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[claws_of_rage]

Well, this was something I am not used to feeling. Gotta say I'm a little nervous about seeing her again. So much time has passed, she doesn't really seem like the same Selene. Heartbreaking really. She's not looking for anything but friendship, that's fine. Guess that's why I'm so nervous, if it were purely physical wouldn't have to really worry

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[claws_of_rage]

Her eyes told how old she was, even if her body didn't. It angered and hurt me to see her this way. Shoulda stuck around, shoulda fought for her.

"Honestly? Dunno." I brought one of my hands to my pocket, getting a cigar out and put it between my lips then lit it before my hands resumed their place around hers. Poor woman looked like she might break.

"Felt.. pulled to come back. Like I needed to be here." The cigar rolled between my lips and I looked at her. "Good to know my feelins are still on the mark."

Didn't want her to focus too much on her problems at hand. Looking at the table top I spoke lowly. "Remembered.. quite a bit about my past actually." Cocking my head I smirked at her. "Before the whole grunting phase."

When she'd first met me, I was nothing better than an animal. I still feel about the same, but she didn't see that. Selene always saw some sliver of humanity in me. Hell, the woman even would go as far as to call me a man.

"Ya know how badly I wanna rip something apart for you being so sad?" I was holding back the tage, a low growl to my voice. The woman knew me, probably better than I did myself. "I'm sorry I waited so long to come back."

[dealing_death]

"While the grunting was adorable," She teased, though her words didn't reflect much of the humor of her words. "I am glad to know you have discovered who you are."

Was that not what everyone was trying to find?

"Mind telling me how you came to uncover the truth?" Because the last thing she wanted to do was to tell him about Tommy, Agatha, Ambyr....Amelia....Matayas....

Taking an breath she swallowed the emotion bubbling up and held fast to the mask she wore. She wouldn't break. Not now.

"You should know me well enough to know I always cause my own heartache." But he never saw that. They never did until it was too late. The men in Selene's life always saw what they wanted to see. She never claimed to be a good woman, decent would be pushing it in her opinion. The likelihood of her changing was slim to none, in six hundred years she had only grown worse for wear, not better. "Don't do that." Selene stopped him. "No. You have nothing to be sorry for."

[claws_of_rage]

I chuckled and tilted my head at her the way I had that first time. "Went to Japan, when I wasn't boozing or narcotizing myself in the next piece of ass that came along I was trying to find out what these dreams I kept having meant. Meditation helped me a lot. Let people in Japan that knew me and from there I was taken... pretty much all over."

And there it was, that brief split second slip up. She caught herself, but not fast enough.

"No you don't. I won't deny completely that you don't have your share in it. But it takes two darlin'. I did a lot of things wrong that I shouldn't of. Won't let you take all the blame. But I'm not here to rehash the past or live in it."

I looked up at her, my eyes meeting hers. "You need me. I think deep down you know that. And no I'm not talking about sex, but we both know I wouldn't object. Just, not with how you are right now."

My hands squeezed hers. "You need me because I am the only one that can handle seeing you fall apart, that you can talk to and be brutally honest with. Because you know damn well know matter how long or how far apart we are I'll love you with my last breath." I smiled at her softly. "Don't ya."

Nothing about what I said or how I said it hinted at a relationship, it wasn't about that. This woman needed to know that there was someone out there that still gave a damn. "Don't you dare try and pulls this shit that you deserve it because I won't listen. Don't give a damn what you've done. I'm here to get that light back in your eyes. And I'm not leavin' til I do."

[dealing_death]

Before she could burst into tears she grabbed her purse, half convinced she was going to leave. But before she could she fumbled around inside the designer bag and pulled out her wallet. Popping it open she pulled out a picture and handed it to Logan.

" That is my heart. That is my light." She sighed. "And I had to let her go."

[claws_of_rage]

And that was the moment I knew all wasn't lost. If she was still able to feel so deeply she could summon tears then she would make it. But it'd take time. I took the picture and my jaw clenched for a moment. how many times over the last five years had I thought about what we nearly had. It was my baby she was carrying, I was as certain of that as I am my next breath. but I wasn't going to bring that up. No matter how much it hurt and angered me she had what I wanted with someone else.

"She's.. beautiful."

I slid the picture across the table to her and downed my drink.

"Why?"

[dealing_death]

"Because a woman like me can not raise a child like Agatha." She was an avatar of hope. The child of a Titan god. Selene could not teach her the things she would need to know to survive in this world.

And Selene lived in a very dark world, with friends and associates that could kill her daughter simply by existing. Right now, in the condition Selene was in, even she would be a danger to her child. As strong as Tommy was she would likely make even him ill.

"She belongs with him."

That was enough talking about her.

"So, what is it you have learned about yourself? I am done wallowing in my own misery."

[claws_of_rage]

I wanted to argue, tell her what an incredible mother she would be, but she shut me down before my mouth even opened. "Well, learned I'm old as fuck." I puffed my cigar and groaned a little as I shifted around.

"Fought in the Civil War. Both World Wars. Got a brother. Been married, once that I recollect. Went through some pretty horrible shit in a laboratory. The metal.. was my own decision. Been.. heartbroken quite a few times. Actually think I got a kid or two out there too. Though, I'm not certain about that. Still working through a few things."

Another round of drinks was brought over and I looked over at her.

"Learned I missed you. Took me a while to admit that, but it's true."

But she didn't wanna hear that so I leaned back and sighed. "Learned all along I was right, I'm more animal than man. At least from some of the shit in my past showed me. And apparently my brother's even worse."