EVERYTHING HURTS
I got bitten by a dog last night (precisely, a Great Dane). She was waking up from surgery and flipping out, and my whole hand somehow ended up in her mouth. Of all my years being paid to break up dog fights and restrain fractious animals, this is the first time that I've gotten legit bitten by a dog. My boss sent me to the doctor and they put me on antibiotics and made me report the incident to animal control. I felt like such a snitch. Anyway, as my favorite Aquabats song (Canis Lupus) attests, dogs have very powerful jaws, and I felt like all my hand tissue and nerves and all that good stuff were crushed under the weight of this crazy dog's teeth. So, ow! Today it is very bruised and super-painful. But, as the doctor told me, apparently only 15% of dog bites become infected (versus 85% of cat bites, and "almost 100% of human bites"), and I'm already on antibiotics, so hopefully it won't be too long-lasting, effect-wise. I still have nerve weirdness on that same hand from when a dumb dog slammed a door on my hand in Boston, which I realized the other day while painting the bathroom wall. So, more nerve damage is welcome, I guess.
To add to the pain, I am having hellacious cramps thanks to my period that finally decided to show up three weeks late. What upsets me the most about this is that Joey did his usual tell-off towards me last weekend, and so while I was already sad and forever dealing with that dumb rejection fallout, there was still that nagging worry in the back of my head of whether I was carrying his demon-spawn, which, while unlikely with the IUD, is not unheard of, especially since I don't check my strings (since my doctor told me that that was pretty much useless) and I seem to think that having unprotected sex will "make him happy" because I am a bad person. And during all of that anxiety on my end, he gets to walk away and never think about or have any responsibility towards me again. Which he does twice a month. The woes of having a uterus.
Weekends are really hard for me because I don't have school or work, and I don't have a car, and I don't have friends, so I pretty much just sit in my house with scrambled nerves trying not to text Joey. I keep trying to find ways to prevent this, which involves attempting to make plans with anyone who will oblige, but that never seems to succeed. So right now I am sitting in my house with scrambled nerves trying not to text Joey. I have a lot of schoolwork to do but my hand hurts and my uterus hurts and everything hurts and I miss Joey and that makes my brain hurt, when you consider it all.
To add to the pain, I am having hellacious cramps thanks to my period that finally decided to show up three weeks late. What upsets me the most about this is that Joey did his usual tell-off towards me last weekend, and so while I was already sad and forever dealing with that dumb rejection fallout, there was still that nagging worry in the back of my head of whether I was carrying his demon-spawn, which, while unlikely with the IUD, is not unheard of, especially since I don't check my strings (since my doctor told me that that was pretty much useless) and I seem to think that having unprotected sex will "make him happy" because I am a bad person. And during all of that anxiety on my end, he gets to walk away and never think about or have any responsibility towards me again. Which he does twice a month. The woes of having a uterus.
Weekends are really hard for me because I don't have school or work, and I don't have a car, and I don't have friends, so I pretty much just sit in my house with scrambled nerves trying not to text Joey. I keep trying to find ways to prevent this, which involves attempting to make plans with anyone who will oblige, but that never seems to succeed. So right now I am sitting in my house with scrambled nerves trying not to text Joey. I have a lot of schoolwork to do but my hand hurts and my uterus hurts and everything hurts and I miss Joey and that makes my brain hurt, when you consider it all.