The Cross ~ (1/1)

[clawofcat]

Title: The Cross
Author: ClawofCat
Timing: Season 6, Post-Wrecked
Rating: PG
Pairing: Implied B/A and B/S
Word Count: 360
Summary: Today she chooses something different. Today she wears a cross.

A/N: Written for 

Comments

[red_satin_doll]

I've already left a very LONG comment about Burn Marks, so I'll try not to ramble too much here. But the way you portray Buffy in S6 is a thing of beauty to me, twisted painful beauty that makes me want to cry for her because you UNDERSTAND. Having compassion for her is NOT the same thing as condoning, as you clearly know and prove with your stories. The last two lines of the story are harsh and brutal. (the first time I read it, I thought the "the person she hates and wants to tear off like an accessory" was referring to Spike; I had to reread to understand she's thinking of herself. And that's very much in-canon; so much of what she says to Spike is not about him but about herself. Even the command "Stop loving me" is a cry for help from someone who doesn't believe she is worthy of love; by saying it she is acknowledging his love as something real, something she can't bear to allow either one of them to have or enjoy. She is falling apart here - has been ever since she died the first time (and perhaps even earlier, with her parents') at the same time she is trying so hard NOT too; she's the Slayer, she can't. And her friends are very needy now, as you clearly reference; she tries so hard. And I think a lot of times that really gets overlooked or misunderstood - going to Spike is in many ways a survival mechanism, a way to keep going. As twisted as it gets, it's actually the only way she knows how to somehow keep afloat here.

That cross was so iconic in the early seasons (and it never disappears from the credits) but I noticed at some point she stopped wearing it; do we ever see it past S3?

Something I meant to add when I reviewed Burn Marks - I know that story is from Spike's POV, but you've got a way of writing, a style to it - slightly detached? I'm not sure that's the right word - that makes it feel that you are writing both of them at once, or rather, you're offering me a deeper understanding of both Buffy and Spike at the same time, which is hard to do, I think, when coming from one character's POV.

[clawofcat]

the way you portray Buffy in S6 is a thing of beauty to me, twisted painful beauty that makes me want to cry for her because you UNDERSTAND.
Thank you so much for the lovely compliment. S6 Buffy was definitely one I spent a lot of time with and I adored writing her during this time. Buffy has a vast, emotional inner life to explore with many layers of negativity, self-hate. But she wouldn't feel it so if she didn't have hope, an expectation, a desire of what she sees for herself. Buffy's struggle has always been as much about her current predicament at any given time as it is how it either aligns or is at odds with her vision of herself and future. The girl is full of hope and desires that are so often unfulfilled, but yet she carries on because the only alternative is death.

I think you might really enjoy my Bangel fic "Off Route 17" - http://clawofcat.livejournal.com/56549. It's set in S6 and is the FiTB fic exploring Buffy's offscreen encounter with Angel post-resurrection. In my mind, it was written as a subversive sort of Spuffy to explore how it is that Buffy ends up in Spike's arms. But more than that, I think it really delves into what Buffy is going through in that time when she is still trying to function, but is beginning to look at dark alternatives. She hasn't hit rock bottom yet, and there is still hope. I also just think I really nailed her characterization in that one since it's all about her.

Yes, I don't think we see the cross after S3.

that makes it feel that you are writing both of them at once, or rather, you're offering me a deeper understanding of both Buffy and Spike at the same time
Ah, thank you. That's wonderful you feel that way and that the writing is revealing about both of them. That's always what I strived for, sometimes with better results than others!