Your Vacant Eyes (1/1)

[clawofcat]

Title: Your Vacant Eyes
Author: ClawofCat
Timing: Set during “Passion” and “Grave”
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Giles POV w/ mention of Jenny/Giles and Willow/Tara
Warnings: Some strong language, character death and references to torture
Summary: What was Giles thinking right before he left to confront Angelus after finding Jenny murdered? Years later, when

Comments

[only_passenger]

i wanted to read this last night, but i was about passing out by the time i e-mailed that fic to you (and found and corrected nearly a dozen typoes in it this morning that i missed in my exhaustion; my apologies).

i think it's very strong, and would not say your POV ability is underdeveloped at all.

there are a few parts in the first half, particularly paragraphs two and seven, that i adore. you switch from third to second (adressing angelus) person a few paragraphs in, and i would agree it at second. paragraph six is confusing for me. it seems like it's saying something important, and i don't think i'm getting it.

the concept holds up throughout, and it very interesting. giles' ability to empathize with willow at the end of season six, and why, is not something that occured to me previously. i think the second half could be tigethened, and if you wanted to work more on it at any point, i'd try to cut 70 words (10%) from the second half.

there's the concrit you asked for, but really, this may be my favorite of yours so far. the timing feels natural, the pace of the idea unfolding works well. thanks for sharing.

xoxo
s/

[clawofcat]

Thanks again for the wonderful feedback. Something just occurred to me...when you post the Dawn/Angel ficlet, you should also post it to the_jossverse. Their May spotlight characters are Dawn and Wesley. This would be a good opportunity to get your fic exposed to some more peeps and it is also a wonderful Dawn story. I think the Angel sex part is almost incidental in the larger scheme of the fic, which really is about Dawn's identity in the shadow of the Slayer. So go forth and submit it!

Oh ya, one more thing about Giles. I really like the first part much better than the second and that's mainly because I only really thought to write the Jenny/Giles part. The minimum wordcount for fics at the comm is 750 and Part I is only 500, so I needed to write more and hence cooked up Part II. I just love the stories behind the stories.