Old Wounds Still Bleeding...
Today I discovered that I am not as strong as I like to think I am. I usually try to pretend that I can move on easily and that having had my heart broken or hurt so much in the past has made it stronger. But it hasn’t. I’ve learned, and maybe I now know how to get up and pick up the pieces faster than before, but the truth is that I still get hurt.
-----BOYS-----
Apparently the impression Quinn made in me was deeper than I thought. Maybe it was the fact that we actually went on five dates while most guys always stop seeing me after the third (if that). Maybe I just felt more chemistry with him than I have with anyone else in a few months.
Today we were chatting about stuff and he told me he had gone on a date, and I couldn’t help but feel immense jealousy. We kept talking about things and I confessed I had had a big crush on him, and we talked about it. He had figured out things had died down and he decided he didn’t feel strongly enough about me to pursue anything else, but he wanted to be friends. He said he appreciated my honesty, and he still wants us to be friends. I’ve heard that before and most of the times it didn’t end well. But I guess I can’t do anything about it, I made my choice in telling him, and now it’s up to him.
What boggles me is that it still hurts a little to know he won’t be mine… Whatever happened to being so over him two weeks ago! But anyways, now I know for sure that he didn’t like me as much as I liked him and I can finally move on. For REAL this time!
One love interest love out, new love interest in. Before I was so sure that Quinn was 100% out of the picture (on my side, since I was pretty sure he wasn’t into me) I met another boy. Despite having said once again I didn’t want to date at the moment, fate put another boy in my path and we’ll see what happens here.
I went to the club last week because I had a deep urge to dance. My friends left pretty early but I didn’t want to leave yet so I stayed behind, and soon after saying goodbye I was dancing with Scott. We clicked well enough and before we knew it we were dancing close and kissing. I got his phone number but I was unsure whether or not I wanted to pursue something with him.
I decided I should call and give it a try, so I did call on Friday afternoon, but I was told by his roommate that he had left to the interior. So I left my number and name and figured the ball was on his court. He actually called back yesterday, even before he came back to Vancouver! So we made plans to go to the club again tomorrow night, and we will see what happens. I am looking forward to it. I like it when boys show interest. I hope the connection is as deep tomorrow when we meet before going to the club as it was on our semi-drunken state.
On other news, Steve is moving back to Ottawa this week. He decided he didn’t like Vancouver enough to stay here. We haven’t really hung out lately too often. He has been really weird and obnoxious lately (to say the least), and I am kind of glad he is going away so I don't have to deal with him. Don't ask me what I ever saw in him, cause I could not tell you! But anyhow, he is out of Vancouver and most likely out of my life. Good luck to him weirding out other people.
-----OTHER STUFF-----
So On Friday evening after work, I went camping. It was Margaret’s 22nd Birthday, so we went to Cultus Lake with Andy, Meaghan and Monica. We set up camp, ate some hotdogs, and then the three girls and I went skinny dipping in the lake. It was a first for all of us and we took some pictures to prove we did it!
After a 20 minute naked swim near a log we swore was a hippo, we went back up to camp, ate smores and got smashed, had a marshmallow fight, and played drinking games and a board game bought at a sex store (yes, so you can imagine!). It was a good camping experience.
I also got approved for volunteering with Big Brothers. Tomorrow I get to meet my possible little brother and if things go well we’ll sign contracts and then it will be ready for sure!
So anyways, that’s everything for now. I guess I’ll update more later to see how things go.
-----BOYS-----
Apparently the impression Quinn made in me was deeper than I thought. Maybe it was the fact that we actually went on five dates while most guys always stop seeing me after the third (if that). Maybe I just felt more chemistry with him than I have with anyone else in a few months.
Today we were chatting about stuff and he told me he had gone on a date, and I couldn’t help but feel immense jealousy. We kept talking about things and I confessed I had had a big crush on him, and we talked about it. He had figured out things had died down and he decided he didn’t feel strongly enough about me to pursue anything else, but he wanted to be friends. He said he appreciated my honesty, and he still wants us to be friends. I’ve heard that before and most of the times it didn’t end well. But I guess I can’t do anything about it, I made my choice in telling him, and now it’s up to him.
What boggles me is that it still hurts a little to know he won’t be mine… Whatever happened to being so over him two weeks ago! But anyways, now I know for sure that he didn’t like me as much as I liked him and I can finally move on. For REAL this time!
One love interest love out, new love interest in. Before I was so sure that Quinn was 100% out of the picture (on my side, since I was pretty sure he wasn’t into me) I met another boy. Despite having said once again I didn’t want to date at the moment, fate put another boy in my path and we’ll see what happens here.
I went to the club last week because I had a deep urge to dance. My friends left pretty early but I didn’t want to leave yet so I stayed behind, and soon after saying goodbye I was dancing with Scott. We clicked well enough and before we knew it we were dancing close and kissing. I got his phone number but I was unsure whether or not I wanted to pursue something with him.
I decided I should call and give it a try, so I did call on Friday afternoon, but I was told by his roommate that he had left to the interior. So I left my number and name and figured the ball was on his court. He actually called back yesterday, even before he came back to Vancouver! So we made plans to go to the club again tomorrow night, and we will see what happens. I am looking forward to it. I like it when boys show interest. I hope the connection is as deep tomorrow when we meet before going to the club as it was on our semi-drunken state.
On other news, Steve is moving back to Ottawa this week. He decided he didn’t like Vancouver enough to stay here. We haven’t really hung out lately too often. He has been really weird and obnoxious lately (to say the least), and I am kind of glad he is going away so I don't have to deal with him. Don't ask me what I ever saw in him, cause I could not tell you! But anyhow, he is out of Vancouver and most likely out of my life. Good luck to him weirding out other people.
-----OTHER STUFF-----
So On Friday evening after work, I went camping. It was Margaret’s 22nd Birthday, so we went to Cultus Lake with Andy, Meaghan and Monica. We set up camp, ate some hotdogs, and then the three girls and I went skinny dipping in the lake. It was a first for all of us and we took some pictures to prove we did it!
After a 20 minute naked swim near a log we swore was a hippo, we went back up to camp, ate smores and got smashed, had a marshmallow fight, and played drinking games and a board game bought at a sex store (yes, so you can imagine!). It was a good camping experience.
I also got approved for volunteering with Big Brothers. Tomorrow I get to meet my possible little brother and if things go well we’ll sign contracts and then it will be ready for sure!
So anyways, that’s everything for now. I guess I’ll update more later to see how things go.