WriterCon - The Saturday Edition

[clawofcat]

Part I one of my WriterCon report can be found HERE.

I’ll give you all one guess how I was feeling when I woke up Saturday morning after my prodigious night of drinking. That’s right. The dreaded H word - hung over. Pass is an early riser, so while I was still drooling on my pillow, she was out and about at 6AM walking Nicollet Mall and greeting the

Comments

[servus_a_manu]

#1 I love Aveda, too. An old boyfriend got me into those products! I used the chamomile shampoo for years when I was still blonde.

#2 My husband does that "deuces" thing, tho his stemmed from a reference to 2nd platoon at his previous post in NY. I kind of hate it.

#3 On BDSM: although not a practitioner myself, I have over the last few years taken a keen interest in exploring the culture as best I can as an outsider. One discrepancy between the real life culture and fic that is beginning to bother me increasingly is the use of BDSM as "therapy" in more and more fic with those themes. That's not to say it doesn't work that way at all in RL, or in fic. Actually, your story is a good example of how it does work, but it's also a relatively brief one-shot. Not 26 chapters of trying to break someone down to their id and then pet them like a kitten. From what I understand, a large part of the appeal of BDSM is the joyful endorphin rush that occurs in situations of controlled pain.

The canon Spuffy sexual relationship is closer to the spirit of BDSM than Xander weilding a whip over chained Spike, or what-have-you. But I'm getting off track. Where I was meaning to go with this is that I agree with your assessment of how BDSM in fic is treated in slash fic, find I'm not very satisfied with the BDSM-as-therapy trend in het fic, and would like to see it go more realistic places overall. I'd like to see a comm or even ficathon with that purpose in mind. Perhaps the panel stirred some thoughts on that for others as well.

Thanks again for another wonderful recap! Btw, Smitten Kitten reminds me of Babeland in Seattle. There are three Babelands in NY, can you compare? :)

[servus_a_manu]

p.s. My kid was 10 and watching Buffy with her mom! Well, now she's 12 and anyway that's probably not what you meant. :P

[clawofcat]

It seems that you and rebcake have something in common - raising 3rd generation fans of Buffy. We need more converts!

[clawofcat]

#1 Ha! And I got my sorta boyfriend (lover?) into Aveda when we went to Cancun this past January. Now he swears by it.

One discrepancy between the real life culture and fic that is beginning to bother me increasingly is the use of BDSM as "therapy" in more and more fic with those themes.
Interesting. Are you finding this in BtVS fandom or another one? I generally just stay away at this point and hadn't noticed a therapeutic trend, more of a "terrorize you until you're chop meat and only I can have the power" sort of thing. As for my shot, I pretty much used my own experiences to write that. It can be a release and an exercise of trust with your partner. It can also be many other things depending on what you're after.

From what I understand, a large part of the appeal of BDSM is the joyful endorphin rush that occurs in situations of controlled pain.
That's probably true, but I can't say I ever felt "joyful." Sated would be a word. Like all this tension has been building and then it just bursts, is over, seeps from you and it's not your responsibility anymore. I was never part of a scene and I don't lead any sort of BDSM lifestyle, but for the time I participated it was cathartic. It felt good to let go emotionally. I was in a sad place and the pain helped me cry and it was a relief to just let myself be vulnerable and get it all out so I didn't have to carry it about with me all the time. It felt good too. Certainly the erotic elements were there as well.

The canon Spuffy sexual relationship is closer to the spirit of BDSM than Xander weilding a whip over chained Spike
Yes. Buffy was going through a lot of pain and sometimes you need pain to combat pain.

I'd like to see a comm or even ficathon with that purpose in mind.
If you want to run it, I'll write a fic for it! I actually have a Faith/Angel story set during "Sanctuary" that would be perfect, though perhaps a bit on the therapeutic side.

Btw, Smitten Kitten reminds me of Babeland in Seattle. There are three Babelands in NY, can you compare?
It definately had a Babeland vibe (no pun intended), in the sense that it was family-friendly and not sketchy and very sex-positive. But there was something in the air that made it different and that was that all the patrons were women and so were all the clerks. It felt like a very safe environment, something that wasn't going to be encroached on. So, while they shared a similar spirit, I thought the female ownership added something to the experience.

[servus_a_manu]

No wonder your one-shot worked so well, as it was informed by your own experience. And like I said, it's not that catharsis isn't or shouldn't be there at all, just that it doesn't have to be the sole reason for participating in that aspect of sexuality.
It can be a release and an exercise of trust with your partner. It can also be many other things depending on what you're after.
- like this. Which is why one person can call it "joyful" and another "sated", I think.

As for BDSM as therapy trending in fandom, I do see it BtVS, but also Doctor Who & Torchwood. Mostly TW, where the darker themes lend themselves to the subject. And again, it's not that it can't be done well in fic, just that it takes a sure hand. Since BDSM is still relegated to an underground and shock-value place, it doesn't surprise me that the vision most people have of it are either fuzzy handcuffs or a pvc-clad dominatrix. Certainly that's what I thought until I set out to do my research. I guess I'm being somewhat of a snob, wishing people would take their subject seriously enough to learn about it if they don't have any personal experience.

It definately had a Babeland vibe (no pun intended),

Rly? Because it's a very cute pun! :D