myself,
but I know I would have some part of it for giving up after over a year of being around your depression. Yes, I've given up. I was tired of talking & talking & telling you to go but nothing.
I seriously hope some of these words will make the whole California thing seem like next week & not next year.
You're killing yourself.
This is an internet-intervention.
I'm going to text you right now to read this, copy/paste it & delete the comment.
I love you so much.
Please, Evan.
be good to yourself for once
no one needs this shit, & you seriously have NEVER done anything wrong
you're a victim of life, but you're keeping yourself in that role.
Go away.
the good way.
Love,
Your Petey-girl/ STEPH! with arms in the air/ concert lover partner in crime/ old potato rd neighbor.
Please.
Reply
How could you just leave me?
Don't you think if it was easy as all that, as all that you said, I would have taken care of it myself by now?
Maybe it's a cry for help when you just can't manage your self anymore.
I'm not holding onto it. It's holding onto me.
Reply
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